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HUMOR Leaked Episode IX Script!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker' started by metadude, Jun 29, 2018.

  1. metadude

    metadude Rebelscum

    Jun 5, 2018
    Likes Received:
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    +654 / 11 / -5
    Hey everyone. I tried to put a question mark next to the thread category but there was none.

    So I've decided to leak an Episode IX script online. I can't vouch for how legit it actually is. So far, I've only got some basic parts, he says he'll attempt to smuggle the rest out when no one is looking. It may be pieces at a time, who knows. All I can tell you is that he is going by the code name A.J. A.J. Abramsay, and that the subject line in his emails is LEGIT! I will split the script by scenes; one scene per post.

    Now I assure you that no one is doing this to, make fun of Star Wars, or, "bash" anyone at all. So please don't read any form of ill-will into it. One of the reasons I think this may in fact be legit is that I have to question; if it is not, who would sit around wasting their time in fabricating something so inconsequential? This person would have to be truly bored out of his mind or, perhaps, it's his way of, decompressing? Trying to provide some sort of comedy relief into a situation? We may never know. It is a mystery. Anyway, I'm not sure of it all. If it is legit, they are certainly taking things in a new direction. Perhaps doubling down on the subversion of expectations?

    I hope that perhaps you may get something out of this. If only the question, "Why?" You may laugh. You may cry. You may be offended. You may be completely indifferent. But, at the end of the day, I believe you will at least have been able to glimpse a corner of a mind. Perhaps not the mind of genius. Perhaps not even the mind of a "Meh" but, a mind, nonetheless. Please beware; possible spoilers ahead.

    Also, whatever your feelings, please refrain from blaming me, I didn't write this. Thank you. And, good luck.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 28, 2018, Original Post Date: Jun 28, 2018 ---


    Kylo lays in bed asleep.

    LEIA (V.O.): Ben.
    KYLO (asleep): Kylo.
    LEIA (V.O.): I'm sorry Ben.

    Kylo twists and turns uncomfortably.

    KYLO: Hate Ben.
    LEIA (V.O.): Good bye son.
    KYLO: Ben.
    LEIA (V.O.): Momma loves her baby boy.
    KYLO: Stupid.

    Kylo's eyes flash open.

    KYLO: Mother.

    Kylo sits up in the bed. He looks around. He clutches at his chest.

    KYLO: Mother. I sense...

    Kylo gets out of bed.

    KYLO: Oh no.

    Kylo falls to the ground. He contorts, then becomes still. He writhes.

    KYLO: Oh not momma. Oh. Oh. Oh it hurts. It's hurting.

    Kylo strains to stand.

    KYLO (angry): No. I am dark side. I am dark side. Don't care. I am dark side I am dark side I am dark side.

    Kylo collapses onto the floor again. He writhes.

    KYLO: Oh hurts. Oh momma. Not momma. Oh please not momma. Oh it's coming. It's coming on. It's hitting Kylo. Oh it's hitting your boy. Oh your boy. Oh Kylo's hurting. Kylo's in pain. Kylo's in pain. Kylo... pain...

    Kylo begins to sob uncontrollably.


    Two First Order guards stand at the door. Over an intercom a song can be heard playing softly through the corridor to the tune of the Imperial March. The words sing: Kylo Ren leads the First Order now. Kylo Ren is Supreme Leader now. Kylo will be victorious. His rule will be glorious. So say all of us, every one.

    Kylo's muffled sobs can be heard from within his quarters. The two guards look at one another. One turns and taps on the door.

    GUARD #1: Everything alright in there, Supreme Leader?


    Close up as Kylo raises his head. His face is contorted, his eyes welled with tears. He wipes furiously at his eyes.

    KYLO: Of course everything is alright in here!


    The door to Kylo's quarters open. The two guards fall back into position. Kylo emerges from the room.

    KYLO: Why? What do you think you heard?
    GUARD #1: Nothing but the sounds of pure darkness, Supreme Leader.
    KYLO: Yes. That's what it was. The sounds of pure darkness.
    GUARD #1: Absolutely, Supreme Leader.

    Kylo looks at the two guards.

    KYLO: Not that it matters, but how dark would you say that I am?
    GUARD #2: Very dark, Supreme Leader.
    GUARD #1: Intensely dark, Supreme Leader.
    GUARD #2: Not that it matters, Supreme Leader.

    Kylo walks across the corridor to look out a large window in the hull.

    KYLO: No. It doesn't.
    GUARD #1: You're so dark, it's like, how much more dark could you be?
    GUARD #2: And the answer is, none.
    GUARD #1: None more dark, Supreme Leader.

    Kylo lifts his chin with pride as he gazes out the window.

    KYLO (whispering to self in satisfaction): None more dark.

    Kylo turns to the two guards.

    KYLO: Alert General Hux that his presence is commanded on the bridge in thirty minutes. I have a plan to capture the Falcon and end the Resistance once and for all. Soon, the First Order will reign supreme and unchallenged. And the girl, Rey, will be my slave to do with as I please.
    GUARD #2: Very dark, Supreme Leader.
    KYLO: I also have new additional lyrical content for the First Order anthem.
    GUARD #1: Brilliant, Supreme Leader.
    KYLO: Yes it is.

    Kylo turns to stride down the corridor. He calls back.

    KYLO: Make that fifteen minutes and I want that anthem volume turned up!
    GUARD #2: At once, Supreme Leader!

    Slant swipe.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 29, 2018 ---


    A lush garden scene. The Falcon sits in the distance. Everyone is seated. Poe emerges from the group to stand upon a slightly raised platform on which sits a proton torpedo casing. Before it, there are framed pictures of Leia, Han, Lor Tekka, Holdo, Ackbar and Luke Skywalker. Luke's picture has a large question mark on it. Holdo's picture is particularly unflattering. Bagpipers stand behind the proton torpedo casing.

    POE: Dearly beloved, we gather here today, to pay our last respects to a great woman. One of the truly great women. One of the few women. Until now. Not now. But then. One of the few. Of the Resistance. And of, before that, the Rebel Alliance. General Leia, was like, a mother to each of us. Mostly. Not all. Finn, didn't know her, really. Many of you never met General Leia. But to you, she was that authority figure as much as to me. Though, sometimes she made some bad calls. For instance, with the bombers. I was demoted for that. But I respected her authority even though, I. Felt otherwise, at times. Like many of us did. You're shaking your heads but you were there. Yes you were. You were there. Okay but this is not the place, nor the time. To, reflect, on our past mistakes. If even they can be called mistakes. Because, what are mistakes? And who is to judge? It's not possible. We don't have the technology.

    Uncertain looks on the groups' faces. They are unsure how to react.

