SPOILER Restoring the PT's Archive Memory: A Spoiler, Script & Novel Discussion

The moment you find out that Darth Sidious ordered the clones and Sifo Dyas never existed. And somebody has it on film.

 

Post not intended to be taken seriously, its a smarmy look at how different things are:

2nd Disclaimer: This post does not mention blood tests & mesomorphians, or whatever they're called. Or Dathomir.
3rd Disclaimer: The following post is dark and full of ancient rumors. THIS, is a rough summation of 34 thousand script scribbles, Sith inspired set leaks and other random spoiler sources. I will not post any proof, I leave that endeavor to the 2 sleuths ( @kb93 @Alex Sebire ) who have provided Jedi-Master level assistance during my research mission. I'm not a keeper of the peace, I'm a soldier sailor seeking fortune and power.
Or something.

Anyways, lets get on with the patently-absurd then, shall we?

A long time ago, in notebooks that will never see the light of day...

The Sith influenced everything. Shocked? I wasn't. Prior to the Phantom Menace & long before the Attack of the Jangos, two Dark Lords conspired to bring down the Jedi Order and subjugate the galaxy. One was a master of manipulation; a genious level schemer and the other, would later be known as the wisest Sith who ever lived. Together, they would bend the force to their will, discredit and eliminate the Jedi then bring order to the discombobulated Republic. The Master declared the Rule of Two to be obsolete, then the Apprentice began to train a powerful force user (a Zabrak from Iridonia) that they had secreted away from an orphanage on the (city-planet) capital of Corsucant.

With Sidious busy as a politician and spending all of his free time tattooing training Darth Maul, the Muun devoted himself to unlocking the mysteries of the force, through obscure methods of dark Lords long since dead. An aspiring acolyte named Venamis became the first sentient victim of experimentation and through him, Plagueis mastered the art of force manipulation.... by the time he was finally allowed to expire, Venamis had already been killed and revived hundreds (if not thousands) of times. Had the Sith hopeful been able to speak, the Bith almost certainly would have begged his tormentor for permanent death. Soon after, the two Sith Lords broke from tradition and worked in harmony; an unnatural event to say the least, in an effort to touch all life in the galaxy.... so drunk on the dark side was Plagueis, that he imposed his will upon the force in an attempt to create sentient life from nothing. Perhaps the force struck back, perhaps it did not.

After the boy's conception the Sith Master sent his Apprentice on a mission to Kamino (under the guise of a Jedi Master named Sido Dyas who did not even exist) Darth Sidious placed an order for a Clone Army, in the name of the Republic. The Sith Lords turned to a former Jedi Master named Count Dooku; who had left the Order some time ago to pursue his own dark agenda, to select a template for the army in order to keep their identities secret. With Maul's terrorist-acts causing havoc in the corporate Sector, Dooku was tasked with using his charisma to their advantage, to turn the Senate inside out and create a Separatist movement. By the start of the next decade, the galaxy would be at war.

Nine months later, a prodigious child was born on Tatooine, a human male with the highest connection to the force that Jedi had ever seen sensed in another life form. Rather than take the boy to indoctrinate him into their Order, the Sith Lords decided it would be better for the Jedi to "discover" and train him during his formative years. So narrow minded and dogmatic were they, that the Sith were certain that the child of the dark side would learn to despise & loathe the restrictions that would placed upon him. In time (with proper motivation) he would turn on them, break his chains and set himself free.

At some point; Maul failed to complete a mission and was left for dead, while Dooku remained loyal to his Masters' cause. The child of the dark side was now a headstrong Jedi, one who often let his emotions get the best of him and the Sith prepared for the final stages of their plot to destroy the Jedi. Prior to becoming a Jedi Knight, young Skywalker served as an intern at the Chancellor's office, where he was befriended by a Senator named Palpatine, who cooed in the boy's ear while he undermined the lessons of the Jedi. After losing his braid, Skywalker had secretly taken a wife (who ended up being barren) so the young Jedi searched for a cure in the Jedi archives but he was not a Master and access to the archive was denied.

While escorting the new Chancellor to the Opera, Skywalker expressed his frustrations with the Jedi to Palpatine who proceeded to tell him about his Master, Plagueis the wise.... when Anakin inquired where to learn these powers of life and death, he was told that only a Sith Lord could teach him. Confident that Skywalker would join him, Sidious attempted to kill his Master while he was deep in meditation. But Plagueis had foreseen the act of betrayal and was properly prepared for the assault... utilizing the art of the small, the Muun shrunk his presence in the force until Sidious believed him to be dead. Instead of burning the body, Sidious paid respect to Plagueis and gave him a proper Sith burial.... this would be the Empire's final undoing, 50 years into the future. But that Sequel-story is for another time.

Doubtful of Palpatine's claims, Skywalker questioned the Chancellor once again and the response he got was a startling one.... Sidious revealed himself and explained how Anakin came to be. A quick search of his feelings and Skywalker knew it to be true... "that he could almost think of Palpatine as his father." After another restless night of sleep filled with many (Sidious-inspired) dreams of his dying wife, Anakin decided to join the Sith to acquire their knowledge and wipe them out from within. Thus, his life as a double agent, began. For his first lesson, Palpatine explained how to unnaturally create life in the womb of a barren woman, but before he finished he told Anakin that he never fully learned the secret to saving loved ones, because a true Lord of the Sith would never fall prey to such weakness.... he concluded by saying that he was certain Plagueis had left the information in his lab on the Hunter's moon over Korriban. That night; while his wife slept, Skywalker performed the Sith ritual and his journey towards the dark side was nearly complete.

Close to her delivery date, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi had a dream about the truth of lady-Skywalker's poorly hidden pregnancy and confronted her about it. Anakin; who was spying on them, became incensed and decided to eliminate the Jedi Master before he could inform the Jedi Council. He went to Sidious (who had foreseen a terrible ending for his prized Apprentice but refused to divulge it) for advice and they decided to set a trap for Kenobi on Sullust. Unbeknownst to Skywalker, his wife stowed herself away on Kenobi's ship.... and the rest is basically the same, except Kenobi caused Vader to stumble and he accidentally choked her to death but the droids delivered Luke the twins.

****

I'm sure KB & Alex will clean up this mess when they post proof of what really happened.
​

 

Getting all of that together took much longer than I expected. I need a nap.

 

IIRC, Yoda and the Can Cell were sold as a pair.... "to fly into battle."
In the least, i know that concept art was done... lemme look and see what I can find.

@Alex SebireFound it.

Greatest, most detailed Star Wars novel ever written. And second place isn't even in the same star system.

One hour with Venamis makes Bevel Lemelisk's life under Palpatine seem like a walk through a butterfly park.


http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Bevel_Lemelisk
(Side-note: I will be gravely disappointed if Bevel doesn't make a cameo in Rogue One.)

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Darth_Venamis

 

Yeah, THAT excerpt should be included. For educational purposes, at least.