New re-cut phantom menace, now rewrite the dialogue challenge

This is a ruff recut of the phantom menace, there is no jar jar, some of the scenes have been reworked.
Using this as the skeleton, how could the movie be rewrote to remove the terrible dialogue (where there is terrible dialogue) and create a meaningful story.

This is the trailer

As it progresses we could collaborate to rework a full hd version.

This is essentially the plot.

Ambassadors are sent by the senate to settle a trade blockade. The blockade denies all knowledge of having ever received them.

Suspecting a imminent invasion, Queen Amidala / Padmé has requested the presence of the neutral Jedi as oversight.
As invasion begins, the Jedi, who are patrolling Amidalas palace free the captured queen and narrowly escape the blockade, taking damage as they flee.

Landing on a hut controlled planet and looking for parts for there damaged hyper drive, the Jedi encounter a young force capable boy (Anakin Skywalker) who helps them, by risking his own life. In gratitude the Jedi force Anikins owner to free him.

As Qui-Gon Jinn spends more time around the young boy, he suspects he may have, through the will of the force, found the prophesied chosen one and returns to the Jedi counsel to consult with them and ask to train the boy as a jedi. He is attacked by a mysterious dark side figure on route to the council causing concern amongst the Jedi as the Sith are long since thought to be extinct.

Arriving at the capital, the Jedi are met by the current chancellor, Chancellor Valorum and Senator Palpatine to discuss the invasion of Queen Amidala / Padmés home planet, Senator Palpatine wastes no time in manipulating the vulnerable Queen Amidala / Padmé in to asking the senate for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum.

Meanwhile Anakin Skywalker is presented to the Jedi council who defer from making a judgment on wether or not to train Anakin, sensing much inner turmoil, until the matter of the unknown sith attacker is resolved.

Determined to free here people Queen Amidala / Padmé recouples with the Jedi and returns to her home planet with a devious plot to take back control. So ensues a battle of massive proportions for the Queens home planet.

 

I'm glad you felt compelled to share that.

 

Watch my trailer and I would appreciate any feed back. Also if you have the time watch the full movie there are a lot of subtle scene reworks, its still choppy in places though but overlooking that, I would appreciate a prequels fans feed back.