    POE: But Leia, was the icon, to our family. One of them. She was, our fearless leader. Behind whom we would often rally. There was to her, a magical quality. She was able to, talk, and when we were, feeling that hope was lost. She would say, things. And we would, it would, change. Us. Our thinking. She would give us wings, of hope. That we would, soar, with, the, eagle's nest. Like she did. In those, final days. We saw it. Some of you were there. And as she, flew, like, the flying of, a bird, taking flight, through the stars. I can't help but wonder. How, she did. That. Was it the force? Some might say, yes. But, I say, that. It was more. Perhaps, it is not impossible to say, that General Leia. Flew. On the wings of, hope. That, though, is what I am saying. Not to, say it is the truth. But, that. It is, possible. That some. Might agree. That it, is a possibility. Because, if, as the oratio... ators, of old, may themselves have said. That, what is possible if not, that, which is not possible? It is a possiblity.

    Rey looks on with incredulity. She glances at Finn. Finn appears to be responding to Poe's words with solemn agreement, nodding.

    POE: And now, as we lay her to the earth. As we have so many others. Some others. Who came before, and left us before, their time. Though they were, old. So. Perhaps it was time. But as, the, wise people, of the past, who were also old, have said, before leaving us. Time. There is a time. And now is the time. Let us pray.

    They bow their heads.

    POE: God. In your infinite wisdom. You have seen fit to take our beloved Leia home to you. So that she may, fly. Again. On wings. In your heavenly, home. You took her, Lord. Like you did so, some, before. To be with you. As you see, by the photographs, I have placed. Here. From left to right. Leia. Han Solo. Lor Tekka. Holdo. (he pauses) Though. That was a suicide so. Tricky. (he continues) Ackbar. (he pauses again) Funny that name would follow Holdo. But. I didn't plan that. (he continues) But if he is there, Lord, or if there is a different heaven, for fish people. Underwater. Who can say? And finally, perhaps Luke Skywalker. But. Lord. We, ask. That you. Find a way. A leader. To replace her. A brave leader. Who is up to, the challenge. Who perhaps has displayed. His. Or her. Ability to. Take charge. Of a situation. One who is. A great. Pilot. Lord. A leader. Who can lead others. When necessary. Even when some people may think that. He was wrong. To do so. But that. Cannot prove. That is, the truth. Because, who can say? But, as it is said. We, are not to question. But to do. As we have done. Bring us that leader. O Lord. From amongst the midst. Of the people. Herein. That. They may. Follow him. Or, her. And he might lead them, to victory. In thy mercy. Amen.

    Poe nods his head solemnly to the gathering, then bows it and steps aside as the bagpipers raise their instruments. Suddenly, Rose Tico emerges from the group, to stand on the torpedo casing platform.

    ROSE: If I could say something.

    Poe smiles and nods approvingly.

    ROSE: Okay I just, really think that. Finn should be the leader now. After all, he's got...
    POE (stepping forward to interrupt): Whoa whoa! Okay! Really? Rose? Seriously? This is not the time or the place for this kind of talk. Okay? I'm surprised at you.
    ROSE: But, you were doing the same thing.
    POE (laughing): What? No. No. I was giving the eulelogacy. Okay? Big difference. That was appropriate. That's what you do at a funeral. Okay? This little thing you're doing? Not appropriate. I mean, do you have no sense of ... of ... tact? Just in really bad taste, Rose. Really disappointing.
    ROSE: But you...
    POE: Took charge. I took charge, Rose. I was doing what any serious candidate for leader would do. I mean, seriously, Finn? Are you kidding me? The guy's done nothing but... you know what? No. We're not doing this.

    Poe starts pushing Rose away from the proton torpedo casing and off of the platform.

    ROSE (resisting): What... take your hands... what are you...
    POE: I'm taking charge, honey. That's what born leaders do!
    ROSE: If you...

    Poe gestures at the bagpipers who begin playing Amazing Grace, drowning out Rose's protests. She is gently escorted away, as Poe looks on the confused and muttering crowd.

    POE (shaking his head): Unbelievable.

    Swipe from bottom.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 29, 2018 ---


    Rey sits on a bed. An open book floats in the air before her. As she reads the contents, she motions slowly with an open hand as she closes her eyes. Motes of green-gold light begin to swirl around her hand, moving down her arm. Suddenly, across the room, the hooded force ghost of Luke Skywalker appears. He observes her for a moment.

    LUKE: Rey.

    Rey opens her eyes in surprise, the motes of light vanish and the book falls onto the bed. She sees Luke and springs from the bed toward him.

    REY: Master Skywalker! How? Where are you? Is this really you?
    LUKE: It is, Rey. I am now one with the force.
    REY: One with the force?
    LUKE: I am more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
    REY: Oh but that's brilliant! You can help us defeat the First Order!
    LUKE: Well, no. I can't actually do that.
    REY: But with your power?
    LUKE: It doesn't work that way.
    REY: But what way?
    LUKE: For instance, I can appear anywhere in the galaxy at a whim.
    REY: Oh you can appear on the First Order command ships! Gain vital sensitive information! Act as a spy!
    LUKE: Uh not quite, no.
    REY: But then, what?
    LUKE: Basically you're looking at it.
    REY: Forgive me for saying, but that doesn't seem very powerful.

    Luke squints his eyes in thought.

    LUKE: Huh. Yeah I guess you're right.

    Suddenly Kylo Ren appears on the other side of the quarters. Rey turns and sees him.

    KYLO (surprised): It appears our force connection is still in operation after all.
    REY: Ha! You're sorry now! You failed and Master Skywalker lives!
    KYLO: What do you mean?
    REY: You see him right here don't you?
    KYLO: No.
    LUKE: He can't see me, Rey. Only you can see me.
    REY: Oh. (to Kylo): Only I can see him, but he's here. He's one with the force!
    KYLO: Nonsense. You're making it up.
    REY: I am not making it up! He's here in this very room, right next to me.
    KYLO: You're hallucinating.
    REY: I am not!
    LUKE: Tell him about the Twi'lek dancing girls hologram I caught him with.
    REY: You were caught with a Twi'lek dancing girls hologram by Luke!
    KYLO (angry): That's personal!
    LUKE: Tell him how I replaced the Twi'lek girls with Gamorreans.
    REY: He replaced the Twi'lek girls...
    KYLO: Silence! You will be silent!
    REY: Ha! You're found out now, pervert!

    The door opens and Finn enters.

    FINN: Rey? Is everything...

    Finn sees Kylo.

    KYLO (to Finn): Traitor!
    FINN (to Kylo): You're the traitor!
    KYLO: That doesn't even make sense!
    FINN: You betrayed Luke Skywalker!
    KYLO: That doesn't count!
    REY (to Finn): Finn, Master Skywalker is here!
    KYLO (to Finn): Luke Skywalker betrayed me first! (to Rey): Tell him Rey! About Luke!
    FINN (looking around): Where?
    KYLO (to Finn): The closet.

    Finn steps toward the closet. Rey stops him. Kylo laughs.

