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A letter to Kennedy/Abrams from a worried parent

Discussion in 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' started by T.R.P., Aug 6, 2015.

  1. Luuke22

    Luuke22 1030th Lieutenant (Jr Mod)

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    And @Johnny Thunder wins the thread. Kudos, sir!
     
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  2. Rifleman

    Rifleman Rebelscum

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    Growing up, my parents had a zero exception rule that I was not allowed to watch PG-13 movies until I was 13. As a result, I missed out on going to out see movies with my friends, talking about the latest movies at school (you have no idea how hard it was being the only kid in my school not to have seen Jurassic Park). I was not even allowed to go to friends 13th birthday party because they were watching Ace Ventura Pet detective on VHS at the party, and I was only 12 years old. The ultimate insult however was, when I turned 13, the rule went away, and my two younger sisters were allowed to see PG-13 movies at the ages of 9 and 11.

    As an adult, watching the movies I desperately wanted to see back then, 9 out of 10 times my reaction is "I would let me daughters watch this at 8-10 years old" There are occasional PG-13 movies that I agree with the rating, and would not let them see (how Titanic got a PG-13 rating in a country afraid of boobs is beyond me), but the majority of PG-13 movies are acceptable for a younger audience with appropriate parental guidance.

    Most of us go through our younger years resenting everything our parents do to/for us (its part of being a kid), but then grow up to realize how right they were. My parents did a great job raising me, and I turned out alright, but I can honestly say this is the one issue from my child hood that I still resent, even today as a 32 year old man with 2 kids of my own. The social consequences of a zero tolerance movie policy likely did more damage to my development than the movies them selfs would have done.

    As for my kids, I am going to take an active role, and will research or watch any movie they wish to watch in advance, and take it on a case by case basis. Yes, this will mean they will not get to experience opening day on some movies, and that I will have to watch some movies I otherwise would not want to, but I feel this will be the best way to handle things. Not all PG-13 movies are created equal, and different kids will be effected differently by different types of objectionable material.

    At the end of the day, nobody but you can decide how to raise your kids. If you want to let them see PG-13 movies, that is your decision, and if you want to deny them, that is also your decision. Honestly, both paths can have negative outcomes. If you do continue your zero tolerance policy for PG-13 movies, for the love of God please be consistent with all of your kids, and dont let the younger kids see these movies once your oldest turns 13. I know it seems petty now (and it honestly is), but I can not describe how much that inconsistency hurts as a 13 year old.

    Best of luck, and keep up the good work on your kids. The world needs more involved parents.
     
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  3. capri

    capri Rebelscum

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    It all comes to the fact that it has nothing to do with age.

    Kids don't magically grow up the last night they have 12 years, and wake up ready to see violence the day they turn 13. Every kid is different, so this ratings should be treated like that: with criteria. I think if your kid has 8 years and he grows up to remember how amazing was the night he went to the premiere of TFA with his parents dressed up as r2d2, he will treasure that memory more than if he sees Kylo Ren cutting someones arm...
     
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  4. Trevor

    Trevor Rebellion Arms Supplier
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    Hey now...
     
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  5. Luuke22

    Luuke22 1030th Lieutenant (Jr Mod)

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    That's the power of James Cameron; feel his might, ye mortals, and weep. :p

    In response to your post though: I was raised in a similar way, though not as strict in some ways (and even more strict in others). Not all PG-13 movies were banned (as I said, I even watched some R ones at a young age), but certain movies were, like Adam Sandler flicks. Where I really got the harsh end of the deal was TV; I couldn't watch many popular shows, like Spongebob, Rocko's Modern Life, Power Rangers, Pokemon, or Family Guy. I was told these shows would "melt my brain" and was encouraged to read instead; good advice by itself, but as I said before I was at a pretty high reading level by a young age, and was reading books with a lot more adult content than anything shown on network television. I got away with still watching some of these shows and movies by going to a friend's house or when my older siblings would babysit me, but for the most part I was deprived of many social interactions with kids my age who were allowed to watch this "brain melting" entertainment and always felt a little ostracized for it. Luckily, I had old parents who got only more lenient as I grew up, but for quite a few years I was "the kid with the ultra-strict parents."

    Side note: now my dad and I watch Family Guy all the time :p. I can still remember the first time he and I watched it together, in our hotel room on a trip; I aways though he hated the show, but it turns out he just didn't want me watching it and had been a fan for years. That's a good memory :).
     
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  6. GraveRobber

    GraveRobber Rebelscum

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    Oh boohoo. There is no reason to f**k up the rating just so children can go and watch the movie. If the movie is PG 13 then great, if it is PG then great also, but they shouldn't start changing the rating from the original rating to PG just for the sake of kids. Accept the fact that some movies are just not for kids.
     
