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STAR WARS RANKING

Discussion in 'General Movie Discussion' started by Embo and His Pet Anooba, Jan 18, 2022.

  1. Embo and His Pet Anooba

    Embo and His Pet Anooba Jedi Commander

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    Here I have ranked every single Star Wars thing I have ever consumed from best to worst.


    1. Traitor:
    The best star wars thing ever created. I finished Crime and Punishment yesterday, and I would want to read this for the 1000509486948603th time as opposed to Crime and Punishment, because this book is incredible. It was the first star wars book I ever read, is like 17th in a 21 book series, and I still loved it without any context. It made jacen solo likeable. just read it read iT READ IT READ IT

    2. TESB:
    It's good. Everything's been said already. Han is at his best in this movie, the lightsaber duel is one of the best in the series, and this movie has one of the most airtight scripts I've ever seen. Still, not better than TRAITOR.

    3. Mando1:
    Basically art. The characters aren't that deep, this is before we started throwing in cameos left and right. The plot is simple, but this remains the best season of any star wars show solely due to being a separate piece of art. I can't say much about it because of that. Also the second best opening episode of any show in my opinion, only beaten by GOT.

    4. Phasma:
    In this story, a Resistance lady is captured and the guy who captured her makes her tell the story of phasma, his rival. It shows how she got to her position of power from being a lowly nomad. Then at the end the jealous guy goes to stop phasma for her evil ways so she beats the blast out of him. Really interesting story, good in every way, not really any flaws. The higher entries are just too good.

    5. ANH:
    Honestly, when I rewatch it, it isn't even that good of a movie. However, it was so revolutionary that I have to put it here.

    6. Inferno:
    Going into detail in this book series is a hassle just READ IT IT'S GOOD. Anyway in this book Jacen just ordered the arrest of his parents at his aunt's funeral, who he killed. All sorts of tomfoolery is abound. In the beginning of this series, the catalyst for jacen being a sith is when he is on a sith asteroid with another jedi, and they find a secret sith lady. So then the other jedi goes to tell the other jedi, sith lady tells jacen to search his feelings and he sees a vision that if the jedi tells luke and the other jedi, Jacen will end up killing luke. So jacen kills the jedi to stop this, which leads him spiraling towards sithiness. (Also do note that at the end of the series jacen is right, and his sithiness ends up uniting everyone towards hating him, but causing world peace)
    Towards the end of this book, some political stuff (there is a lot of political happenings in this series, but don't worry, it's better than TPM!) happens and the best choice for jacen is to bombard kashykk, with the goal of causing a worldwide inferno. This is the point where han and leia realize their son is beyond saving. On his flagship, jacen has captured ben and is using the embrace of pain on him. The embrace of pain is a yuuzhan vong torture device used on jacen in traitor. Luke shows up, and this series has been building up to a fight between them. They fight, and are suprisingly evenly matched. However, ben escapes from his bonds and shanks jacen with a knife while he is fighting luke. Jacen gets away, but only because luke has to restrain ben from trying to brutally murder jacen. This is important because throughout the entire series, luke has been worried that he has not been a good father, because ben hangs out with cool jacen, the outcast of the jedi, and they are best friends. Now ben wants to murder him, since he killed ben's mother. Oh and then the hapan home fleet show up. Jacen thinks that they are here to help him, since his lover Tenel Ka is queen of the hapans. However even she hates him now and her fleet tries to kill him, so he pisses off, having lost everything.
    It is also important to note the author problem this series has. This series has 3 authors, Aaron Allston, Karen Traviss, and Troy Denning. They alternate books, and because of this, much tonal whiplash is had. Allston is fine, but traviss has an obsession with mandalore, so when it is her turn, she shoehorns mandalorians and praises them and shows how they are gods. Denning is the worst, because when he shows up he includes as much sex and killing as he can. And he writes this book. Luckily, it works out because this book is about jacen committing wookiee war crimes.

    7. Solo: I don't want to explain too much for the things everyone knows are good so I will say one word that being
    FUN
    It is very fun. I also like han's little arc of being idealistic, and thinking he can get back with his dothraki gf. And he does and everything is looking peachy, until woody teaches him a lesson, his gf flies away, and he is turned into the less trusting han we see in ANH.

    8. Republic Commando:
    Our first game, and while the narrative is not that strong, the gameplay shines. You can customize your gun 5 different ways, you have 5 different types of grenades, you have a knife, there are a bunch of other weird guns including a geonosian laser and a trandoshan minigun. Also the mechanic of commanding your squad is really cool, so gameplay alone puts it in the 8th spot. Also it has ragdoll. I love ragdoll.

