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Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

Discussion in 'Star Wars: Paint Adventures' started by Alamact, Feb 21, 2016.

  1. The One Armed Wampa

    The One Armed Wampa Rebel General

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    Use THE FARCE on one of the NEARBY CRATES to bring it near YOU so it can be used to CLEVERLY DISGUISE YOURSELF as a TALKING SENTIENT CRATE. And so it can OBSCURE your VISION of the ZABRAK WOMEN

    YOU CAN'T get nervous in front of WOMEN you CAN'T SEE afterall. And you'd have BETTER ODDS CONVERSING with them as a RUGGEDLY HANDSOME CRATE then the LOBSTER MAN you ACTUALLY ARE anyway.
     
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  2. Spacebeast48

    Spacebeast48 Rebel Official

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    Enjoyed reading your timeline, @DarthBaron! It is well put and composed with care. You are a gem for this thread, even if you did kind of disprove my M+K=J theory a bit there. :p

    So you think we won't see Mynock and Kestrel in present time by the end of this Act?
     
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  3. Capt. Andrew Luck

    Capt. Andrew Luck Guardian of the Neckbeard

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    Honestly? No. Unless Mynock and Kes are hiding in that imperial cache on Dantooine for some reason, and i can't see Mynock WILLINGLY sharing the same planet with his ex wife, Jane.

    But guys. Guys. Hang on. I got something big :D

    I wanted to listen to some ORPA soundtrack for a bit and then it hit me.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    It's been in front of our noses the ENTIRE TIME!

    [​IMG]

    MASTER TYREN F*CKING CONFIRMED!!

    Now I need to sleep. It is a bit late here... or early. xD
     
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  4. BloodyShadow

    BloodyShadow Force Sensitive

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    Wow! I definitely join the story. You all do a very good job!

    So, to continue:
    While MISSY GO TALKING to the GIRLS in the POOL, you WONDER what is the BROWNISH BOTTLE to left of the DOOR.
    It is some COMBUSTIBLE LIQUID that you decided to TAKE with you for later.
    Then, you GO TALKING to the DROIDS near the POOL thinking that if they TRY TO KILL you, you THROW THEM in the POOL to SHORT-CIRCUIT THEM because at the SITH ACADEMY, you LEARNT that ELECTRONICS + WATER = KABOOM!
     
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  5. Dork Lord of the Bith

    Dork Lord of the Bith PhD in Sith Ethics

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    Welcome to the thread @BloodyShadow ! Looking forward to your suggestions!
     
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  6. Alamact

    Alamact Rear Admiral
    1030th Commander *** (Mod)

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    [​IMG]

    You decide to CHEAT via console by enabling SWIMMING RIGHTS! Lobsters were always meant to be swimmers!

    COMPUTER USE SKILL TOO LOW. AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION HERE?

    Switching to PLAN B, you try to CONVINCE MISSY to become your PERSONAL TOOL of EXCHANGING CORRESPONDENCE between yourself and these FINE, SCANTILY-CLAD LADIES.

    [​IMG]

    Actually, you're the tool here, SABER... because this action only makes you LOSE 60 REP with MISSY, not that ANYONE is STILL COUNTING this OUTDATED GAMEPLAY MECHANIC!

    Maybe you NEED some REFRESHMENTS to RESET your ENERGY. Luckily for you, there's a JAR of COFFEE right NEXT to YOU.

    [​IMG]

    What can LADIES DO against SUCH RECKLESS PEASANTRY?

    You LOSE 120 REPUTATION with MISSY for CHUGGING DOWN the COFFEE JAR like a CRIMSON APE.

    [​IMG]

    SABER.

    SABER, WHAT are you DOING!?

    [​IMG]

    SABER. You can only take SO MUCH.

    SABER.

    That's NOT even COFFEE.

    [​IMG]

    It's ROBOT OIL you FILTH-RIDDLED CRUSTACEAN!

    You have a BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

    [​IMG]
    SEVERAL MINUTES LATER.