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  7. Trevor

    Trevor Rebellion Arms Supplier
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    Come on now...
     
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  8. Messi

    Messi G.O.A.T.

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    After reading your posts I'm feeling lucky to have watched a lot of "violent" movies in my childhood!!

    Robocop(VHS) when I was about 7 or 8 years old.
    Predator(VHS) when I was about 9, and I love it!
    Jurassic Park when I was 10, and it was the most memorable momment that I had in a movie Theater!!!
    And more....
     
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  9. CHOLOBOT

    CHOLOBOT Rebel General

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    I see what you did there. LOL.
    I'm going to take my kid to see TFA. He is 5 and I say no to many films and shows he wants to see. Not Star Wars. Not on my watch.
     
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  10. Johnny Thunder

    Johnny Thunder Rebel General

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    Accept the fact that Star Wars is, in part, for kids.
     
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  11. Luuke22

    Luuke22 1030th Lieutenant (Jr Mod)

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    I'm not standing up for antagonizing another user, but addressing your point: many of us also have to accept that kids today can handle a lot more than they might have been able to before. If kids can handle Marvel movies and video game violence, they can handle a PG-13 Star Wars film.
     
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  12. Grand Admiral Kraum

    Grand Admiral Kraum Force Sensitive

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    Oh blah blah blah.. social justice warrior garbage. You're going on ignore.

    http://www.rd.com/slideshows/sense-of-humor/

    Just to clarify to the OP, I meant no offense to you and my first post was actually very tongue in cheek.. However I do think its silly for anyone to assume that this film won't be suitable for children.

    If your child has seen previous films in the series then I see no issue whatsoever with them seeing this film.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
    #32 Grand Admiral Kraum, Aug 6, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2015
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  13. Rebo

    Rebo Nearsighted Whill Guardian
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    As a counterpoint to those who had restrictive parents, I had absolutely no restrictions on my viewing as a kid. My parents didn't believe in it. They'd watch movies with me, tell me to hide my eyes if I was scared. Allowed me to ask questions about things I didn't understand. And most importantly taught me that what was happening was not real. I remember watching Psycho when I was 6 or 7 and being fascinated that the blood was Hershey's syrup as opposed to scared of the murderer or intrigued by the naked lady in the shower. Other things they'd watch that were over my head would bore me and I'd lose interest. But removing the stigma of taboo from it made what was forbidden to others less enticing while creating a passion for the craft of film making that I keep to this day.

    For the most part I've turned out somewhat mentally stable....or at least any issues I have are due to a myriad of other problems.

    Now I have two kids of my own. 11 and 5 currently. I took them both to see Ant-Man a couple weeks ago. Had no idea it was even PG-13 until I read this thread. I just knew the content interested them so I took them with no issues. Its a super hero movie so its aimed at kids. A few swears, some fake blood, or (gasp) nudity aren't going to hurt anyone in my opinion as long as you talk to your kids about what they are seeing. The only harm is created by the social stigma we put on them. I can say feces, poop, or dookie and I get a pass. Up it to crap, and it starts to offend. Raise that to s--t and suddenly I have to censor myself for a word that in its use and meaning was no different than the four before. That to me makes no sense, so I make no effort to hide my kids from it.

    If it looks like it will scare, bore, or mentally scar them I won't take them to see it. But its Star Wars. Nothing that happens in this movie will be that bad.

    I don't judge any parent's decisions on how to control their children's viewing habits. That is up to the parent. But I do think sometimes we lose site of the context in which our kids are viewing these things. We see them through adult eyes and in many ways those adult eyes are far more susceptible to the scarring and suspension of disbelief than our kids are because of the intent and emotion from our real lives that we project onto the screen that a child would have no reference point for.

    But that's just my approach. All approaches are valid.
     
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  14. Dark Toilet

    Dark Toilet Force Sensitive

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    This whole topic is a very important one for me. I have a five year old boy and two (almost three) year old girl. As their daddy, I am totally obsessed with Star Wars, and I want nothing more than to share it with them. My kids have not seen the movies, but they know all about them because I have generally shared the stories by talking about them (not actually watching the movies), reading Star Wars books from the library, they have toy lightsabers, Star Wars Legos, got to do all the Star Wars related stuff at Disneyland and Legoland, and on and on. We are so inundated with it and other franchise properties, whether they be Avengers, Disney princesses, etc., it is near impossible to shelter your kids from the "sales pitch" these companies make. Nonetheless, Star Wars (like other franchises) is all about selling toys and merchandise to kids (and their obsessed daddies) and my kids and I have been happy consumers.

