Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

You THREATEN to UNLEASH LUNK upon the IMPERIALS if they MEDDLE in your ESCAPE ATTEMPT. MELLOW TIME is OVER!

You give LUNK several of your MARSHMALLOWS and order him to BURN THEM in the MOST VIOLENT WAY IMAGINABLE.



LUNK does a MULTITASKING COMBO! Nothing quite like the SMELL of BARBECUED IMPERIAL in the MORNING.



LUNK may have gone TOO FAR in a COUPLE of PLACES. You gain +6 OVERBURNT MARSHMALLOWS, INEDIBLE and SEEMINGLY USELESS.



The NOISE ATTRACTS the ATTENTION of the LOCAL COMMANDO. Everything that has TRANSPIRED has DONE SO according to YOUR DESIGN.



You decide to do the SIMPLE MATTER of UNLEASHING LUNK.



LUNK is VICTORIOUS against REPUBLIC COMMANDO and the IMPERIALS now look at you with SHEER HORROR and DISGUST.



With the IMPERIAL PRESENCE in KHOONDA NEUTRALIZED, you decide to HEAD for the NEAREST EXIT.



THE ADMIRAL is getting TOO TIRED for THIS SH*T.



You are now IRONICALLY located in the FANCY IMPERIAL CAFE, the HEADQUARTERS of the REPUBLIC FORCES on DANTOOINE. Ahead of you are some POTENTIALLY INCRIMINATING DOCUMENTS and an INCONSPICUOUS SHOPPING LIST resting on a CRATE. Oh, and your OLD SNIPER RIFLE is there, as well as MUSCO'S HELMET.

SIS GUY is scheming behind the CABINET and hasn't noticed you yet. A woman from the LOCAL DANTOOINE RESISTANCE, on the other hand, might just notice you if you're not CAREFUL.

What do you do?

 

I'm going to take a wild guess and say that this is the picture we are looking for.



Warning: BIG PICTURE.

 

It happens to the best of us. Especially to fellow yellow mellow fellows.

You inspect the odd assortment of CONFIDENTIAL DOCUMENTS which boils down to some BORING CORRESPONDENCE between SENATOR BRENTIOCH and SIS GUY. Reading through the SHOPPING LIST of this ESTABLISHMENT, on the other hand, reveals that the CHIEF CONTENT of their NERFBURGERS is, in fact, ILLEGAL WOOKIE MEAT!

Why any of this would make any sense whatsoever is another matter entirely. I mean, what's the point in using WOOKIES when NERF MEAT is so COMMON in the galaxy nowadays?

You decide to NOT WASTE further time OVERTHINKING about this REVELATION and instead go for an EAVESDROPPING SESSION with your FORMER MENTOR, SIS GUY.



SIS GUY: "It sure feels nice to be a backstabbing bastard, doesn't it, Jimmy?"
JIMMY: "Sir, I have no idea what you're talking about."
SIS GUY: "The Republic once stood for something, you know... now we're no better than the Imps for lying to these poor civilians."
JIMMY: "You really mean that, sir?"
SIS GUY: "Nah. They're all gullible idiots."
JIMMY: "Hah-hah! Good one, sir!"

JIMMY: "Sir, is it true that your name is literally SIS?"
SIS GUY: "I'm SIS. That's how it's always been."
JIMMY: "Really?"
SIS GUY: "Yes. Do you take me for a man who's capable of lying? I am hurt, lieutenant!"
JIMMY: "But, sir, you pretty much said moments ago..."
SIS GUY: "Now, now, the dark side's in the details!"



TWI'LEK GUY probably wishes he TRIED to make a RUN FOR IT instead of POSING as a CIVILIAN.



JIMMY: "So, sir, do you think we can trust our new Chiss allies?"
SIS GUY: "Of course! Grand Admiral Snote is quite trustworthy!"
JIMMY: "I don't know. He makes me nervous sometimes. He's a BIG GUY."
SIS GUY: "For you."

SIS GUY: "I'm used to big guys by now, so don't worry about it. Snote said he's sending "special help" that will "take care of us".
JIMMY: "Sir, you DO know how that sounds, right?"
SIS GUY: "Yeah, you think I'm kriffing stupid!? He's sending us new waiters! This is a kriffing restaurant, you stupid kriff!"
JIMMY: "Well, I just thought..."
SIS GUY: "I will shoot you! I will kriffing shoot you!"



You LOB an OVERBURNT MARSHMALLOW over the CABINETS to ATTRACT the ATTENTION of the LONESOME COMMANDO. The FOUL STENCH of the MARSHMALLOW prompts him to INVESTIGATE.



He MISTAKES the MARSHMALLOW for SOMETHING ELSE. You CRACK a SMILE at the realization that this went even BETTER than EXPECTED.



You RECOVER your EQUIPMENT SWAG as LUNK places the SAMANTHA TRAYNOR CAMEO in a SLEEPER HOLD.



SAMANTHA falls UNCONSCIOUS.

So much for that cameo...



Oh, CRAP! It looks like the SPECIAL HELP of GRAND ADMIRAL SNOTE has arrived to TAKE CARE of the REPUBLIC NUISANCE.

And by "TAKE CARE" they, of course, mean...



...LITERALLY TAKING CARE of them. Their LEADER, MARK ONE, introduces himself and offers his SERVICES as the GRAND CATERER. Wait, a minute, it looks like LUNK is having a MOMENT.

LUNK, are you OK?



"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"



Geez, that's one PISSED-OFF GUNGAN.

You turn to MUSCO and with a SORROWFUL LOOK come to terms with the FACT that one of you will have to make a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE in DRAWING the ATTENTION away from this SINISTER BAND of EVIL-DOERS whilst the OTHER shoots into the HIGHLY-FLAMMABLE MUSTAFAR MILK resting on SIS GUY'S TABLE.

Musco understands. It is time.



MUSCO makes his presence known to the MEATBAGS as he begins the PAINFUL RECITAL of one of his PERSONAL HK POEMS. Don't trust me? Take a look for yourself.

“My bounty is as boundless as a galaxy,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.”

Hold a moment, he's NOT doing an ORIGINAL PIECE! He's just QUOTING THRAWNSPEARE. That's, like, CHEATING.



You SEIZE this OPPORTUNITY and LINE UP to TAKE a SHOT. The only REASON you're not DEAD is the fact that you're also POINTING the SNIPER RIFLE towards SIS GUY, head of the REPUBLIC EFFORTS here on DANTOOINE.



Will you do it? Will you SHOOT FIRST and CONDEMN MUSCO to CERTAIN DEATH? Or will you SURRENDER PEACEFULLY and STOP FURTHER VIOLENCE? No, wait... that's just retarded. Just IGNORE that second CHOICE even EXISTED.

If you SHOOT FIRST, you will CRIPPLE the REPUBLIC OPERATION here on DANTOOINE for good, but MUSCO probably won't make it to SAFE COVER in TIME. This will PERMANENTLY REMOVE MUSCO as your COMPANION and EXCLUDE you from OBTAINING the HELP of the MILITIA due to them being COLLATERAL DAMAGE.

If you FLEE with MUSCO and LUNK using your CURRENT BARGAINING POWER, you will KEEP BOTH COMPANIONS, but the STRONG REPUBLIC PRESENCE will make it CONSIDERABLY HARDER for MISSY and SABER'S EFFORTS outside KHOONDA. DOOP'S CHANCES of REACHING the MONEY VAULT will remain the same.

Choose carefully. This sequence will start the final events of Act I. There is NO GOING BACK.