    SABER: "Why must the Force hurt me in this way?"
    MISSY: "I doubt the Force had anything to do with it."
    SABER: "It was telling me that there was coffee in that jar! Not oil!"

    MISSY: "Well, *maybe* you should just use your eyes instead, for once!"
    SABER: "My eyes were busy."
    MISSY: "Doing WHAT?"
    SABER: "Ogling at my ex?"
    MISSY: "That was *so* not your ex."
    COLUMBO: "I’ve never seen such a graphic display of vomiting in all my years as a droid detective."

    DON'T WORRY, COLUMBO. NEITHER HAVE WE.

    COLUMBO: "Has your mother never taught you to grill your fish before eating it, punk? You cost me my prized Minstrel Gear! And my Femme Fatales! I swear, if this Missy here weren’t in your company, I would..."

    MISSY gives you a SUBTLE SIGNAL.

    [​IMG]

    She gestures a PICKPOCKETING MOTION towards COLUMBO'S PASS KEY. You are now faced with two choices.

    [​IMG]

    You can attempt to CONVINCE COLUMBO to give up his PASS KEY and JOIN YOU on your ADVENTURE. This will make COLUMBO a PERMANENT COMPANION and your PERSONAL BROBOT. However, this plan also has a CHANCE to FAIL and BACKFIRE against you. HORRIBLY.

    You can alternatively GO the SAFE ROUTE by having MISSY PICKPOCKET COLUMBO whilst he's being DISTRACTED by your LONG-WINDED ETHICS DISCUSSION or SOME SUCH. This will CERTAINLY EARN YOU the PASS KEY, but you may be FORCED to do BATTLE against COLUMBO at some point.

    What do you do?
     
    #1026 Alamact, Aug 27, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2017
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  7. Dork Lord of the Bith

    Dork Lord of the Bith PhD in Sith Ethics

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    There's no way you miss out on this fine specimen of a brobot.
    There's even a way to earn your rep back with Columbo. Convince him that your mother was actually a droid, hence why you felt the need to devour that oil. However, you have a disease called ihaterobotoilness (legit, it even has "illness" in it, sort of) and that makes you sometimes expel the substance from your system. Ah, the hard life of a cyborg like you...
    Columbo is bound to relate! Missy might shoot you though...
     
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  8. BloodyShadow

    BloodyShadow Force Sensitive

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    You TRY TO CONVINCE COLUMBO but he is still in "BE A DICK" MODE so he makes you understand that it is HOPELESS.
    MISSY is LOOSING PATIENCE so while you are talking, she MANAGES to PICKPOCKET COLUMBO and CLOBBER him without warning you.
    You both RUN AWAY to the CONTROL ROOM but the two DROIDS don't pursue you because you weren't in their AGGRO RANGE.
    Stupid droids. Not that you complain...
     
    #1028 BloodyShadow, Aug 27, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2016
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  9. Voxx

    Voxx Jedi Hero of Legend

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    Is it possible for Missy to reprogram Columbo? He could be quite the asset if he wa's under your command.
     
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  10. Capt. Andrew Luck

    Capt. Andrew Luck Guardian of the Neckbeard

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    I think that would be like reprogramming R2-D2 which would just feel wrong. Columbo's programming is probably too complex and almost nearing true sentience to tamper with.

    Jeeves's programming on the other hand? Can't wait for Missy to get her hands on that. xD
    She'll turn it into the next BT-0X!
     
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  11. Spacebeast48

    Spacebeast48 Rebel Official

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    It's safe to say that CONVINCING COLUMBO is the superior choice here! :D

    Even if we fail, it surely can't mean that Alamact will just kill off Saber and Missy!
     
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  12. Alamact

    Alamact Rear Admiral
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    [​IMG]

    Character redesigns for Act II have been finalized! I'm looking forward to finally unveiling them in the thread, as some have been in constant tweaking for several months. Think of this little post as a tease of things yet to come.
     