    9. Sacrifice:
    From the Legacy of the Force series. Luke has a compelling crisis concerning if he is raising his child, named Ben, correctly. The political intrigue common of this series continues, as jacen solo at this point in the story is in control of the GAG. Luke worries due to the corrupting influence of jacen, who at this point is oliver cromwell and is sort of dark sidey. Anyway, ben tells mara jade jacen is a sith and she goes to kill him. She dies, so pissed off luke thinks lumiya did it and they go fight and he angrily kills her, thinking he has avenged his wife. Hard to explain, so much better than I put it, read the series for context.

    10. CW5: Soild, the ahsoka leaving the order is the second best arc in CW, and on it's own is better than everyhing up to maybe empire. Sadly this season has the onderon and droid squad arcs, which by no means weak, bring down the phenomal season quite a bit.

    11. BF2:
    The story is ass, but the variance of star wars content is what gives it the edge. You can play as any troop in any era ever. So many maps, weapons, and ways to play. Also gorgeous. Playing as hero really makes you feel like hallway vader, and there is force push ragdoll, because if i can't push people off a cliff in a star wars game what's the point. Ironically, there is a level of this game that features luke, and while the story is ass, this portrayal of luke is spot on and is one of my favorite lukes, tied for first with st luke and legends daddy crisis luke.

    12. Betrayal:
    The first book in LOTF, where jacen kills the jedi on an asteroid. Good buildup, fun political intrigue about the secession of corellia from the GA that is the catalyst for this series.

    13. CW7: The last arc is the best CW arc. Unfortunately the martez sisters and bad batch arcs both suck. There was this one episode in the martez sisters arc where they are in pyke prison, so they escape, they sneak around, and then at the end of the episode they are put back in jail, wasting an episode.

    14. CW4: Very solid, starting with umbara this season churns out very good, but not exceptional arcs until the end of the season.

    15. R1: The villains are so fun, I wish this was the krennic story. I don't care about any of these characters, but the third act is incredible. However, any part that isn't in the third act and doesn't include krennic or vader is boring.

    16. TFA: Just really solid, han is great, everyone is great, hitler speech is great, angry kylo and his smoldering saber are great. The best duel in the ST. Really good movie, just not exceptional in my eyes.

    17. Dark Disciple: The ventress and quinlan vos love story. At this point all these entries are just solid with few flaws.

    18. Jedi Fallen Order: For its generation, it can look bad. The combat is fun, vader is great, i can push people off a cliff. Cere has scary eyes. SImple story, though I did like how even though cal has the holocron, he chose to destroy it rather than subject force sensitive children to a life of being hunted by empire people by recruiting them into his order. I do agree with @Angelman that we should reduce ice sliding in these games.

    19. CW6: One great arc (inhibitor chip), one good arc (yoda), I like clovis arc, everything else is meh.

    20. JOJK:
    Jedi Outcast Jedi Knight has an average story, i can still ragdoll people. JFO has a better story and better and more modern boss fights, republic commando has a more unique combat system, bf2 is more expansive. It is still however an incredible game that you should play NOW

    21.Invincible: A good conclusion to the series, due to the great buildup and realization that in his death jacen was right and that he did bring peace. However it is written by edgelord denning.

    22. Fury: A good book, it is this high because alema rar's death scene is a beautiful scene unworthy of annoying alema rar. also jagged fel.

    23. RBLS3: The highest season of rebels, has thrawn and his cool art gimmick, twin suns, darksaber, bo katan being an evil terrorist, emo ezra. Still, I consider a lot of rebels to be filler, and it isn't really my thing.

    24. Revelation: A nice ending where ben can be in peace with his mother's death because he hears luke talking to a force ghost of of her during the night, otherwise ok. Written by traviss, so in this book jaina trains to kill jacen with boba fett.

    25. M2:
    A cool speech by mando, bill burr. Otherwise I don't like the excessive cameos, with bo katan being the only one I really liked, mostly because since CW she has been a nationalist terrorist. Remember, she only sided with obi wan because while maul beat pre vizla in a battle that determined that he was to be the new Mandal'or, and everyone else agreed with that, she was so racist that she joined her oldest enemies because she believed only a pureblood mandalorian could sit upon the throne. Imperial chump syndrome continues here, though luckily stormtroopers are more accurate than they have ever been, due to beskar letting them hit their shots. Completely different than season 1, gideon is cool, and i hate that luke reveal. It makes the universe so much smaller, and I hate how it is a beautiful and magical moment when luke is killing robots.

    26. Thrawn Trilogy: I haven't read it in a while so I can't rank the books, but thrawn is the best character here. Overrated somewhat, thrawn has the best final words ever. BUT, IT WAS SO ARTISTICALLY DONE

    27. Exile: BoRING mostly, the climax at Gilattter IV isn't though.

    28. RBLS2: Finale is exciting, so is premiere, otherwise decent.

    29. ROTS: Really entertaining the whole way through, putting it above TLJ. TLJ is way better, but ROTS has memes on its side. John Williams and clone wars also make the great jedi purge and battle of the heroes scenes really good, instead of mildly ok.

