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  1. Embo and His Pet Anooba

    Embo and His Pet Anooba Jedi Commander

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    I’m going to critique TFA and TLJ in every way. This is not meant to anger anyone so nobody get triggered. You are free to rebuke my critiques. In fact, I encourage it!!



    LET’S DO THIS

    Ok so starting out with the opening scene of TFA, I just wonder how much easier it would have been if they had email.

    “Hey Lor, it’s Poe. I need dat Luke map stat.“
    “Okay, you wanna come over?”
    “Yes! Wait, that wouldn’t make sense, just email it and then evacuate.”
    “Hahah, imagine if you came over here for the map and the First Order came and killed us all.”
    “Yeah, like I would actually go over there. Remember to email it!”

    and then a lot of TFA wouldn’t have happened. Another random thing is that when Nines is dying, he has a bloody hand. Where did that come from? I though the blasters would cauterize every wound?
    OFF to REYYYY!
    When Rey uses her sled to go down the dunes, why couldn’t she use her speeder, It can go up hills right? Then she could load her scrap parts into her speeder without going down the hill. It’s minimal, but still.
    Then Rey finds bb8 and says that his antenna is not aligned or something. Why does he need antennas with the technology they have. No wireless??? R2 didn’t have antennas. It makes sense that in the 70’s they envision tech with antenna but now??
    Rey goes to Niima Outpost and she gets one quarter portion. This raises two arguments from me. First of all, it seems like generally, people don’t like Unkar. And it seems like he only has two goons and Rey stomped them heavily. So why hasn’t someone revolted yet? If Rey and the other scavengers banded together, I’m sure they could take control of the place. And maybe they could convince the constables(the kyuzo guys).
    Anyway, they could have all many quarter portions or they could fly away on ships. WHEEEE. Second argument is about the Inflato-Bread. Holy crap that is REVOLUTIONARY. There would be no famines, just throw down the Inflato-Bread. If the poor scavengers can afford it, then everyone else can! For example, in the Clone Wars episode Mercy Mission, they have to deliver food to the Aleen people. But with inflato-bread, they could have just flown over with gunships and thrown Inflato-Bread down to the starving people and wasted no time.
    I have no more problems until Rey smacks Finn with her stick. Then he is helpless on the floor. My problem with this, and the problem with all characters portrayed weak but given a better backstory later is that Finn should have been able to overpower Rey. In some book I don’t know what it’s called but Finn is a great stormtrooper! He is very skilled and even Phasma compliments him. And Phasma comes from the Scyre, where “If you are over 50, we shall murder you in your sleep because you are weak!” So basically, Finn could’ve done some jujitsu or something and come out on top.
    Nothing until the escape from the Eravana. Once they jump to hyperspeed, it is shown that the gang members behind them get thrown back a little. But since it’s HYPERSPEED, shouldn’t they be thrown through a wall or something with the immense force? Now we are at Takodana, Nines vs Finn! EXCITEMENT???? Anyway, Nines is like “TRAITOR!!!” This makes more sense then when Kylo REN says it as Nines knew Finn. So Nines has his gun and shield, and he throws both on the ground. WHY!!!!!!!!! I can understand throwing his gun down if he wants to fight “like a MAN!” But don’t throw down your shield! You need that! Finn has a LAZERSWORD, and having a shield might have protected him from Chewie’s bowcaster.
    “Ooh a THERMAL OSICILLATOR. WHAt FUN.”
    Why do they have such weaknesses, these Death Star like things. You thought they would have learned by now. NOPE!! In fact, it seemed like these weakness was easier to exploit as you just fly in and shoot and blow up things. Next, when the Falcon enters from hyperspace. Hyperspace is instantaneous. The lines that you see when someone goes to hyperspace are an ILLUSION. Therefore hyper spacing into star killer base would have smashed them against the rocks unless they had time for very very very precise calculations and research and I DONT THINK THEY DID!!!! Then they overpower Phasma and look above to see my argument about that. Lastly, Kylo should have stomped Rey or at least they fight should have been more REn-sides. Oh, and Leia gives a random stranger a hug. LUKE MAP which raises the question why does Luke have a map if he doesn’t want to be found.
    “I found you Luke, I found you, I’ve been searching for so long.”
    “Piss off, random stranger. I CAME HERE TO DIE.”
    “ You left a map though.”
    “What?”
    “Yeah, you left a map.”
    “That doesn’t make sense, I came here so I couldn’t be found. Why would I leave a map?”
    “That’s what I told Leia.”