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  13. NvVanity

    NvVanity Rebelscum

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    Try to PERSUADE COLUMBO, HOW YOU MIGHT ASK? By OFFERING (some) of the LIGHT SABER CRYSTALS to help WIN BACK THE FEMME FATALES. WOMEN LIKE SHINY, EXPENSIVE ROCKS NO MATTER HOW FAR INTO SCI-FI/FANTASY YOU GO.
     
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  14. DarthSnow

    DarthSnow Sith in the North
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    SABER gives MISSY that old "Don't worry, I've got this" look. MISSY rolls her eyes and decides to hedge her bets by PICK-POCKETTING COLUMBO since, so far, SABER has shown NO SIGNS of COMPETENCE whatsoever.

    Meanwhile, SABER divulges into his LIFE STORY: His relatives were ROBOTS, his ex was a ZABRAK, he's a LIGHT-SIDE SITH, his mentor and former master from whom he learned everything about ETHICS actually turned out to be a MANIACAL TYRANT. And that's just the start of it! Despite looking like a LOBSTER he can't actually SWIM, and despite being named DARTH SABER he doesn't even own a FRICKIN LIGHTSABER. He is a WALKING CONTRADICTION of EPIC PROPORTIONS.

    You end with the recent string of events that has brought you here: You PISSED OFF a HUTT and got thrown in JAIL, LOST your WEAPON, got SHOT in the ever-lovin' FACE by both SCALES and RATCHET, chewed on by KATH HOUNDS, got carried around like a HELPLESS SITH DOLL by both REAL RATCHET and REAL DOOP, and dipped in PEE. You have ZERO GIRL-TALK abilities, but that means little considering you have been EMBARASSED in front of EVERY SINGLE FEMALE you've ever come across. Finally, your ARMOR CLEANING business has gone down the SH*TTER and you stink like FISH and COFFEE-OIL PUKE.

    You end with a FINAL PLEA:
    "Help me, Oiled-One Columbo. You're my only hope."

    COLUMBO is moved by your PITIFUL story and AGREES to GIVE UP the PASS KEY! There's just one problem... it's MISS(Y)ING!

    Oh Saber. Only you could succeed and still fail!
     
    #1034 DarthSnow, Aug 28, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2016
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  15. MadsLad

    MadsLad Rebel Official

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    And if THIS fails, OFFER your ARMOR CLEANSER. It should WORK WONDERS on an OLD BROBOT like COLUMBO!

    You have been carrying that blast around for at least NINE CHAPTERS! It's time to USE IT.
     
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  16. Capt. Andrew Luck

    Capt. Andrew Luck Guardian of the Neckbeard

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    Yes! This should do it! APPEAL to COLUMBIA'S DESIRE to be the SHINING HERO at the SPOTLIGHT even if he is ANYTHING BUT. A good SQUEAK and RUB should put COLUMBINA'S RADIANT BEAUTY for all to see!
    Everything about this post is awesome! You did a fine job, my fellow Darth! :D
    So what we have learned from this is more or less: Doop has a longer robe, Saber has a longer cape, Jun has longer everything and Missy is in power armor. Nice.
     
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  17. GingerByte

    GingerByte Guest

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    A wild Pablo Hidalgo appears and tells you Columbo is no longer canon and must be taken in for immediate banishment to the legends universe. The question now is do you help Hidalgo and hope he accepts the key as canon, or do you help Columbo fight him off and hope he gives you the key as a thank you gift? :D
     
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  18. DarthSnow

    DarthSnow Sith in the North
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    Thank you, Lord Baron! :D Didn't want it to be so lengthy but once I started getting into the "Tragedy of Darth Saber" I just couldn't stop! Also didn't realize just how bad the poor bastard has had it...
     
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  19. Bandini

    Bandini Jedi Commander

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    Assuming the oil was for Columbo and that he has no more drink for him, you should convince him that you can find him some incredible rare oil if he works for you.
     
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  20. Wraloa_Craubo

    Wraloa_Craubo Rebelscum

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    I didn't forget this website was a thing. Nope. Nu-uh. Not this guy.
     
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