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SPOILER Part of the script - Greenham Common/Dantooine scene

Discussion in 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' started by DarthSpoiler, Oct 2, 2014.

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  1. Kibble

    Kibble Rebelscum

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    Forget the theme, or lack-there-of, of the Prequel Trilogy, and make a film that doesn't contradict the events of the Prequels, but does retain the deeper meaning of the Original Trilogy.
     
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  2. JJ's Cat

    JJ's Cat Clone

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    ive seen da skript. dis is not it. i willz post da reel greenham common seen soon. dis is jj's cat i go evrywere wiff him. i saw dis seen filmd and all da uddr seens 2
     
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  3. TIDMADT

    TIDMADT Jedi Biker

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    I like this Cat... he seems very credible...
     
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  4. JJ's Cat

    JJ's Cat Clone

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    EXT. DANTOOINE ALLIANCE BASE


    OPEN WITH ESTABLISHING SHOT ON RUNWAY. THE MILLENNIUM FALCON IS AT THE END OF RUNWAY POWERING DOWN.
    PILOTS IN ORANGE JUMPSUITS RUN TO THEIR X-WING FIGHTERS. CUT TO SHOT OF ALLIANCE SENTRY WITH RIFLES IN HAND OFF THE RUNWAY AT EASE.
    CUT BACK TO HANGAR BAY 2 OPENING. DORLAN SOLO STANDS AT THE READY. CLOSE UP OF DORLAN, HELMET UNDER ARM. HE RUNS FROM HANGAR BAY 2.
    PAN TO FOLLOW DORLAN PAST HIS X-WING MK V. GROUP OF FOUR MEN IN ALLIANCE UNIFORMS MEET HIM ON THE PATH INCLUDING MYK LEONIS.

    MYK – COMMANDER SOLO.

    DORLAN – CAN’T TALK NOW LEONIS. MY FATHER JUST LANDED.

    DORLAN DROPS HIS HELMET TO CARRY AT HIS SIDE WHILE CONTINUING TO WALK PAST MYK AND OTHER ALLIANCE MEN. CUT TO CLOSE UP OF MYK.
    HE FOLLOWS AFTER DORLAN.

    MYK – I KNOW SIR BUT I HAVE A REQUEST.

    CUT TO SHOT BEHIND DORLAN AS HE STOPS IN HIS TRACKS. CLOSE UP ON DORLAN. HE LOOKS ANNOYED.

    DORLAN – I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO ASK AND FOR THE LAST TIME NO. WE HAVE ENOUGH PILOTS FOR THE ATTACK ON TIRVON’S FLAGSHIP.

    SHOT OF BOTH MEN AS DORLAN CONTINUES TO WALK TOWARDS THE MILLENNIUM FALCON. MYK DOESN’T GIVE UP. HE FOLLOWS AFTER DORLAN.

    MYK – BUT SIR–

    MYK IS CUT OFF BY THE SOUND OF THE MILLENNIUM FALCON’S ENTRY RAMP DESCENDING. CUT TO LOWERING ENTRY RAMP WITH DORLAN OFF TO THE LEFT, MYK IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM.
    AS THE RAMP FINISHES LOWERING CHEWBACCA EXITS TAPPING BUTTONS ON THE HYDRAULICS MECHANISM ON HIS CYBERNETIC LEFT ARM.
    CHEWBACCA LETS OUT A ROAR OF SATISFACTION AS THE GRIP OF THE CYBERNETIC ARM LOOSENS AT THE ELBOW. CHEWBACCA REMOVES THE ARM AND PLACES IT IN A BAG HANGING FROM HIS BANDOLEER. CHEWBACCA PUTS HIS INJURED LEFT ARM IN A SLING.
    HAN SOLO FOLLOWS BEHIND. CUT TO CLOSE UP ON HAN.

    HAN – MOVE IT CHEWIE. YOU CAN MESS WITH THAT THING ONCE WE’RE INSIDE.

    CUT OVER HAN’S SHOULDER. HAN SEES DORLAN WAITING FOR HIM. CUT TO SHOT TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE RAMP. HAN CONTINUES DOWN THE RAMP WITH A SLIGHT LIMP.