    My wife, on the other hand, has no interest in sci-fi, fantasy in general, so she had never seen any of the Star Wars films... until last night. The only reason she agreed to watch the original Star Wars, Episode IV, was that I have been pushing to share it with my son. So, she finally relented and we watched the first half. By that point, she said, "You know I love you. But that is not okay for our son." Even before we watched it together I had already watched it recently and concluded a few scenes would have to be fast-forwarded: the massacre of Jawas and burning of their corpses, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's smoking skeletons, the severed alien arm in the cantina. So I told her in advance of those scenes. My wife pointed out others: Vader choking and throwing the rebel commander into a starship wall, the point-blank range frying of Greedo, etc.. I thought much like many have expressed here in this thread: It's not really that bad.

    I am no prude, I think it is ridiculous the stink we make in the US over nudity, when our kids are exposed to an overwhelming culture of language and violence. Nonetheless, my wife reminded me of something and I agree with her entirely. Your children are only young and innocent for a short time and it is our job to protect them while we still can. That's not to say that you shield them from things so much that they are ostracized when they join their peers in school, and so on. But just because someone else makes poor parenting choices in the children your kids associate with doesn't mean you just let your kids follow suit.

    The reality is, I have been blinded by my own selfish desire to connect with my kids over something I am passionate about, as I want them to have a similar experience as I did seeing that first Star Wars movie in the theater when I was 7 years old. But my son is not 7 years old yet, and there is a difference in a particular child from 5 to 7, no matter their level of development. Could he handle it? Sure, probably. Should he? Maybe not.

    Anyway, I don't necessarily want the creativity of the film to be stifled just to make it kid friendly. But, I can understand the concern the OP has, and what @DarthWalker mentions resonates with me:
    Our kids are constantly being sold products like Star Wars and it would be nice to know that the movies will be appropriate for them to enjoy. However, it is ultimately our responsibility as parents to make those individual assessments for our kids. My son will probably just have to wait for Episode VIII or IX to get his first in theater experience.
     
    #34 Dark Toilet, Aug 6, 2015
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  15. Johnny Thunder

    Johnny Thunder Rebel General

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    I didn't mean to antagonize but to your point, I agree to an extent. Every kid is different though. Some kids are super sensitive and others can handle more than most kids their age. It really does depend on the kid and how much the parent is comfortable with.
     
    #35 Johnny Thunder, Aug 6, 2015
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  16. Rebo

    Rebo Nearsighted Whill Guardian
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    Its interesting though. My 5 year old has been watching ANH since he was 2. That was his first star wars, For a while there he would watch the entire Tattoine portion of the film every day (he gets bored when they go to space for some reason).

    At first I was concerned about Greedo and the skeletons. He never noticed them. But he would sometimes get really upset when R2 and 3P0 fight and go separate ways. Because at that Sesame Street level mentality, that's all he really identified with. Fighting with your friend affected far more than death or violence or fear of the bad guy. Those things simply didn't matter to a kid that young. So he ignored them.

    Maybe my son is not good for a typical example. All kids are different. I just thought it was interesting when I saw that happen. My adult perspective expected and saw certain things that did not register to him. And he found something to be upset about that I would have never thought of.
     
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  17. Grand Admiral Kraum

    Grand Admiral Kraum Force Sensitive

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    Another thing i'd like to add

    [​IMG]
     
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  18. Dark Toilet

    Dark Toilet Force Sensitive

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    That is pretty funny. The first thing my wife said to me at that scene was, "C3PO isn't very nice to R2." She picked up on it, too, so I suspect my kids would also... they have said things like that before in other contexts.

    One thing that is tough for me is, I have told my wife that ANH is the tamest, most kid friendly of all the movies. I have a couple of very Star-Wars-fanatic friends with older kids that I asked what ages they thought were okay to introduce kids to the movies. They said, "We didn't even think about it, ours have watched them since they could hold their interest." Probably like your son. Ultimately, those friends suggested when my kids knew solidly the difference between right and wrong. We also have close friends whose kids are roughly the same ages that have watched all the movies recently. These are deeply religious, conservative minded people... and last night my wife said, "I can't believe they let their kids watch all of these movies." Part of me thinks my son is just as mature and if it is okay for them, it should be okay for him.

    But, I also respect my wife's opinion and it is probably better to be safe about it. There really shouldn't be any rush just because there are new Star Wars movies being made.

    From my perspective, that doesn't mean much. Some of the scariest imagery and characters in kids movies has come from the old school Disney princess movies.
     
    #38 Dark Toilet, Aug 6, 2015
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  19. Darth Rimbaud

    Darth Rimbaud Rebel General

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    Star "Wars." As in "Wars." As in violence. It's in the title of the franchise, and we're worried about too much violence? Did we miss something, kids?

    Wars.

    Star... Wars.

    There is going to be violence. Fake violence, but violence.

    Sweet Jesus, I need a drink.
     
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  20. Rieekan

    Rieekan SWNN Hawkeye
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    yep disney

     
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