    THE LAST JEDI.

    Ok SOOO first of all the whole fleet of bombers is wrecked, but once there is one left, the first order shoots as well as a drunk, blind monkey who was just born. Also, nice catch with the remote, Paige. IMPOSSIBLE!!!! Also there is gravity in space, but the bombs wouldn’t just fall down out of the bomber.
    So begins the endless chase.

    “We don’t have enough fuel to catch up with them sir! At this range our cannons are ineffective against their shields”
    “ Use the TIE fighters.”
    “Oh, I didn’t think of that.”
    “YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT YOU DIDN’T!! THAT’S WHY I’M YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER!!!”
    And then Holdo doesn’t tell them the plan. Why? IDK.
    Next the introduction of rose. Rose is best character in TLJ, but I didn’t like how she was introduced. You don’t need an escape pod guard, when you have LOCKS!! AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SCREENTIME ROSE GETS? I DO!! 10 MINUTES. And a lot of it is wasted with space horses, escape pod guards, and Crait speeder crashes. Canto Bight was full of bad, so I will explain it in a few words. Space horse casino coincidence. Coincidence might be the only one that doesn’t speak for itself, so it was a HUGE coincidence that Finn and Rose were in the same cell as a code breaker who could do the job that maz said there was only ONE person who could do it, and they found another guy. Also he was waiting for them to come so he could escape? He could have opened the doors at any time.

    HHHahHahHahHah HOLDO MANUEVER!!!!
    Ok so I will break this into several arguments against common defenses for the Holdo Manuever, which as we know, trivializes all Star Wars warfare.
    1. It takes skill: No! You just point a ship at something at go hyperspeed.
    2. Too expensive: Go down to a junkyard, get crappy ships, attach hyper drives, PROFIT
    3. The cost of human lives is too great: Robot Pilots
    4. It’s a war crime: Since when has anybody imperial cared since Thrawn? And they could hire bounty hunters to send droid pilots,
    5. Rian Johnson Answer: Experimental Shield: Hux disproves this as the look on his face shows he knows what is going to happen.
    Nothing until Crait. Rose smashes into Finn to save him! HERO? Finn was going to save the Resistance and Rose royally screws things up. Sure, things turned out well, but she didn’t know that! Finally, Spirit Yoda can connect with the physical world.


    Alright guys thank for listening this is Jim GAffigan signing out.
    Rebuke me!
     
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  2. Angelman

    Angelman Servant of the Whills -- Slave to the Muses
    1030th Grand Admiral ***** (Mod)

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    **sigh** There are literally dozens and dozens of topics slamming the ST films around here. It's been going on for 5 years now... Can't we please discuss something else? This subject has been investigated, discussed, argued, flame-war'ed, refuted, explained, attacked, ridiculed, burried, and reanimated ad nauseam. Please read up on the gazillion other hater and critique threads and pick your answers from there. This is getting OOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD.
     
    #2 Angelman, Apr 3, 2020
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2020
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  3. Embo and His Pet Anooba

    Embo and His Pet Anooba Jedi Commander

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    Sadness.
    Sadness. Very well Sir Angelman.
     
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  4. deadmanwalkin009

    deadmanwalkin009 Force Sensitive

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    No thanks. There's already tons of threads about this. I'm sure there's one that will line up with your views. Please go to those threads and debate. There's nothing new that you brought to the table. I just don't have the energy to debate about this anymore.
     
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  5. Fearghas_Ajax

    Fearghas_Ajax Force Sensitive

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    As the others have said, there threads for TFA and TLJ that you may want to read through. You may find places where these topics are discussed. But I just have to throw my 2 cents in :

    1. Sometimes Information is to sensitive to send electronically. You may not want your transmission intercepted, hence a person to person meeting.

    2. The "Holdo Manuever" was not the initial plan. It was a change in a plan as a result of a human decision based on the changing situation. Something that a robot who was commanded to do a specific task may not make.
     
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  6. Jedi77-83

    Jedi77-83 Force Sensitive

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    I would say to any SW fan: Enjoy what you like and don't obsess about what you don't like. The Saga is finished so it's to the point where you can take it or leave the movies. I'm not saying you're wrong for disliking the PT or the ST, but I think it's best to move on. Trust me for your sanity, moving on is liberating. I moved on from The Terminator Franchise after the dreadful Salvation and have never seen Genysis or Dark Fate. I really don't care about them nor do I bother to waste my time critiquing them if I watched them. That's what more SW fans should do.
     
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