    HAN – Maclunkey THESE NEW BOOTS.

    CUT TO BUST SHOT OF DORLAN AND MYK.

    DORLAN – FATHER.

    HAN – HELLO DORLAN.

    HAN KNEELS DOWN TO ADJUST HIS RIGHT BOOT.

    HAN – THERE.

    DORLAN – HAS ADMIRAL ORGANA BRIEFED YOU ON THE RESCUE MISSION?

    HAN – YEAH.

    HAN LOOKS DOWN UNEASY ABOUT THE MENTION OF HIS FORMER WIFE. THEN BACK AT DORLAN.

    HAN – SHE HAS. TIRVON’S GOT LUKE UP IN HIS DESTROYER OVER MORABAND.

    THEY START WALKING TOWARDS HANGAR BAY 2. MYK IS STILL FOLLOWING.

    HAN – I FLY THE FALCON INTO THEIR HANGAR, VIA AND CHEWIE TAKE ARTOO TO THE HANGAR’S COMPUTER, ARTOO FIND’S LUKE’S HOLDING CELL, VIA USES THAT LIGHTSABER OF HERS TO GET THROUGH TIRVON’S GOONS AND I SIT IN THE FALCON TRYING NOT TO PANIC AS MY ONLY DAUGHTER, YOUR SISTER, RUNS THROUGH THAT SHIP TO FIND HER UNCLE AND NOT GET KILLED IN THE PROCESS. ALL THE WHILE, YOU AND THE SQUADRON FLY AROUND ON THE OUTSIDE TO BRING DOWN THE OTHER DESTROYERS.

    DORLAN – YEAH. THAT’S ESSENTIALLY IT.

    THEY STOP NEXT TO DORLAN’S X-WING MK V. CLOSE UP OF MYK.

    MYK – GENERAL SOLO?

    CUT TO SHOW ALL FOUR. DORLAN ROLLS HIS EYES. HAN LOOKS AT MYK.

    HAN – MYK. I DIDN’T SEE YOU THERE.
    HAN SAYS SARCASTICALLY.

    MYK – IS THERE ROOM FOR ME IN THE FALCON SIR?

    DORLAN – LEONIS YOU ARE OUT OF LINE–
    HAN CUTS DORLAN OFF.

    HAN – SURE. I’D LIKE SOMEONE WHO CAN SWING A LASER SWORD BACKING UP VIA.

    HAN LOOKS AT CHEWBACCA.

    HAN – NO OFFENCE CHEWIE.

    CHEWBACCA GRUFFS AND SHRUGS HIS SHOULDERS.

    MYK – THANK YOU SIR! I WON’T LET YOU DOWN.

    HAN – GREAT KID. GO GET YOUR STUFF TOGETHER AND MEET ME AT THE FALCON IN TEN.

    MYK SALUTES HAN.

    MYK – YES SIR! THANK YOU SIR!

    MYK RUNS OFF INTO THE HANGAR. CLOSE UP OF DORLAN.

    DORLAN – WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?

    SHOT OF ALL THREE. HAN WALKS INTO THE HANGAR NOT LOOKING AT DORLAN. DORLAN AND CHEWBACCA FOLLOW BEHIND. CUT TO CLOSE UP OF HAN.

    HAN – WHAT?

    CUT TO SHOT IN FRONT OF ALL THREE. PILOTS RUN DOWN HALLWAY AND OTHER OFFICERS GOING ABOUT THEIR BUSINESS.

    DORLAN – UNDERMINING MY AUTHORITY AGAIN!

    HAN – WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

    DORLAN RUNS AHEAD AND STOPS IN FRONT OF HAN LOOKING HIM DEAD IN THE EYE. SHOT OF HAN AND DORLAN FROM THE SIDE.

    DORLAN – YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! WHATEVER I TELL MY MEN, YOU ALWAYS COME ALONG AND GIVE THEM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ORDER THAN WHAT THEY ARE ALREADY CARRYING OUT.

    HAN – THIS IS ABOUT MYK?

    DORLAN GETS IN HAN’S FACE. CLOSE UP OF DORLAN.

