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Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

Discussion in 'Star Wars: Paint Adventures' started by Alamact, Feb 21, 2016.

  1. KyloRevan

    KyloRevan Clone

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    Talk to Cancerous Ordo, and attempt to figure out what you can do with your newfound HONOUR™. Is it a premium currency? Is there a special vendor somewhere? If so, you definitely need to buy some Mando armor.
     
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  2. KesselRunner

    KesselRunner Rebel General

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    You must JUBILATE FESTIVELY, of course. Or buy some BOOZE and look for GIRLS. Either one. Or both...
     
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  3. DarthFather

    DarthFather Rebelscum

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    Go to OLD BARTENDER to take some booze for POOR CLANKUS, and listen what is going on with that lost helmet. That MANDALORIAN look pretty sad without his HELMET. Maybe you get some credits and influence with MANDALORIANS too.
     
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  4. Voxx

    Voxx Jedi Hero of Legend

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    Get ye FLASK.
     
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  5. Pomojema

    Pomojema Ayatollah Of Rock-&-Rolla
    Staff Member

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    ...You can't get ye FLASK!
     
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  6. Alamact

    Alamact Demon of the Trident
    1030th Commander *** (Mod)

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    [​IMG]

    You DECIDE to FIND OUT whether or not HONOURE™ is WORTH a DAMN and ASK CANCEROUS to provide you a LIST of EXCLUSIVE EXQUISITE ITEMS you can PURCHASE with it. Cancerous is HAPPY to OBLIGE and LISTS a PERSONALIZED MANDALORIAN HELMET for the MEAGER SUM of 100 HONOURE.

    [​IMG]

    The SECOND ITEM on the LIST is an ULTRA-RARE WHITE LIGHTSABER CRYSTAL, also known as the "SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE". It USUALLY goes for about a THOUSAND HONOURE with MOST MANDALORIAN VENDORS.

    MANDALORIAN EXTRA #3 tells you of a THIRD, SUPER SECRET ITEM that goes for FIVE THOUSAND HONOURE. If you can EVEN FIND IT, the ITEM would be listed as EXTREMELY MANLY UNDERWEAR FEATURING CANCEROUS striking a POSE alongside his BROTHERS with the WORDS "VODE AN" engraved in pure BESKAR. Cancerous clarifies that he too, was YOUNG and STUPID once in his LIFE.

    They both explain that you can ONLY exchange these GOODS at the HONOUR STATION above the planet of MANDALORE.

    [​IMG]

    For your PREVIOUS HEROICS, CANCEROUS bestows upon you 50 HONOURE, meaning that even if you DECIDE to VISIT MANDALORE at SOME POINT, you can't BUY a THING! Thanks a lot, CANCEROUS!

    Since you had -50 HONOURE prior to this, your TOTAL SUM would EQUAL to ZERO. Congratulations! You are no longer known as DOOP the DISHONORABLE. Your new TITLE is DOOP the UNREMARKABLE!

    Oh, the JOY...

    Meanwhile, CLANKUS puts an END to MATT'S DANCING. ALMOST PERMANENTLY.

    [​IMG]

    Since you had quite enough of MANDALORIAN HONOURE SCAMS, you head towards the BARTENDER of this FINE ESTABLISHMENT for GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS BOOZE! You even open up your PERSONAL FLASK of SENTIMENTAL VALUE that your UNCLE FLAPPY gave you when you LEFT for the JEDI ORDER. If you THINK ABOUT IT, that FLASK looks EXTRA CHEAP and TREMENDOUSLY UGLY, your UNCLE probably FOUND IT in a DUMPSTER or SOMETHING. SEEMS like a TYPICAL TOYDARIAN THING to DO...

    [​IMG]

    The BARTENDER introduces HIMSELF as TAPP STURR and he starts COMPLAINING about some DARN KID who STOLE his HELMET.

    Oh no! You are NOT GETTING YOURSELF into THIS! DOOP KNOWS a DAILY QUEST when he SEES ONE!

    TAPP STURR SCOFFS at your IGNORANT INDIFFERENCE to his TERRIBLE WOES and DEVOLVES into RECOLLECTING his YOUNGER DAYS.

    No... NOT ANOTHER ONE!

    [​IMG]

    It's FLASHBACK TIME!

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    [​IMG]

    "I used to KNOW the OUTLAWS from that BOUNTY over there LONG BEFORE they became the MOST WANTED FOLKS in the SECTOR. First time I met MYNOCK was YEARS AGO. He was just some PO-DUNK LOSER looking to TURN HIS GARBAGE LIFE AROUND. We didn't really GET ALONG, but we made a good enough TEAM. I was a TROOPER and he was an ACCOUNTANT, but in our minds, we were FEARLESS OUTLAWS."