    KYLO: You're so dumb.
    FINN: You're a jerk!
    KYLO: You're the jerk, jerkface!
    REY (to Finn): Ignore him.
    FINN (to Rey): Is Luke here?
    REY: Yes; you can't see him but I can, he's one with the force now!
    KYLO (to Finn): She's making it up!
    REY (to Kylo): I am not!
    LUKE: Rey.
    FINN: What does he look like?
    REY (to Finn): The same but with a blue glow!
    KYLO (to Finn): She's delusional.
    REY (to Kylo): I am not delusional!
    KYLO (to Finn): She is.
    FINN (confused): I... I...
    LUKE: Rey, listen to me.
    KYLO (to Finn): She's having a nervous breakdown.
    REY (to Kylo): Shut up! (to Finn): I know it's really Luke because of the Twi'lek girl porn!
    FINN (his interest increases): What Twi'lek girl porn?
    KYLO (to Finn): Traitor pervert!
    REY (to Kylo): You're the pervert, pervert!
    KYLO (to Rey): I'm not the one having delusions!
    REY: You're the one that doesn't make sense!
    FINN (to Rey): What about this Twi'lek porn? Luke was into Twi'lek porn?
    KYLO (to Finn): That's right! He was an old pervert!
    LUKE: Tell him it wasn't mine, Rey.
    REY (to Finn): No. No it wasn't his.
    FINN (to Rey): Kylo's?
    KYLO (to Finn): It was Luke's!
    LUKE: Tell him, Rey.
    REY (to Finn): It wasn't Luke's.
    KYLO (to Finn): It wasn't mine. (to Rey): Tell Luke it was Slung's just like I said back then.
    REY (to Luke): He says it was Slung's.
    LUKE: I can hear what he's saying, Rey.
    REY (to Kylo): He can hear what you're saying.
    KYLO (to Luke): I told you it was Slung's, I told you that!
    LUKE: Tell him I don't want to hear his excuses.
    REY (to Kylo): He doesn't want to hear excuses!
    FINN (to Luke): Luke? Are you there?
    KYLO (to Rey): That's because he doesn't want the truth!
    FINN (to Luke): Can you hear me?
    REY (to Luke): He said...
    LUKE: I know I heard him.
    FINN (to Rey): Can he hear me?
    REY (to Luke): Can you hear Finn?
    KYLO (to Rey): Who cares if he can hear the traitor pervert why is he even in here?!
    REY (to Kylo): Why are you even in here?!
    LUKE: I can hear Finn.
    KYLO (to Rey): I didn't choose to be here!
    REY (to Kylo): Well I didn't choose you to be here either! (to Finn): He can hear you.
    FINN: Why can't I hear him? I can hear Kylo, but not him?
    REY (to Luke): Why can't Finn hear you?
    LUKE: It's not important Rey.
    FINN: It doesn't make sense.
    REY (to Luke): He says it...
    LUKE (rubbing his eyes): It doesn't have to make sense.
    REY (to Finn): It doesn't have to make sense.
    KYLO: Do you hear yourselves?! You sound like lunatics!
    REY: You're the lunatic!
    FINN (to Rey): Okay so it was Kylo's Twi'lek porn?
    REY (to Finn): Yeah, Luke caught Kylo with it during his training! He's sick!
    KYLO (to Rey): That was a long time ago!
    LUKE: Look, Rey. You need to go to the church of the force on Jakku.
    REY (to Luke): Jakku?!
    LUKE: Don't...
    FINN (to Rey): Jakku?
    KYLO: Jakku? (to Rey): Is that where you're headed? Jakku?
    REY (to Kylo): N.. no.
    KYLO: Ha! Now your failure is complete!
    REY: You're the failure!
    KYLO: Uh yeah, like I just gave away my next move!
    REY: Uh yeah, I beat you in the duel!
    KYLO (to Finn): That's a lie! (to Rey): I won that duel and you know it!
    REY (to Kylo): Finn was there!
    KYLO: He was unconscious he didn't see anything!
    REY: You're just mad because you were beaten by a girl!
    KYLO: You didn't beat me, you didn't win, that was a tie!
    REY: Oh big bad dark side got beat by a girl!
    KYLO: I was bleeding out!
    LUKE (running his hands down his face): Rey, focus.
    REY: Yeah, and I woke up first the second time, that's two wins!
    KYLO: That doesn't count! Waking first isn't a win, Rey!
    REY: Back to back!
    KYLO: You can't count that as a win! Rey, you can't count that!
    REY: I won back to back!
    KYLO You can't count that as a win!
    REY (victory dancing): Back to back! Back to back!
    KYLO (sputtering): ...
    REY: There! Now I've won the argument!
    KYLO (furiously struggling for words): ...
    REY: Beaten again!
    LUKE (massaging his temples): Rey.
    REY (victory dancing): Back to back! Back to back!

    Kylo screams furiously causing both Finn and Luke to start and look at him.

    REY (louder, still victory dancing): Back to back! Uh-huh! Back to back! Uh-huh! Back to back!
    KYLO (he times his word to fall between Rey's 'Back to back'): Not! Not! Not!
    LUKE (shouting in frustration): Rey please! (he quickly regains his composure): Rey.
    REY (to Luke): Yes, Master Skywalker?
    LUKE: You must go to Jakku, and speak with Laren Sen Tekka.
    REY (to Luke): At once, Master Skywalker!

    Luke vanishes.

    KYLO: What did he say? What did he tell you?
    REY: Ha! You're beaten now!
    KYLO: What did he say to you?

    Kylo extends his hand in a force maneuver.

    KYLO: You will tell me what he said to you.
    REY (laughs): Keep your filthy hand to yourself, pervert!
    KYLO: You are an idiot!
    REY (to Finn): Let's go.
    KYLO: Don't you walk out on me!
    REY (to Kylo): Here comes the threepeat, pervert!
    KYLO: You did not win those duels!

    Finn and Rey exit the room. Rey is victory dancing her way through the exit.

    REY: Back to back! Uh-huh! Back to back! Uh-huh!

    The door closes.

    KYLO: Come back here! Come back here and face me! You did not win those duels!

    Kylo drops his hands to his sides. He clenches his fists. He turns to his left and speaks to someone out of view.

    KYLO: Set course for Jakku.

    Close up as Kylo turns to look toward the closed door.

    KYLO: I swear I am going to spank that girl so freaking hard her midichlorians are going to be sore for a week.

    He stands silently for a moment then looks around.

    KYLO (angry): Why am I still here?!

    Slant swipe.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 29, 2018 ---


    The Falcon's landing ramp lowers. Rey, Finn and Poe walk down.

    POE: You sure you can find him? We're running out of time.
    REY: The force will guide us.
    FINN: Look, there's some sentries over there.
    POE: They probably know where to find Administrator Calrissian.
    FINN: I'll go find out.

    Finn runs toward the sentries. Chewie calls out from the top of the landing ramp.