    DORLAN – AND WINTERS LAST WEEK AND KATARN BEFORE THAT!

    SHOT FROM THE SIDE. HAN POINTS AT DORLAN. BYSTANDERS TRY NOT TO STARE.

    HAN – LOOK KID! I’M THE SENIOR OFFICER AT THIS BASE. MY WORD IS OVER YOURS. I’VE BEEN DOING THIS A HELL OF A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE, SPORT, AND IF I GIVE A DIFFERENT ORDER TO THESE MEN THAN YOU, THEY HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME.

    DORLAN MOVES HAN’S HAND OUT OF THE WAY. CUT TO SHOT IN FRONT OF HAN AS DORLAN WALKS TO HIS X-WING SILENTLY, FUMING.

    CUTS TO CLOSE UP OF CHEWBACCA. HE GRUFFS AT HAN. CUTS TO SHOT OF BOTH.

    HAN – I DON’T KNOW WHERE I WENT WRONG WITH HIM CHEWIE.

    CHEWBACCA BARKS A QUESTION.

    HAN – MAYBE IT DOES HAVE TO DO WITH LEIA AND ME SEPARATING, BUT THAT WAS YEARS AGO. YOU THINK HE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN OVER IT BY NOW.

    HAN SIGHS AND CONTINUES WALKING DOWN THE HALL CHEWBACCA ON HIS HEELS.
     
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  5. TIDMADT

    TIDMADT Jedi Biker

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    Where in the hell did that come from...

    Gonna have to think about this... my off the cuff reaction was to go google some of the names to see if this was a takeoff from other work

    My second thought was that some of the narrative is over descriptive ("my daughter, your sister") but... scripts go through a lot, and depending on how it is said...

    My third thought is to go back and look at my first two thoughts...

    My fourth thought is that I need a drink, and time to think about this...

    Cat's first post was precious, so totally amusing and put in a way as to not be taken seriously at all... the second post was so totally unexpected it knocked me on my heels

    The only problem I have is that this post seems to overly use elements in hot discussion lately, which could be getting thrown out there as proof, or capitalizing on recent gossip
     
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  6. HarryShoulders

    HarryShoulders Rebel General

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    Buwhahahahhhaa. You can't write it better than that Mr. Jigglesworth. I have to photo shop a picture of JJ's face on Dr. Evil to appeal to your trolling sensibilities.
     
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  7. Voxx

    Voxx Jedi Hero of Legend

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  8. Duck Duck Goose

    Duck Duck Goose Rebel Commander

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    I doubt it. Unless Harrison Ford is trying to remind himself who all the characters are and what a lightsaber is.
     
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  9. TIDMADT

    TIDMADT Jedi Biker

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    My first thought as well... but original drafts of scripts tend to follow guidelines, which is "you need to explain blast to people who haven't seen the other movies, just in case this is the first they have seen"

    Early versions of ESB and RoTJ did similar things, which got edited and reworked... while I am not giving a pass on this, I am saying that this alone is not enough to reject it

    The fact that it was posted by a cat, however... I mean, come on... if it had been posted by his dog, we wouldn't be having this conversation, but cats are wiley little creatures...
     
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  10. JJ's Cat

    JJ's Cat Clone

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    dis iz leegit i sware. kazdan's dawg neerly keeld me as i postde to dis syte. i willz add moor ltr if he dozent eet me.
     
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  11. Duke Groundrunner

    Duke Groundrunner Rebel Official

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    Whoa, thats clunky exposition dialogue.
     
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  12. Guybrush Threepwood

    Guybrush Threepwood Rebel Commander

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    Scripts don't often dictate every shot, every second in every scene. Directors usually, erm, direct that. And the dialogue is clunkier than a Lada.
     
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  13. Voxx

    Voxx Jedi Hero of Legend

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    I was thinking the same thing with the camera shots. This cat seems questionable.
     
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  14. Fallon Tagge

    Fallon Tagge Rebel General

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    After all that I'd go with the OP.
     