    [​IMG]

    "We met a MIRIALAN BOUNTY HUNTER named KESTREL. She'd been EXILED by the EMPIRE for having a CONSCIENCE or something. I don't know, she was an alien so I only really listened to the things she said a quarter of the time."

    [​IMG]

    "We had some folks on our tail for a while. Set out on more than one quest for vengeance, justice, or just generally saving the galaxy. Caught the attention of some bad folks. They shouldn't have caught ours."

    [​IMG]

    "As you might imagine, we went around the galaxy pissing off just about everyone we could find and more often than not, ended up paying for it."

    [​IMG]

    "But we all STUCK TOGETHER for a while. Got pretty close, watched each others' backs. We never really made all that much MONEY, but I guess we weren't really in it for the MONEY to begin with."

    [​IMG]

    "Eventually, we got our hands on something everyone wanted, and nobody should have had. Pissed a lot of people off. Garnered quite a bit of infamy, some of it deserved."

    [​IMG]

    "But ultimately, we got ourselves into MASSIVE TROUBLE, far more than we ever should have tempted... and no one walked away the same after that."

    [​IMG]

    TROOH PERR fills up your FLASK which is slowly starting to RESEMBLE a HEALTH POTION as he FINISHES UP his story. You feel this PROBABLY isn't the FIRST TIME he told ANYONE about his LONG, BORING, POINTLESS TALE and that he isn't QUITE RIGHT in the HEAD.

    "He's got ALZHEIMER'S."

    You TURN AROUND to face the person who told you this to find a MYSTERIOUS WOMAN ENTERING the BAR.

    What do you do?

    ((In Memoriam Original Series 2010-2012))
     
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  7. Killerbanana16

    Killerbanana16 Rebelscum

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    You don't approach this women because she is your mother.
     
    #167 Killerbanana16, Mar 24, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2016
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  8. DarthFather

    DarthFather Rebelscum

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    You approach her, and ask what nice lady looks for in this RUIN of CANTINA with cheap BOOZE, and cheapest GIRLS.
     
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  9. KesselRunner

    KesselRunner Rebel General

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    You say HELLO and ask her if she KNOWS this OLD COOT. And offer to BUY her some BOOZE.

    *hangs head in a moment of silence* It has been missed.
     
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  10. Voxx

    Voxx Jedi Hero of Legend

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    "Excuse me ma'am, but do you has the times?"
     
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  11. MadsLad

    MadsLad Rebel Official

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    wave to her with a covetous face and offer her a free drink (you are lying of course nothing is free!)
     
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  12. Darth Bob

    Darth Bob Scoundrel

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    Great. You've introduced a new currency. I can see where this is going. It'll be useful until the next chapter, where you'll introduce yet another currency, rendering HONOURE™ completely useless, which will then subsequently be outdated by yet another currency after that, ad infinitum. Next thing we know, we'll be paying RL money in some ORPA FTP scam.

    Not on my watch! /RAGEQUIT!
     
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  13. Alamact

    Alamact Demon of the Trident
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    There goes my TOTALLY UNEXPECTED PUNCHLINE...
    [​IMG]

    You are PRETTY UNANIMOUS when it comes to BOOZE and GIRLS, deciding that the best course of action is to STRIKE UP a CONVERSATION by offering FALSE PROMISES of FREE DRINKS for the mysterious MANDALORIAN GIRL, TOTALLY not putting your newfound alliance AT RISK in DOING SO.

    You ask her for the TIME of DAY, quite POSSIBLY the OLDEST TRICK in the ARCHIVE, and she replies that it is ALWAYS 0:00AM on NAR SHADDAA because the LAZY AUTHOR can't be BOTHERED to make a DAY-NIGHT CYCLE despite being TWO DAYS BEHIND SCHEDULE!

    [​IMG]

    The GIRL introduces herself as RATCHET. The REAL ONE, this time, not that DOOP would KNOW the TRUE DIFFERENCE either way! She met the OLD COOT when CANCEROUS led his WARRIORS to Nar Shaddaa to settle a GRUDGE between him and the RATTATAKI RUST LEGION. Apparently, his DISEASE came shortly after being DISBARRED from the REPUBLIC MILITARY for a MAJOR MISCALCULATION on his PART.

    For what? Ratchet never bothered to ask.

    [​IMG]

    TROOPER asks you to PAY for your HEALTH POTION now, rather than LATER. Some RED, ALIEN TRASH walked out the CANTINA before paying last night! THE OLD COOT may be SUFFERING from MEMORY LOSS, but he takes his PAYMENTS very SERIOUSLY.

    You decide to PAY for the DRINK, LOSING 15 CREDITS in the process!