    CHEWIE: You sure you don't want me to tag along? Lando and I go back.
    REY: No, I need you and BB-8 to figure out what's wrong with the hyperdrive and get us running again so we can make up lost time. I'm sure Lando won't be a problem.
    CHEWIE: If you say so. Good luck.
    REY: Thanks.
    POE: And you understand him?
    REY: Mostly.

    Finn comes back. He's holding a datapad.

    REY: What's that?
    FINN: Sentries gave me this locator. Punched in some numbers and said to follow the directions and we'd find him there.

    Finn points at a location on the locator pad.

    POE: Looks like a small establishment. You're sure he'll be there?
    FINN: That's what they said. He's always there.
    REY: Must be an office of some sort. Okay, let's go. I guess technology will guide us.
    POE: See you when you get back.
    REY: With a working hyperdrive, hopefully!
    POE: You can count on it.

    Rey and Finn walk through the streets of the city. They wind up at a building with a flashing sign.

    REY: This is the place. Not an office.
    FINN: I've got a bad feeling about this.

    They enter.


    Rey and Finn enter the cantina. It is large, half capacity and mildly noisy. A band plays alien music.

    BARTENDER (pointing): Hey! We don't serve their kind in here!

    Rey looks at Finn.

    REY (aghast): Now see here, he's...
    BARTENDER: Your droid! He'll have to wait outside!

    Rey looks confused. She turns to see a man with a droid has entered the cantina behind them. The droid leaves the cantina.

    REY: False alarm.
    FINN: Why did you look at me like that?
    REY: I thought he was talking about you.
    FINN: Why would you think he was talking about me?
    REY: Why would I think he was talking about you?
    FINN: That's what I asked.
    REY: Well because you're...
    FINN (crossing arms): Because I'm what?
    REY (smiles): Well, you know...
    FINN: I know, what?

    Rey pauses and smiles.

    REY: Because you were a stormtrooper. That's why.
    FINN: But he wouldn't know that.
    REY (smiling): Exactly why I thought that it makes no sense, that he would know. Which is why I was shocked.
    FINN (skeptical): Really? That's what you thought?
    REY: Of course that's what I thought. That's why I spoke up because you're like a brother... but, not that kind of brother...
    FINN: What kind of brother?
    REY (smiling): I meant, not the kind of brother like...
    FINN: Like?

    Rey pauses again.

    REY: I'm so sorry.

    Rey waves her hand.

    REY: Everything is fine.
    FINN (droning): Everything is fine.
    REY: This conversation never happened.
    FINN: This conversation never happened.
    REY: Let's find Lando.
    FINN: Let's find Lando.

    Rey and Finn walk up to the bar.

    REY: Excuse me, sir.

    The bartender looks up but says nothing.

    FINN: We're looking for Administrator Lando Calrissian. We were told he'd be here.
    BARTENDER (laughing): That's him over there. The "Administrator".

    The bartender points at a lone figure in a corner of the cantina. Rey and Finn walk over. Lando is sitting at the table, he is hunched over a pint of whiskey.

    REY: Lando Calrissian?
    LANDO: Who want to know?
    REY: My name is Rey. Luke Skywalker sent me to find you. The Resistance needs you.
    FINN: It's a pleasure to meet you General Calrissian. I... I mean, we... huge fans. Your maneuver at the Battle of T...
    LANDO: Buy me a whiskey then.
    FINN: Pardon?
    LANDO: Bring me a whiskey boy!
    REY: Get him a whiskey.
    FINN: Uh... yeah. Okay.

    Finn walks away.

    REY: General Calrissian, are you able to stand and walk?
    LANDO: Do it look like I can stand and walk?
    REY: It's just that we're in a race against time and we...
    LANDO: Oh you in a race against time huh?
    REY: Yes. It's important that we...
    LANDO: Well let me tell you something darlin, time gonn win that one. It alway do. Looky here at me.
    REY: Lando...
    LANDO: Used to be something, now look at me. We all was something once. Me and Han. Leier and Ole Luke Skywalker.
    REY: You're still something if you...
    LANDO: Fighting the Empire and blowin up Death Stars, now looky here at me.
    REY: I know.
    LANDO: And Han and Leier done split up causin that devil child a theirs. Han went back to, runnin the contraban.
    REY: Yes. I...
    LANDO: Luke done went off and ain't nobody know where he been.
    REY: Actually I...
    LANDO: Leier done got fat.
    REY: Not fair.
    LANDO: We all failures.
    REY: You're not.
    LANDO: Don't none of em call me none. Don't even know what happened to em, if they still kickin or...
    REY: Chewbacca is still with us.
    LANDO: Girl I don't give no damn about no dog. Point is, I'm done. Go on home. Leave me be.
    REY: But you can begin again.
    LANDO: I can begin again, an I will begin again.
    REY: Really? That's so good to hear.
    LANDO: I plan on beginnin again...

    Finn returns with a fresh pint of whiskey. He hands it to Lando.

    LANDO: Beginnin at the top a the pint!

    Finn casts an unsure look at Rey.

    REY (to Finn): This is just pathetic. He's worse than Luke ever was. Maybe we should just...

    SUDDENLY the sound of blaster fire. The cantina grows quiet. Rey and Finn turn in surprise to see a shadowy figure in the doorway of the cantina. He steps forward into the dim light. He is dressed in Mandalorian armor and is pointing his blaster rifle at Rey and Finn. Lando looks on with glazed eyes.

    VEGA FETT: Hands where I can see them.
    REY: Who are you?
    VEGA FETT: Name's Fett. Vega Fett.
    FINN: The infamous bounty hunter?
    LANDO (surprised): Vega Fett? Of Boba Fett?
    VEGA FETT: My grandfather.
    LANDO: That's impossible I saw your grandaddy fall in a hole and die!
    VEGA FETT: Shows how much you know about clones, you old geezer.
    LANDO: What you talking bout, clones? He were a clone?
    VEGA FETT: That's right. Grandfather cloned himself several times. That Fett in Jabba's palace was Fett number 4. The original Fett was no where near Tatooine the day it all went down.
    LANDO: There too many clones it's confusing.
    VEGA FETT: That's the point.
    LANDO: So he didn't die like a chump?
    VEGA FETT: He lived to hunt bounty many years afterward.
    LANDO: What happened to him?
    VEGA FETT: Fell to his death when his jetpack malfunctioned on Coruscant.
    LANDO: Boy that the same as fallin in a hole! You grandaddy was nothin but a chump, and you...

    Vega Fett blasts Lando in the chest, throwing his lifeless body across the table.

    REY: No!
    FINN: Lando!
    VEGA FETT: Step away from the has-been, traitor.
    FINN: You'll pay for that.
    VEGA FETT (shakes head slowly): I'll get paid for that.
    REY: What are you planning to do with us?
    VEGA FETT: What a bounty hunter always does. Collect. Now, step this way. Kylo Ren is expecting you.