    30. TLJ: I hate the part with holdo and poe. IT is stupid and could have been resolved if they both weren't idiots. Otherwise boring. Anything with luke is incredible, the final act is incredible I LUV LUKE. Also here rey nobody is introduced, which I really like, as it contributes to the idea that anyone could be a jedi. Which is also why I love broom boy.

    31. Bloodlines: Jacen suddenly kills boba fett's kid, and starts his evil transition. Written by traviss so too many random mandalorians. And the thing is only traviss writes about them, so after a book, they just kicked out of the story until traviss is back in control, but by that time the story has shifted dramatically, so traviss crams them in again.

    32. Tempest: I don't remember why i put this here, I assume it was because this book deals heavily with tenel ka and jacen, and is written by horndog denning, so that's probably why.

    33. CW3: Arc troopers is good, ahsoka padawan arc is really good. Mortis arc is trash, everything else I really enjoy, but in actuality it is trash. I just really like CW, even the trash.

    34. RBLS4: I hate this season, it's so disjointed, wolves and a door is cool, the finale is annoying, i hate the action, BLEAURGH In actuality I don't hate it it since the only bad star wars thing is TPM i just heavily dislike.

    35. BB1: Crosshair is great, omega is surprisingly great and is better than grogu. One scene I liked was in the finale, when az runs out of power. I thought they would just let him die, but omega, being a hero, would save him or die trying. Then crosshair, having talked with and now appreciating omega, saves her and az. Republic commando cameo is cool, but othewise the cameos really shrink the universe. Felt directionless at some times. Sheenec Fand didn't need to be here, cad bane was cool and the one cameo I will allow. I wish tech died in CW and was replaced by Echo, because they both fill the same role and both get no development. Wrecker is less annoying.

    36. NJO: THe book series overall is 21 books long, so I'll review the series as a whole. Contains the best starwars thing ever, but is quite a mixed bag.

    37. CW2: Has embo, the deserter, and is otherwise quite average.

    38. CW1: I find jar jar really funny, this has rookies and is otherwise ok. Still the worst of CW.

    39. RBLS1: Just boring in some episodes, while not having the laughably bad moments of jar jar that make CW1 so fun. I wish this was the kanan and hera show and didn't have any stupid kids, goombas, or mandalorians. The inquistor is really cool and the final battle between kanan and the grand inquistor is one of the best in SW in my opinion. Unfortunately he feels weak because he can't ever kill one of these stupid rebels. Come to think of I don't think any inquisitor has killed any jedi in any of the video games, books, comics and tv shows they have been in. Though it does makes sense since they are all failed padawans.

    40. AOTC: The first part is just insane and I love it. i like the part where yoda and the younglings find kamino. Some memes, the final battle is fun, otherwise boring.

    41. ROTJ: Surprising to see it this low, but aside from the final vader fight, I don't like anything in this movie. Han seems to have a different writer, maybe it was the carbonite, and isn't very funny. Honestly just really boring.

    42. ROS: Good things are poe, knights of ren look cool, and babu frik. Otherwise I dislike it. I also liked rey nobody, so they made her a palpatine and made it so that to be a force user you basically have to be part of a bloodline. I don't really like the choreography. I also fell that palpatine being back somewhat diminishes ROTJ. Oh and I wish they hadn't caved to the neckbeards and had kept rose in the movie, as opposed to what they did, giving her one line

    43. CW MOVIE: In book experience outranks everything and nothing else. Sometimes obi wan will say something funny. Ahsoka will be annoying and gremlinlike and sometimes that will be funny. Climbing the the wall was cool. Everything else is bad, the animation sucks too. However it is not boring so it goes over TPM.

    44. TPM: If it is not podracing or darth maul or jar jar it is boring. Not that many memes, just really boring.


    ok feel free to disagree rotta is very cute
     
    #1 Embo and His Pet Anooba, Jan 18, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2022
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  2. Angelman

    Angelman Servant of the Whills -- Slave to the Muses
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    LOL, I adore that you like RotS over TLJ because of the memes :D Love you, man!

    While I rank SW stuff quite differently, I do agree with much of this (Omega is definitely a better character than Grogu - she's one of the strongest characters in Star Wars! Grogu is cute, though), disagree with some things, and haven't read half the books. All in all, a very interesting read :)
     
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  3. Embo and His Pet Anooba

    Embo and His Pet Anooba Jedi Commander

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    do you love rotta as well
     
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  4. Embo and His Pet Anooba

    Embo and His Pet Anooba Jedi Commander

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    oh also cw1 has ambush which is a really good yoda episode
     
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  5. Angelman

    Angelman Servant of the Whills -- Slave to the Muses
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    No, not so much, but then again, I have hardly seen him... they sey he smells, though! :confused:

    Now, rats on the other hand, those I do love! :D
     
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