    I know, I know, you're about to say: "BOO! CHARACTER ASSASSINATION! HANG the BLASPHEMOUS AUTHOR! DOOP would NEVER WILLINGLY part with a SINGLE CREDIT!"

    But consider the following...

    [​IMG]

    DOOP is ADAPTABLE! DOOP trades in his FIFTEEN CREDITS for the RESPECTABLE SUM of TEN HONOURE™ because he HONORABLY paid for his DRINKS. DOOP understands the POTENTIAL VALUE of this NEW CURRENCY which will in no way become DEFUNCT in the NEAR FUTURE!

    [​IMG]

    CANCEROUS has a PLAN! And he wants YOU to be a PART of it!

    [​IMG]

    He hands you SOME SORT of CHEAPLY PRINTED PAMPHLET made with TOILET PAPER ROLLS, and not even the SILKY SMOOTH TRIPLE-LAYERED KIND they ADVERTISE on the HOLONET!

    You take the PAMPHLET in SLIGHT DISGUST.

    [​IMG]

    Congratulations! You have been invited to join the MANDALORIANS for an AMBITIOUS RAID on GRABBA'S MAJESTIC PALACE! The time has come to take the FIGHT to the FAT-MOUTHED SLUG himself!

    [​IMG]

    Aaaand there goes the CHEAPLY-MADE CLIFFHANGER! Because a FILLER EPISODE featuring POINTLESS MEANDERING throughout EMPTY, STERILE SCENES, trudging through TWO USELESS FLASHBACKS that have no BEARING on the PLOT whatsoever and having so much FAN SERVICE that even the OLD FANS are NO LONGER FANS, can reasonably only end this way!

    [​IMG]

    Chapter 3: Severe Punishments

    [​IMG]

    Oh what? You were expecting to CONTINUE the NAR SHADDAA STORYLINE? WELL, TOO BAD! It's BLUEBALLS TIME!

    You are now a CHISS SCIENTIST (see MAJOR DORK) stationed aboard the FLAGSHIP of GRAND ADMIRAL SNOTE. You are a PRETTY POSH GIRL, a PROPER CHISS LADY through and through, yet your PEERS don't really APPRECIATE your WORK. Your STUDIOS BREAKTHROUGHS in science are constantly being MARGINALIZED in favor of creating ADDITIONAL PISS-POOR models of INEFFECTIVE FIREARMS.

    But one day, you'll show them! Yes you will! Firstly, however...

    What is thy name?
     
    #173 Alamact, Mar 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2017
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  14. Darth Bob

    Darth Bob Scoundrel

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    Missth'raw'nuruondo. Nickname... Missy (bet you didn't see that one coming).
     
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  15. FN-3263827

    FN-3263827 First Order, Then Pie
    1030th Commander *** (Mod)

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    the only really appropriate name for "pretty, posh and proper":

    Crotch Lumbo.
     
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  16. Alamact

    Alamact Demon of the Trident
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    [​IMG]

    Another character; another logo update! Looks like our main trio is starting to shape up.
     
    #176 Alamact, Mar 26, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2016
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  17. Lankist

    Lankist Rebel Trooper

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    Red.

    Your parents weren't fond of you.
     
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  18. Darth Bob

    Darth Bob Scoundrel

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    I withdraw my suggestion and endorse this.
     
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  19. Alamact

    Alamact Demon of the Trident
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    Burst out laughing when I saw this.

    [​IMG]

    Your name is MISSTH'RAW'NURUODO, because this is SUDDENLY an unquestionably LORE-SERIOUS SERIES that takes its LORE VERY SERIOUSLY, yet even the CHISS are tired of pronouncing these OVERLONG names and thus you are relegated to a SIMPLE "MISSY". You've been GOBSMACKED by the sciences ever since you were a WEE TODDLER back on your BELOVED frozen homeworld of CSILLA and this is your GRAND OPPORTUNITY to KNOCK UP your latest experiment with all the RESOURCES you could possibly NEED.

    While your FAMILY MEMBERS were PROPER OLD CHAPS, you find the OFFICERS posted here a tad on the KNOB-GAGGING SIDE, while the rest of them are CLEARLY and UTTERLY COMPLETE UNPRODUCTIVE DOSSERS.

    [​IMG]

    But no MATTER, you've DECIDED to KEEP YOUR CHIN UP in spite of your CURRENT PREDICAMENT.

    What scientific project have you been working on outside your ship duties?
     
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  20. KesselRunner

    KesselRunner Rebel General

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    You have been working on the BIOLOGICAL REGENERATION properties of a new type of CYBORG IMPLANT that your people have been developing. Fortunately, there is a recently dead CORPSE handy so that you can proceed with your EXPERIMENTS.
     
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