    Rey and Finn exit the cantina under the gun of Vega Fett. Lando lay sprawled across the table in a pool of whiskey. His eyes open wide in shock, a blaster burn smoulders in his chest.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 29, 2018 ---


    A large circular command room with dozens and dozens of monitors along all the entire wall. Many of them are blank. About thirty are showing feeds from the base. A circular command station is in the middle of the room where a single officer sits. Kylo Ren stands, hands behind his back, looking at the various buttons and switches on the command station panels.

    SECURITY OFFICER: Supreme Leader!
    KYLO (looking up and around at the monitors): Is she here?
    SECURITY OFFICER: Just entering the ignition passages, Supreme Leader.
    KYLO: Good.

    Kylo looks at the monitor on which Rey appears. She is wearing the slave bikini, and standing in a corridor junction with her lightsaber ignited. She turns slowly to look down each corridor.

    KYLO: Yes. Perfect. (to Security Officer): Are these recording?
    SECURITY OFFICER: Affirmative, Supreme Leader.
    KYLO (nodding): Excellent.

    Rey runs off the monitor screen, heading down a corridor. Kylo quickly scans the multitude of monitor screens.

    KYLO: Where? Where is she?
    SECURITY OFFICER (pointing at one of the monitors on which we see Rey running down a corridor, away from the camera): There, Supreme Leader.

    Kylo quickly finds the monitor.

    KYLO: Good. Can we ... capture angles both, coming and going?
    SECURITY OFFICER: Supreme Leader?
    KYLO (angry): Can we see her running both toward and away from the cameras how hard is it to understand what I'm saying to you?!
    SECURITY OFFICER: Apologies, Supreme Leader! I can active the redundant...
    KYLO (angry): Active all cameras in the passageways nothing is redundant you fool!
    SECURITY OFFICER: Immediately, Supreme Leader.

    The officer taps some buttons and entire arrays of camera angles flicker onto monitors. We see Rey in multiple monitors from multiple angles. She moves out of one group of monitors and into another where she has entered another larger junction, with many corridors extending off from it. A stormtrooper runs down a corridor toward Rey, blasting. She deflects his blaster fire and does a circle kick to render him neutralized. She closes her eyes for a moment, then quickly moves down another corridor and appears subsequently on four other monitors offering different views, high and low, back and front.

    KYLO: Yes! And these are all recording?
    SECURITY OFFICER: Affirmative, Supreme Leader.
    KYLO: Good. Good. This is perfect.

    The officer slowly turns to glance at Kylo Ren, but immediately turns away and back to the monitors as Ren shoots a look at him.

    KYLO: For purposes. Of studying.
    SECURITY OFFICER: Of course, Supreme Leader.
    KYLO: To know her movements. Her way of fighting.
    SECURITY OFFICER: Very wise, Supreme Leader.
    KYLO: Yes it is. This is what warriors do. They study their opponent.
    SECURITY OFFICER: Yes, Supreme Leader.

    Rey enters another junction on three monitors and begins deflecting blaster fire as stormtroopers begin to emerge from some of the corridors. As she deflects, Rey does spins and kicks.

    KYLO: This is good. This is really. Great stuff.

    As Rey deflects blaster bolts, two of the cameras are hit and the feeds stop.

    KYLO: No! Get them back! Make them...
    SECURITY OFFICER: They're destroyed, Supreme Leader. Can't get them...
    Kylo: Silence.

    Kylo points at the remaining monitor.

    KYLO: Can we, turn that camera, slightly...

    Kylo motions a clockwise rotation and the officer pushes a small switch on a switchboard.

    KYLO: Faster!

    The monitor view rotates, bringing Rey into center frame.

    KYLO: There. Stop. Yes. Perfect.

    As more troopers arrive, some begin to take position in the way of the camera view.

    KYLO (angry): No! What are? Tell them to stand aside. Tell the troopers... stand aside!

    The security officer pushes a button on a panel.

    SECURITY OFFICER: Troopers! Stand aside from the security camera by order of the Supreme Leader!

    On the monitor, Rey briefly looks up and around at the sound of the command, and some of the troopers awkwardly dodge away from the camera and into Rey's lightsaber twirls. She begins spin-kicking and cartwheeling other troopers but is blocked from view by a stormtrooper who is still near to, and looking up at, the security camera.

    KYLO (furious): Get out of the way you imbecile! You're ... ruining!

    Kylo makes a swift, sharp gesture and the trooper is force-hurled out of the view just as Rey lands on her feet out of a cartwheel. She looks at the trooper in surprise, and looks at the security camera. She deflects a blaster bolt without looking and neutralizes the final trooper. She walks slowly toward the camera, standing a few meters away from it, looking into it.

    KYLO: That's it. There she is. There. She. Is. (moving closer to the monitor) Show me that mean-face. Show me that ferocity.

    Rey sneers as she does a running leap at the camera, swinging her saber and causing the camera feed to end.

    KYLO: Beautiful.

    Kylo glances at the officer out of the corner of his eye.

    KYLO: Form. Fighting form. Beautiful fighting form.

    He looks back at the monitors.

    KYLO: Where is she?
    SECURITY OFFICER (checking readouts): She's gone up the ventilation shaft, Supreme Leader. We've lost her.

    Kylo looks momentarily disappointed.

    KYLO (scowling): That imbecile! Did you get his number?

    The security officer silently struggles to come up with an answer.

    KYLO: No matter. I've got enough. For now. Well done.

    Kylo holds out his open hand palm up to the officer while looking at a few monitors. The security officer looks at Kylo's open hand, smiles and slaps him five. Kylo turns to the smiling officer.

    KYLO (angry): The video recordings you idiot! Give me the recordings!

    The officer's smile quickly vanishes.

    SECURITY OFFICER: Of course, Supreme Leader.

    He presses some buttons and hands Kylo an ejected disk. Kylo stares at the officer, who lowers his head and looks away. Kylo holds the disc up to inspect it.

    KYLO (to Security Officer): I have much to study. I will be in my meditation chamber see that I am not disturbed.
    SECURITY OFFICER: Of course, Supreme Leader.

    Kylo begins to walk away, then stops.

    KYLO: After this is over, I want security cameras placed in both the floors and ceilings of all future bases.
    SECURITY OFFICER: Yes, Supreme Leader.
    KYLO: And also the ventilation shafts.
    SECURITY OFFICER: Understood, Supreme Leader.

    Kylo turns to walk away.

    Swipe diagonal.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 29, 2018 ---


    In the darkness, a pale green light begins to grow brighter. As it begins to outline a large pod, a hissing sound can be heard, and several small shadowy figures disperse into dark recesses. The large metallic pod opens with a loud hiss, and smoke comes pouring into the chamber. Snoke emerges from the pod. He walks to a large chair and sits.

