1. Notification emails are working properly again. Please check your email spam folder and if you see any emails from the Cantina there, make sure to mark them as "Not Spam". This will help a lot to whitelist the emails and to stop them going to spam.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. IMPORTANT! To be able to create new threads and rate posts, you need to have at least 30 posts in The Cantina.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Before posting a new thread, check the list with similar threads that will appear when you start typing the thread's title.
    Dismiss Notice

Star Wars:Shadows-my book

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *Definetly Not A Sith Lord*, Jun 29, 2016.

  1. *Definetly Not A Sith Lord*

    *Definetly Not A Sith Lord* Force Sensitive

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2015
    Posts:
    277
    Likes Received:
    3,718
    Trophy Points:
    13,617
    Credits:
    4,452
    Ratings:
    +3,965 / 4 / -7
    I've recently started writing a SW book called Star Wars:Shadows of the Skywalkers. My summary(still would recommend reading the chapters even if the summary sounds displeasing-I still have a problem to write a good one :D ):

    They were lost.
    They turned on the people they loved and would've fought for before...turned to te Dark Side.
    Is this what they wanted? Lose who they were to their new faces? To Darth Vader and Kylo Ren?
    They have to face their past to fulfill their destinies'. They have to accept their past..or destroy it.
    They soon understand it isn't a simple decision they can make.It's like them:not just black and white.
    Darth Vader. Kylo Ren. Their shadows will always haunt them and try to hold them from their darkness.




    If you don't know,I'm 15 and live in a non-everyday speaking country so it's possible that the vocabulary could be raw(improving on that). Here's the cover to get you interested :D wp_ss_20160626_0001.png


    The book is available to read on Wattpad(obviously for free).All you need is a Wattpad account I presume(You can log in using one of your social media accounts).
    Would mean a lot if you would give it a try and criticize what I did wrong-always trying to improve it.
    Link:
    https://www.wattpad.com/story/76359901-star-wars-shadows

    #MTFBWY

    Update:Had improved,in my opinion,a lot since I posted this thread and have a beta reader @wickedteam who helps out so much, so it should be much easier to read without seeing typos' etc.
     
    #1 *Definetly Not A Sith Lord*, Jun 29, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2016
    • Like Like x 2
    • Original Original x 1
  2. Dork Lord of the Bith

    Dork Lord of the Bith PhD in Sith Ethics

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2016
    Posts:
    371
    Likes Received:
    8,919
    Trophy Points:
    89,567
    Credits:
    7,518
    Ratings:
    +11,519 / 0 / -0
    Read through the first part just now.:)You are right that the vocabulary,dialogue and sentencing can use some fixing,but even so,the text is perfectly understandable.I do like where you are going with Vader's inner conflict,In my opinion it fits the character well at that particular time period.From what I understand,there are going to be some Kylo parts that mirror Vader's state of thinking,and that should be interesting to see.Generally speaking,if you enjoy writing this,people will enjoy reading it,so go forth and make each chapter better than the last.Nice work!
     
    • Like Like x 3
  3. *Definetly Not A Sith Lord*

    *Definetly Not A Sith Lord* Force Sensitive

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2015
    Posts:
    277
    Likes Received:
    3,718
    Trophy Points:
    13,617
    Credits:
    4,452
    Ratings:
    +3,965 / 4 / -7
    Thanks! Every chapter will definitely be better! Just thought: Is it difficult to read? Like the sentencing, vocabulary, could put people off?
     
    #3 *Definetly Not A Sith Lord*, Jun 30, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2016
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Dork Lord of the Bith

    Dork Lord of the Bith PhD in Sith Ethics

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2016
    Posts:
    371
    Likes Received:
    8,919
    Trophy Points:
    89,567
    Credits:
    7,518
    Ratings:
    +11,519 / 0 / -0
    Unless a reader is of the mindset that a single spelling mistake will ruin the whole experience,then no,it's not difficult at all,as I said it is perfectly understandable without trying.Of course,since it's fan fiction and people aren't expected to pay to read the book,the most important part is telling the story you want to tell,raher than telling it in a pretty way,and you are doing well at that.One thing that would really benefit the book is making the dialogue sequences a little more realistic,because they sometimes feel a bit off,like why would the character say that at that specific point to that specific person e.g.:Emperor speaking with Vader sequence felt unnatural.You're on a good track,keep it up!
     
    • Like Like x 3
  5. *Definetly Not A Sith Lord*

    *Definetly Not A Sith Lord* Force Sensitive

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2015
    Posts:
    277
    Likes Received:
    3,718
    Trophy Points:
    13,617
    Credits:
    4,452
    Ratings:
    +3,965 / 4 / -7
    Yikes,I'll have to look into that dialogue again. I'm also 100% sure I'll be rewriting the whole book once I've finished it(correcting,adding stuff etc). Thanks for the thoughts!
     
    • Like Like x 3
Loading...

Share This Page