Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

Let's face it. There's only one REASONABLE choice to pick and that is GIRLTALK. Congratulations! You have now unlocked the FOLLOWING CONVERSATION TOPIC: SHOPPING. What? Oh, you thought this would actually be a USEFUL ABILITY? No, no, you've got your series all mixed up. This is the "BORDERLINE OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPES" one.



Since the FILLER SCENE has PRETTY MUCH BEEN CLEARED of ANYTHING WORTHWHILE (talk about milking a franchise), the time has come to CROSS THE BRIDGE and head into the DIRECTION of the PLOT.



You are now on board GRABBA'S PLEASURE BARGE in its CENTRAL PART. Above you, some individuals are dancing VERY SLEAZILY. It's a shame you can't SEE the fine animations on this, but alas... you know how BUDGET CONSTRAINTS work. FAKE-RATCHET is now even closer to her ORIGINAL FORM. At this rate, you better hope she LIKES SHOPPING.

REAL RATCHET must be SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE. It is time to MINGLE your way through the party to find her.

What do you do?

 

Not an update per-se, but...




...this is a thing. As we continue to develop the new series, the Toydarian will get more complex in background texture - like the old series above it. This is, after all, a team effort and you get to decide just how funny, epic or dramatic something is going to be.

The next update will be on scheduled time - until then, feel free to squeeze in a suggestion or two!

 

"Hi, I'm Darth Saber and welcome to Jackass!"



Well, you've officially ruined the party. Congratulations!

MATT, the NEW RADAR TECHNICIAN of the RUST LEGION gives you a thumbs up. He didn't like those posers anyway. He admits that you have TRUE STYLE and SUBSTANTIAL DANCE TALENT, though coming from the PASTIEST WHITE GUY you've ever met, you're not sure if you're supposed to take this as a GOOD THING.



Returning to the business at hand, you decide to ask the LOCAL COMMANDER, once a FAMOUS HOLONET TROLL best known for clogging the PRIVATE GOVERNMENTAL FORUMS of RATTATAK with FIVE HUNDRED PAGES of SITHPOSTING, a HUMBLE GUY named CANCEROUS ORDO as to the whereabouts of RATCHET.

"Oh, you're looking for a Ratchet?"

"That is correct."

"Well... there are a lot of ratchet girls around here."

Frustrated by his DEADPAN DELIVERY, you decide to press the matter further.

"No, no, I'm looking for THE RATCHET."

"In that case, she'll be here soon. I'll send word personally."

What's this? ACTUAL PROGRESS? You decide to celebrate by challenging the HELMETED MANDALORIAN over there to a DRINKING CONTEST.



He demonstrates why this isn't such a BRIGHT IDEA. REPEATEDLY.



With CANCEROUS sending word for RATCHET, you decide to join the ARMORED CHICK by the LONESOME TABLE. You settle for using your NEWFOUND GIRLTALK ABILITY, "SHOPPING", on her.



"Hi! Clunky armor keeping your endurance down? You feel such a stunning bounty hunter such as yourself and your targets deserve better? Look no further than MR. SABER'S ARMOR CLEANSER, the finest product for that alluring sheen polish in the entire galaxy. It's so good; it even cleanses the dark side itself! One hundred percent Ziostian!"



The ARMORED CHICK likes what you're offering. MATT is being a TOTAL BRO and gives you ANOTHER THUMBS UP. You realize you've NEVER ACTUALLY GOTTEN THIS FAR with a GIRL before. She introduces herself as "THE QUIRK" and asks for the STANDARD PRICE of ONE MR. SABER'S CLEANSER.

Hang on just a second here... THE QUIRK!?



The ARMOR. The NICKNAME. It ALL ADDS UP! THE QUIRK and THE FLUKE must be related in SOME WAY! You need to find a means to extract the LOCATION of the FLUKE from her, SHE HAS TO KNOW.

It's all come down to this. This is what your evening has been building up to. Best not screw this up, or your reputation will suffer. DEVASTATINGLY SO.

With that said...

What do you do?

 

You are pretty sure the DANCE FLOOR is EFFECTIVELY DEAD after what you PULLED.

"The standard price for a bottle is 500 credits... but wait, that's not everything! If you order in bulk, you get triple the amount for the same cost. Not only that, but it will also be delivered to your place of residence within one planetary rotation!"

You offer to discuss the BORING DETAILS of this arrangement IN PRIVATE.

The QUIRK is amazed by the MIND-NUMBINGLY CHEAP DEAL you've proposed and lists her ship, THE CENTENNIAL TURKEY, as her current place of residence. She decides to take the offer and show you around the ship once the party here formally ends.

You gift her with a COMPLEMENTARY BOTTLE for a SUCCESSFULLY-STRUCK BARGAIN.



Who would have thought you'd actually acquire a COMPANION with a BOTTLE of AEROSOL?



Congratulations! You now have TWO POTENTIAL COMPANIONS.

FAKE-RATCHET apparently doesn't count, on account of her NOT BEING GENUINE and all.



As a bonus, you convince MATT to join your GROWING ENTERPRISE as JUNIOR PARTNER.

He give you his THIRD and LAST THUMBS UP. Geez, it's like he doesn't know any other gesture. He leaves to MAKE PREPARATIONS as you enjoy your greatest streak of success since the ACADEMY DAYS.



FAKE-RATCHET, on the other hand, decides to actually move this story FORWARD and HEADS to the LEFT SIDE of the barge. You and THE QUIRK follow.



You are now at the front end of GRABBA'S BARGE and... BY THE FORCE, THAT RATCHETY GIRL JUST COMMITTED SUICIDE! It looks like your DANCING SKILLS have left quite the mark on others. WELL DONE!

FAKE-RATCHET has returned to her ORIGINAL LOOK. Apparently, she also lead you to the WRONG PART of the ship and instead of moving the story forward, she derailed it even further as a result. You realize that you've also failed in finding out a connection between THE QUIRK and THE FLUKE meaning that you...

"He's my brother."

WELL, THEN.



FAKE-RATCHET asks THE QUIRK on the current whereabouts of her brother. THE QUIRK happily reveals that THE FLUKE is currently located inside a SHADY APARTMENT. Sounds like a nice place, doesn't it?

Now all that's left is to wait for Ratchet to arrive. You can GO BACK to the central part of the barge or you can CONTINUE MINGLING here doing whatever the hell you want.

What do you do?