    SNOKE: So, my young and foolish apprentice. You thought to betray me. To vaniquish me. To kill me. Did you not realize in your arrogance that I would not be overcome with such brevity of ease? Nay, my young apprentice. For I am more powerful than your puny intellectual can even begin to fathom. Did you think I would not prepare, that I would not foresee, that I would not foreknow your pitiful ambitions? For I have spanned countless centuries. My eyes have seen the rise and fall of civilizations ancient and unthinkable. I have endured the eons past and shall endure the eons to come. But you? A mere passing flash in a moment of time. All of your trials have been in vain. All of your knowledge, wasted. For now I am revived in the depths of the abyss, I rise anew with a fury surpassing that of the kindling stars in their tumultuous birth. Now shall I come forth in all of my power and all of my rage! LET THIS KNOWLEDGE BURN THROUGH THE GALAXY AS THE FIERY CONFLAGRATION OF A THOUSAND-FOLD FURNACE OF FLAMES FOR MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE MY DETERMINATION UNQUENCHABLE MY RESOLVE UNSHAKABLE! NOW SHALL MY FOOTSTEPS ECHO WITH THE VOICE OF COMING DOOM FOR I AM MANIFEST IN PURPOSE AND FORM THAT DREAD WHICH FREEZES THE HEART AND SHATTERS THE MIND! FOR NOW SHALL ALL KNOW THAT I AM NONE ELSE BUT

    A quick bolt of energy strikes Snoke between the eyes. He is dazed. He continues a garbled monologue.

    SNOKE: And syph... say... ricmolf down... come mulf... say... abidi du... du ab... say...

    A Jawa steps out of the shadows. It looks at Snoke as he sways, then waves to the shadows.

    JAWA: OO tee dee!

    Several Jawas emerge from the shadows. They busy about the secret lair stripping machine parts and scavenging. Snoke acts unaware and continues.

    SNOKE: Hab see... so, foogho say... come for... segezim... say, abasabee. Say... cheeguma... reeg... say, homasabee.

    Snoke smiles and pitches forward. He dies. The Jawas look at him briefly, then turn to continue their scavenging as one moves to pilfer Snoke's corpse.

    Swipe from left.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 29, 2018 ---


    Kylo is seated in a black chair which is in the center of a circular, spartan room. A small raised table sits before him. On it sits a monitor turned toward Kylo. We cannot see the monitor, as Kylo faces the frame, looking down at the monitor, his face illuminated by its light.

    KYLO (to monitor): Insert clip nineteen, overlay clip eight. Add music track four.

    Primitive drummings begin to play, joined by a chorus of caterwauling female singers.

    KYLO: Nice. Overlay lighting effect three.

    The light from the monitor becomes golden.

    KYLO: Yes. Save. Preview clip ten.
    KYLO (scowls): Trooper! (furious): I hate you!
    KYLO: (angry) Crop clip. Remove trooper. Delete. Salvage effect.
    KYLO: Clip and zoom.

    Kylo nods.

    KYLO: Save. Preview clip twenty-five. Fifty percent speed.

    He suddenly moves forward in his seat.

    KYLO: Stop. Frame forward.

    Kylo leans closer.

    KYLO: Frame by frame three second delay.

    Kylo's eyes widen.

    KYLO: Almost there...

    Kylo begins to slightly tilt his head.

    KYLO: Almost there...

    He begins to move his head at an angle relative to the monitor as if he is attempting to peer at the screen from an impossible vantage point.

    KYLO: Almost...

    Suddenly the sound of the door alert buzzes.

    KYLO (jumps up surprised): Just a moment!

    HUX (muffled from outside): Supreme Leader I must speak to you immediately!

    KYLO (to monitor): Save project.

    The monitor beeps and Kylo reaches out and flips the monitor down. He sits back in his chair and places his hands on his knees, then suddenly shifts to the side, resting his chin on his fist.

    KYLO: Enter.

    Before the door opens, Kylo quickly shifts back to sitting upright, arms crossed. The doors open and Hux strides into the room.

    KYLO: I thought I said don't dis...
    HUX: Apologies Supreme Leader, but we have word there is a fight going on in the lower levels. A Jedi is involved.
    KYLO: The Jedi, you fool, there's only the one.
    HUX: Quite right, sir.
    KYLO: The cameras aren't working?
    HUX: Apparently they've all been simultaneously sabotaged. Probably from the central networking junction.
    KYLO (lips tighten): Then she has made her way to the main reactor warehouse.
    HUX: It appears so, Supreme Leader.

    Kylo closes his eyes. He is silent for a moment as Hux looks on.

    KYLO: Yes. She is close.

    Kylo opens his eyes.

    KYLO: Do you smell that?
    HUX: Smell what?
    KYLO: Like... fruity?
    HUX: No.
    KYLO: What is that? (he sniffs) Strawberry?
    HUX: I'm not sure, sir.
    KYLO: Raspberry?
    HUX: I don't...
    KYLO: Water...

    Hux looks on with unease.

    KYLO: Strawberry... banan...no.
    HUX: Supreme Leader.
    KYLO: Mango?
    HUX (imploring): Supreme Leader, please.
    KYLO (angry): What?
    HUX: Are you feeling up to this?
    KYLO (defiant): Why wouldn't I be?
    HUX: You just seem...
    KYLO: Seem what?
    HUX: It's just that...
    KYLO: Seem dark?
    HUX (smiling weakly) Somewhat. I suppose.
    KYLO: No doubt.
    HUX: Shall I send the Knights of Ren to dispatch...
    KYLO: Who?
    HUX: The Knights of Ren.
    KYLO: Yes. The Knights of Ren. I had almost forgotten about them.
    HUX: Very good, sir!
    KYLO: Let's see how this young upstart deals with my squad of elite battle-hardened special forces.
    HUX: At once, Supreme Leader!

    Hux strides from the chamber.

    HUX: Summon. The Knights of Ren!

    The doors close. Kylo sits silently for a moment. He reaches out and flips the monitor upright.

    KYLO: Load program 'ReyDance-One'

    The monitor beeps and softly illuminates the room.

    KYLO: Convert to hologram.

    Kylo sits silently for a moment, deep in thought. A sudden look of realization crosses his face.

    KYLO: Strawberry kiwi.

    Swipe from top.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 29, 2018 ---


    Kylo and Rey square off, sabers ignited. Rey is collected, brave and determined. Kylo eyes her warily. He is reserved yet threatening. He drags his saber along the metallic floor, searing the surface and sending a shower of sparks into the air.

    KYLO (flinching as some sparks hit him): Ouch.

    Rey holds her saber up in preparation for any onslaught that may be coming. She moves into a fluid stance, defiant.

