Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

Now that's a video I have not seen in a long time. A long time.

I was actually inspired by a sequence from Saints Row 4 where you're in the middle of a railroaded dramatic space chase versus aliens. The radio from your spaceship picks up a nearly radio signal. The song? Well, you know it. And when Keith David tells you to "Spin this ship, dammit!", you don't really have a choice now, do you? I couldn't ignore the strong resemblance so I went with it.

That's actually an intended part of the comic's style. I would have implemented it somewhere in the update, but I got carried away by a different thread. Speaking of which, a particular droid character gave me some extra trouble so I hope you'll appreciate the end result.

You approach the IMPERIAL TROOPER and, like a PROPER BADASS who doesn't really care too much, say: "Keelah se'lai, b*tch."

DONNELY: "It's actually pronounced bosh'tet."
DOOP: "I totally knew that. Yes I did."



You introduce yourself as SITH LORDS hailing from the KORRIBAN SITH ACADEMY by SPICING the TALE UP to CHEESEMAKER STATUS.

DOOP: "I am Darth Oreganous, Dark Lord of the Pantry, and this is my smelly assistant, Lord Parmesan the Unseasoned. We're here with fine cheese brought straight from the local k'lor'slug farm on Korriban."
SABER: "Oregano isn't actually cheese."
DOOP: "Silence, Lord Parmesan! My talents obviously surpass the mere ingredient of... cheese."

IMPERIAL TROOPER: "We were kinda hoping for ACTUAL reinforcements, not a relief effort."
DOOP: "You'll get all of that and more if you but agree to buy a whey shipment we were supposed to deliver."
IMPERIAL TROOPER: "You know what all this sounds like? It sounds like bantha poodoo. I'll even bring my translator droid to confirm it!"
DOOP: "Do it, punk."



A wild EDI appears! The CAMEO is now COMPLETE.



EDI: "You are lying."

You can't argue with that logic.

Even namedropping GENERAL FUX isn't helping you win any favors. Maybe you should have started with that instead?

What do you do?

 

Thank you for the birthday notes, everyone! It made me want to give you something a little more than just a simple transition scene. I can do smaller updates of ~4 slides a day or bigger segments like these, only somewhat slower. I'm not sure which ones you'd like to see more of, but rest assured that I'll probably never go to either extremes.

I can't top this. I literally can't top this no matter how hard I tried.

A bottle of Scotch says hi!

You decide to TRADE either JEEVES or SABER for EDI (but not both), recognizing her POTENTIAL USEFULNESS as a COMPANION. Plus, compared to that DISCOUNT LOBSTER behind you, her BODY is a DEFINITE IMPROVEMENT!

EDI is OFFENDED that you're OBJECTIFYING her like some SEX OBJECT. You make a REMARK that maybe she should have went with a DIFFERENT BODY instead! GABBY mentions that her OLD APPEARANCE wasn't really BETTER in that regard.

Regardless, you OFFER UP to SELL SABER into SLAVERY because HIS RACE obviously DESERVES IT!

SABER: "That's kinda racist."
DOOP: "Not when you're a race of slavers. Then it's ironic."

The answer is still no.



You ACCUSE the IMPERIAL COMMANDER of being some sort of IMPOSTER merely on the fact that he PREFERS his "HIDE HELMET" option turned off!



Oh, it's just SOME RANDOM SPACE PIMP.



SPACE PIMP SUPREME: "Listen, kid. I know you're new to this kind of adventure, so I'm going to give you a pass. As long as you're on the imperial side here on Dantooine, I don't really give a damn what you do with your spare time."
SABER: "I was Empire before it was cool."
DOOP: "That's nice. Now shut up and let the grown-ups talk."

GABBY: "It's not like you have any choice. As soon as you leave this hangar, you'll have all manner of droids, Republic commandos and local militia shooting at you. Plus, our Chiss allies are starting to ignore our correspondence."
DONNELLY: "Since then, we've tried contacting the Imperial High Command for General Fux's aid! And you know what they gave us!?"



GABBY'S FAITH in HUMOR is in DISARRAY.



You are now PRESENTED with some CONVERSATION OPTIONS. You SHOULD GO pick one of these to determine how this conversation SHOULD GO, because CHOICES MATTER, DAMMIT!



Honestly, not even THE FORCE knows what DIALOGUE CHOICE DOOP picked here.

Probably the WRONG ONE which will result in something TERRIBLE HAPPENING to him. Hopefully not ANOTHER FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.



You now ENTER a LONG CORRIDOR that supposedly leads to the EXIT of this DULL, UNINSPIRED HANGAR of REUSED ASSETS and into the DETAILED WAR-RAVAGED STREETS of KHOONDA.

SABER: "I swear I saw this exact BIBA TREE merely five seconds ago."



...this is an UNUSUALLY LONG CORRIDOR. Which can only mean one thing...

Please don't give us FORCED EXPOSITION BANTER!



FORCE-DAMMIT!

SABER: "So, you're a Jedi?"
DOOP: "I suppose so. I never wanted to be one. It was probably decided by some crummy loser in a half-drunk epiphany."
SABER: "You mean the Force?"
DOOP: "Yeah, let's roll with that instead."

SABER: "What did you want to be, then?"
DOOP: "Wanted to be a banker; go to Mygeeto and join the Banking Clans; live a life you luxury, you know."
SABER: "Why didn't you?"
DOOP: "When you're a Force-sensitive kid, you don't get to choose."

DOOP: "What about you? You're pathetic enough. Why aren't you a Jedi?"
SABER: "Because they're full of sh*t."
DOOP: "On that we can agree."

Probably the ONLY TIME this will EVER HAPPEN.



You've been walking down this corridor for SO LONG that you've now GAINED a LEVEL!

SABER: "Why are there mailboxes every thirty meters or so? I mean, who's there to check all that mail when this place is so BARREN that it's almost IMMERSION-BREAKING!?"



Congratulations! You are now a LEVEL 5 JEDI SENTINAL! You'd actually be EFFECTIVE in playing your CLASS if you HAD some DUAL SABERS, but that's going to be an IMPOSSIBLE TASK, because it seems you can't even get THE ONE working, let alone MORE.

Which attribute point will you be increasing this time?