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  15. Voxx

    Voxx Jedi Hero of Legend

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    I wouldn't go with either lol
     
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  16. Shawshank

    Shawshank Rebel General

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    Oh Kibs...you make it so difficult to talk to you when you literally just ignore anything that isn't the original version of the OT.

    You're ignoring well over half of what Star Wars has become since 1983. I mean...Maclunkey dude...
     
  17. remiel6

    remiel6 Rebel Official

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    At the risk of one of these being legit and JJ Abrams hating me for calling his writing trash I post this.
    So why is it everyone who claims to have a copy of the script or scenes from the script never has a properly formatted script? All screenplays are written in the same format. Its industry standard learn what it is.
    As for the first, Why is a seventy year old Han running for no reason?
    Do families greet each other this way? Have you ever done it? Go home see how you greet your parents, this reads like a script not real life. I promise JJ writes better than this.
    The script would not need to note there are non humans there and it wouldn’t be in a parenthetical, not normally anyway. The only reason this would be here is if it is an opening scene and we are establishing something.
    What does this place look like, it would be here somewhat unless we have seen this location before.
    Again, go home meet your wife. How often do you actually say each others names. Unless Han has just survived a major fight in which many people died this is not realistic.
    I actually like the boba fett reveal. I could see that happening.
    2nd one
    Why is this all in caps? See comment from the first one. Can’t they steal properly formatted scripts? Please know what a script looks like.
    This is clearly written after the photo of what looks to be the character in the x wing outfit.
    Why is Chewy satisfied his arm doesn’t work? This doesn’t make sense.
    I don’t ever recall Han or any star wars character ever complain about their clothes. This is idle chatter. Han is not normally an idle talk character. He talks with a purpose.
    Sometimes scripts might have reference to shots, when they are written by a director who is directing it, as this one is, but it’s still rare.
    Again, the greeting is not normal. Talk to your friends see how you actually say hi to them.
    Laser Sword? I’ve never heard a character in a star wars film refer to a lightsaber as a laser sword. Not to say it can’t happen, but…


    I'm not buying it. If your going to claim to have fake scripts the least you can do is format them right
     
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  18. Kibble

    Kibble Rebelscum

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    Well you gotta keep in mind that everything besides the theatrical release of the Star Wars Original Trilogy has the potential to be fundamentally different because it was made by different people - people that might not understand the intention of the artists that created the Originals. The only people I know of that worked on both trilogies are George Lucas, John Williams<3, and Ben Burtt, plus Anthony Daniels as See-Threepio (and Kenny Baker as Artoo-Detoo?), and the Prequels embodied that potential to be fundamentally different, perfectly. But I'm not just saying ignore them entirely, just ignore any stupid pseudophilosophy that actually takes away from the theme, story, and true meaning of Star Wars. Which the Prequels do.

    Stupid kid Anakin called it a laser sword in The Phantom Menace. But uh, I agree with the entirety of the rest of your post - I bet that if an actual screenwriter (even an amateur) looked at this script they could find a hundred reasons why its fake.
     
  19. TIDMADT

    TIDMADT Jedi Biker

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    That is how a SW script looks... and yes, it is rather descriptive, and the dialogue clunky... real scripts do describe shots and block out the dialogue...

    If we are going to debate this, let's do it on the merits... how about that it is being posted by a freakin CAT for cryin out loud?!?!?

    Someone with a lick of sense...

    I think Han complaining about the boot thing is an effort to tie it in to his accident, and why he might still be limping on set... but yeah, ain't it funny that a script with Chewie and a robotic arm appears right after the concept art (which has since been claimed to have been discarded)
     
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  20. remiel6

    remiel6 Rebel Official

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    I don't want to be a jerk, but and perhaps its the formatting of the chat. I've been here for two days so I don't know, but

    Names of characters speaking do not go on the left of the page, they are centered by every script I have ever read.

    also, at some point some writers as I said in my post, especially directors writing might add some shots.

    When learning screenwriting and in early drafts you are taught not to include pan downs and types of shots unless it is vital to the story or flow of the script. That is the directors job. Now a script for Jedi might only because it is written for Lucas under the direction of Lucas.

    Aside from formatting issues, the rest of it isn't exactly dapper either.
     
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