    KYLO: I saw you on the monitor earlier. Fighting your way through the ignition passages.
    REY: Good for you!
    KYLO: I see you're still wearing the slave bikini.
    REY: Because that creep Vega Fett forced it on me!
    KYLO: What a tool.
    REY: He was!
    KYLO: What happened to him?
    REY: He fell off a platform to his death because of a jet pack malfunction!
    KYLO (angry): You see this is why I don't wear a jet pack! Those things are death traps!
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 29, 2018 ---
    The last scene didn't have an ending. I presume it will be sent in its full form sometime with the other missing scenes. I'll keep posting as they come in.
    • Funny Funny x 8
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  2. Bunai

    Bunai Clone Commander

    Oct 12, 2017
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    Is this one of those post from the Rey-lo forums?
    • Funny Funny x 4
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  3. Bandini

    Bandini Jedi Commander

    Sep 18, 2015
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    Some lines are as powerful as : Master Skywalker, you have to come back because Kylo Ren is strong with the dark side of the force ...

    But it is clearly a fake, there no mention of "She changed her hair once again" on Leia's grave.

    • Funny Funny x 8
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  4. NinjaRen

    NinjaRen Supreme Leader

    Nov 23, 2015
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    That line wouldn't be that bad, but Daisy's dilivery of this line was just bad. Haha!
    • Like Like x 7
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  5. FN-3263827

    FN-3263827 First Order CPS
    1030th General **** (Mod)

    Jan 19, 2016
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    the lack of porgs in this causes me to question its veracity.
    • Cute Cute x 7
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  6. Maximus

    Maximus Reel 2 Dialogue 2

    Sep 10, 2014
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    porgs? you're worried about Chewie's dinner?
    what about the hero of the entire saga? where is he exactly during this movie?

    you know who i mean.. he's short, white with blue trim.. beeps a lot :D
    • Cute Cute x 4
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  7. FN-3263827

    FN-3263827 First Order CPS
    1030th General **** (Mod)

    Jan 19, 2016
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    right??? #FanFictFail
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  8. Andrew Waples

    Andrew Waples Jedi General

    Feb 3, 2018
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  9. Dawn

    Dawn Rebel General

    Jun 6, 2017
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    It really IS stupid.

    That's what I said about 3 seconds after I started reading this lol

    I think my eyes just rolled into another dimension.

    Come on!

    That's it, I'm DONE, I can't take this anymore lol

    How's the weather on Crait?
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Cute Cute x 1
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  10. FN-3263827

    FN-3263827 First Order CPS
    1030th General **** (Mod)

    Jan 19, 2016
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    honestly, what is going on in that scene?
    is he giving birth? he's giving birth, isn't he?

    AO3 has rotted my mind forever.

    • Funny Funny x 7
  11. metadude

    metadude Rebelscum

    Jun 5, 2018
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    The group of Resistance members is standing before a raised platform in the midst of a hangar bay. Several starfighters are parked here and there. The Falcon is parked close, and Rey and Chewbacca stand at the bottom of the landing ramp. On the platform stands Poe, and Finn sits on the hood of a landspeeder parked on the platform. Rose sits next to Finn.

    POE: Thanks guys. I'd like to say that, I knew you'd make the right choice. I did. You have. And you will not regret it. You will not be disappointed.
    FINN: We will exceed your expectations.
    POE: Yes we will. And I promise you that I - and Finn - will lead you into the bright, luminosicated future with the resolve of stalworth tenacity. And, with just the right amount of swag, am I right buddy?

    Poe and Finn fist bump.

    FINN: Gonna be with style.
    POE: Yes it is. Now, first things first we need to address the important issues. Things that matter the most. Okay? Now I've heard the rumors going around. I hear things. Finn hears things. You guys are out there just, you know? But I want to make it abundantly clear, okay? I am all about the ladies, all right? Finn here?
    FINN (puts his arm around Rose): Gotta have my girl.
    POE: Gotta have his girl. All right. So, let's put that one behind us, okay?
    FINN: But not in that kind of a way.

    Poe looks at Finn with mild confusion which becomes sudden realization.

    POE: Yes. Right.

    Poe turns back to the group.

    POE: Not in that kind of a way because? (he points back and forth between Finn and himself): Not gay. And if we get into a situation where there's a sudden celebration going on and a lot of hugging and, you know; let's keep in mind what I just said to you. Let's do this right.
    FINN: And we want to make sure to say that there is nothing wrong with gay.
    POE (shaking his head): Nothing wrong with it.
    FINN: We fight as brothers and sisters.
    POE: You said it, buddy.

    Poe opens his mouth to continue but is cut off by Finn who stands.

    FINN: We all look after each other cause we are all each other got to look after.
    POE (looking at Finn with mild concern): Exactly.
    FINN (raising his voice): Because when the bombs start droppin and the place starts hoppin I will bleed for you, aight!
    POE (looking at the group and smiling): Aight, buddy.
    FINN (in a commanding voice): Don't matter what you are, who you are, where you come from; I will bleed for you!
    POE (placing his hands on his hips and looking down): Yep.
    FINN (shouting and thumping his chest with each word which echoes in the hangar): I! Will! Bleed! For! You!
    POE (raising his hand to calm Finn): Okay, buddy. Maybe save that for the battlefield.
    FINN: I just want them to know that I...
    POE: You'll bleed for them. We got it.
    FINN: Damn straight.

    Finn sits back down and Poe does a double-take as Rose claps and hugs Finn. Poe looks at her for a moment then turns back to the group.

    POE: Okay. So. To recap: Finn will bleed for you. Poe? Not gay. Totally straight. But that, even if you are gay, we got your back. So, Viv, you're all good. We got your back brother.

    The group turns to look at a man. He looks around surprised.

    VIV: Uh. I'm not gay.

    Poe looks at Finn. Finn furrows his brow in disbelief.

    POE (to Viv): Pretty sure you're gay, pal.
    VIV: Pretty sure I'm not.
    POE: Serious?
    VIV: Uh. Yeah.

    Poe and Finn look at each other in confusion. A look of realization crosses Finn's face and he makes a door-closing motion, nodding at Poe.

    POE (sudden realization): Oh! Okay. Hey you don't have to be that way, buddy. Everyone here totally has your back.
    FINN (shaking his head seriously): Not here to judge, brother. Not here to judge.
    POE: So, you can just be who you are and just, be that guy.
    VIV: Okay, but I am that guy that I just said.
    POE: Okay. Okay. No pressure. Not meaning to make this awkward or anything. You just, take your time and when the time is right, just know we've got your back. Okay? I mean, Finn will bleed for you. So...
    VIV: I'm telling you I'm not gay, okay?
    POE: Serious?
    VIV: Serious as the first time you asked, 'Serious?'
    POE: Okay you don't have to say it like that.
    VIV: I didn't say it like anything.
    POE (nods): You did. Yes you did.

    Poe looks at Finn. Finn shrugs.

    POE: Okay well. Who here is gay?

    The group looks around at one another.

    POE: No one here is gay?

    The group looks around.

    POE: Niona you're telling me you're not gay either?

    The group turns to look at a girl. She looks around and shakes her head.

    NIONA: No. I like boys.
    POE: Come on, I see the way you've looked at Rey.

    The group turns to look at Rey. Rey is looking on in shocked disbelief. Chewie looks at her.

    NIONA: No. We're just friends.
    POE: Really?
    NIONA: Really.
    POE (barely audible): That's a shame.

    Poe looks at the group. His face showing a sudden concern.

    POE: So you're telling me there are no gays in this group?

    They all shake their heads.

    Poe turns to walk briskly by Finn, grabbing him by the arm and leading him a few steps away, backs to the group.

    POE (whispering): Dude we got a serious problem here.
    FINN (whispering): What?
    POE (whispering): Well think about it, buddy. We're the Resistance. We stand for the downtrodden and the outcast. The minority looking for representation. How are we going to do that...
    FINN (finishing Poe's sentence with whispering realization): With no gays in the group?
    POE (whispering): Exactly. I mean, people will be calling us out as a sham. It'll be all over the galactic web. We'll be drummed out of the business. We can kiss any hopes of landing a guest appearance on Late Night With Dar 9 after this is all over goodbye, that's for sure. We'll be lucky to find a guest spot on one of those, dysfunctional day time talk shows.
    FINN (whispering in a fearful tone): I don't want to be on the Janik Spacer show.
    POE (whispering in the same tone): Me neither, buddy.
    FINN (whispering): We gotta find some gays.
    POE (whispering in agreement): We gotta find some gays.

    They stand in momentarily silence, thinking.

    FINN (whispering): I've got an idea.

    They turn back to the group.

    POE: Okay I need some volunteers for an urgent top-secret mission vital to the survival of the Resistance.

    Hands go up in the group.

    Poe and Finn look at each other, nodding as they smile.

    Diagonal swipe.
    • Funny Funny x 2
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  12. Dawn

    Dawn Rebel General

    Jun 6, 2017
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    O.O....Why? Why would you do this to me? Putting THAT image in my head. Excuse me while I go meditate to the sound of a thousand Tibetan singing bowls. Although there might not be enough of those on the planet to help me now.....O.O
    • Funny Funny x 5
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  13. FN-3263827

    FN-3263827 First Order CPS
    1030th General **** (Mod)

    Jan 19, 2016
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    yeah, literally my first encounter with AO3 and it has scarred me for life. : o p

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  14. metadude

    metadude Rebelscum

    Jun 5, 2018
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    It's a very strange opening for sure. I don't know what to make of it. I can understand the concern trust me I felt it, too. Probably for the best, once Kylo emerges from his quarters things start to get, very dark. But, I don't know. Very hesitant about this new direction if this is legit. Very strange.
    --- Double Post Merged, Jun 29, 2018, Original Post Date: Jun 29, 2018 ---
    I can't be 100% what this "A.J. A.J. Abramsay" person is intending. But I thinking it has something to do with the caption "KYLO SENSES LEIA'S DEATH" - my take is, that Kylo has sensed his mother's death and is trying to deal with the pain. But, who knows.
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  15. metadude

    metadude Rebelscum

    Jun 5, 2018
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    In the empty room, Kylo is seated silently in his black chair. A keyboard sits on the raised table before him. He reaches forward to the keyboard, and begins to play a soft piano melody. He closes his eyes.

    KYLO: And now for something completely different.

    The frame begins to revolve slowly around him as he begins to sing:

    I got a darkness.. darkness.. darkness..
    And it's filling my soul.. soul.. soul..
    Can't seem to break free of it..
    I can't regain control.. trol.. trol..

    Kylo pauses a moment, then continues.

    And sometimes I sit alone.. lone.. lone..
    And sometimes I think of you... you.. you..
    And we were back to back.. back to back.. back to back..
    And your lightsaber blue.. blue.. blue..

    Kylo plays with more force.

    And there you stood with me...
    Like nobody would...
    At the world's end...
    Like nobody could..

    As Kylo begins playing a more complex and stronger melody, other instruments join in to create a powerful rock ballad. Several small lights located around the rim of the table turn on and begin rotating, sending small spotlights around the chamber, and creating light displays on the walls. He sings surprisingly well.

    And we took out those guards!
    You and me together!
    Oh baby I know, I should've told you then, that I needed you now!
    I can't do it alone!
    And I know and I know, that I should've gone,
    I shoulda lifted you up, right there in my arms!
    I shoulda left it behind, and ran away from it all,
    Grabbed your ray of sunshine, and flew up into the stars!

    But I missed you, baby!
    Oh I couldn't see just who you were!
    I couldn't read the signs that were there in your eyes!
    How I could be so blind it comes as no surprise!
    You were sent to me to shine some light in my world;
    And I threw it away; I just threw it away!
    And now I'm without you girl!
    Oh tell me how to call your name!
    When I'm standing alone in the pouring rain,
    And I'm looking around but there's nobody to blame!
    Oh how I'm missing you, girl!
    And now I will never be the same!

    Oh baby!

    Why does it have to be like this!
    When our lives have come between us both;
    And deny us that state of such radiant bliss!

    Oh baby!

    Can you hear me now?
    Is our connection still strong or is it forever gone?
    Oh if you'll please come back then I will do you no wrong!
    I will fall on my knees and I will sing you my song!
    And I will say to you!..
    I will say to you!..
    Oh I will say to you!..

    The accompanying instruments cease in a crescendo. Kylo returns to the soft piano from the intro of the song.

    KYLO: That I'm sorry..

    He plays some outro notes and the song ends. He sits in silence for a few moments, then reaches out to turn the keyboard off.

    Swipe from top.
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  16. FN-3263827

    FN-3263827 First Order CPS
    1030th General **** (Mod)

    Jan 19, 2016
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    now we know this is a false leak.
    Kylo Ren would never play the piano.
    he's definitely an axe man.




    and the clincher (live and in concert):

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  17. Dawn

    Dawn Rebel General

    Jun 6, 2017
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    haha thanks!

    Oh I have no concern, I'm sure this is 100% fake.
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  18. metadude

    metadude Rebelscum

    Jun 5, 2018
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    I suppose we can hope so. But I did just receive an e-mail reply, after sending the question "Is this legit or not?" via e-mail. Here is the response:

    Name: AJ AJ Abramsay
    Address: scriptmonkey69@disneyhq.***.org
    Subject: LEGIT!


    LEGIT! stop. No more questions. stop. Mama Bear watching. stop. Suspects leak. stop. Must lay low. stop. Resume ASAP. stop.

    So, I don't know. If it is all fake, then at least I'm providing a window to glimpse inside of a very troubled mind. I am confident it would be of use for the sake of posterity. Teams of psychiatrists could have a veritable field day with this one. I appreciate the words of caution and would pass along your criticism to the mystery author if I could, but since he has requested no further emails, I'm at a loss to do so. At any rate, thanks for the response.
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  19. p03

    p03 Human/Cyborg Relations

    Dec 30, 2014
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  20. Bluemilk

    Bluemilk I AM the Senate

    Nov 9, 2014
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    fan fiction and terrible at that
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