The Cantina Mental Health Thread

So I had this idea: other than DM's and status updates, there's no real place to talk about stuff that might be weighing us down. This can be things related to Star Wars or just general things that we may need to get off our chest. I've been a part of something similar in a few other places in my Internet communities, so I'd like to see it happen here as well. No one is perfectly well-adjusted 100% of the time, and sometimes it really helps to talk through some things.

Take note: This is not a place to air personal grievances against other members, nor is it a place to bring up drama from this site or any other; furthermore, any bashing against a member or another site will be reported. This is a place to air any troubles you might be having, or to reach out if you might need help. It can be as big or as small of a problem as you feel comfortable sharing; if you are having a problem and do not feel comfortable sharing it publicly, please feel free to Direct Message me. I'm no professional, but I'm a good listener.

I think we're one of the better communities on the Internet; I feel comfortable talking to all of you, and I hope you all feel the same. This will be here if anyone needs to reach out; from having a bad day to feeling fatigue over speculation to something serious, I'd like us all to be here for each other.

If you are having a problem that you feel comfortable discussing in public, please feel free to post here in the thread. If you need to talk to someone but are not comfortable talking in public, please feel free to Direct Message any of the members listed below. If you just need a little positivity, you'll find a great deal here from many of our wonderful members; feel free to peruse the thread and add any thoughts you might have .

(If anyone else would like to volunteer in a similar fashion, please feel free to sound off within the thread.)

Here's an ongoing list of members you can contact if you need to talk.

- @Luuke22
- @Jake Wolfe
- @WookieeMonster
- @Fartkraum
- @Fiddlestyx
- @SKYWATER (welcome to talk to all, but particularly if you're Scandinavian and need someone to to in your native tongue )

Also, listen to your WookieeMonster: if you are thinking of harming yourself, please immediately seek professional help. We're here to listen, but we can only do so much.

Fiddlestyx highly recommends the following website if you need help now: http://www.crisistextline.org/how-it-works/
http://www.crisistextline.org/

From our wonderful Suspira: A list of help lines and websites in various countries, including the USA, Canada, Spain, and Australia. As the article says, you are not alone, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

3/9/16 edit: Hey everyone! I fixed a couple broken links, thanks to @Fiddlestyx for pointing them out. I apologize for leaving this place so suddenly, but I'm back and I'll do my best to help if I can. Remember, this thread isn't just for "emergencies;" if you need to talk, or just want to, feel free to post! I guarantee that someone will respond .

3/25/16 edit: Hey! Just wanted to share a link with everyone. It's @Light Savior_47 's "How To Be A Friendly Cantina Member" thread! If you are in a difficult situation with another member and don't know how to handle it, feel free to go here: https://thecantina.starwarsnewsnet....member-and-a-good-friend-in-the-cantina.9178/. Or just go there and post about some of the great experiences you've had here in the Cantina!

 

@Jake Wolfe and @WookieeMonster ,thanks guys! I've added your names to the OP.

And WookieMonster, great addition; as you can see, I've added that to the OP as well.

 

Truth be told, this thread was a form of self-therapy for me. I struggle with some stuff and was feeling pretty down last night, so the idea for this ended up helping me get through much of that. I wasn't sure how it would be received, or if anyone would notice it, but you all have already made it a much better place than I envisioned and I thank you all!

I totally agree. This place is special, I've said it before and I stick to that. We all have disagreements and there's the occasional bad egg, but we've managed to build a community that encourages engaging discussion over wild trolling and I feel that the experience has brought (and continues to bring!) many of us closer than we thought possible when joining a Star Wars forum. I too think of you all as friends, ones that I may one day even meet in person if I'm so lucky; if not, the experiences we share here are more than worth the time and effort, and I look forward to being a part of this place for years to come as the franchise continues through an unprecedented age.

And shout out to @Viral Hide , who I consulted about this before creating the thread! Thanks for making this place a reality, and for maintaining such a wonderful environment here in the Cantina!

I like that, I really do. I'm actually going to edit the OP with more suggestions if anyone who's struggling happens to find this place.

 

Trust me, I know the feeling. Let me answer your story with one of my own.

As a straight-A student throughout high school, I never thought of myself as someone with mental problems, but the reality hit me hard during my freshman year of college. I went in that year thinking I could do no wrong, and that attitude allowed me to miss every single class until I was left with no choice but to head home. Since then, I've tried community college and various jobs, but I've never really succeeded in any of them. I'm extremely self-defeating; I know what I can and can't do, and I excel when I'm in my element but that element is not really anything that most of society consider useful. I'm depressed and socially anxious, but I never know if it's because of my failures or to blame for them; I tell myself that there's no real narrative to life, that I forge my own destiny without having to subscribe to anyone else's plans, but I look at my friends, my peers, and they're all years ahead of where I am. At 23, I should have been graduating this year with a good idea of where I'm going in life; instead, I'm further behind than I was at 18.

Now, I don't tell you all any of this because I'm looking for pity or to depress you, but to make a point: everyone is a little messed up. Everyone has their own perspective on life, and regardless of how successful they are or aren't, there is something "wrong" with them. Some people are so messed up they can't function within society, other have problems that they've learned to deal with. Mental health is not an "On/Off" switch, but a spectrum upon which we place an average that we call "healthy."

As far as your guilt goes, @Jake Wolfe is correct: we all experience it and the trick is to learn how to stop listening to that guilt and forge ahead. I know how difficult it is; I have days where I feel like I'm just wasting everyone's time by just being alive. But no matter what, you have to remember that you do matter, that it's okay to screw up, and that, at the very least, you have a community here that respects and values your voice.

And obviously your post wasn't too long .

 

Good idea, @Suspiria ! Included the link in the OP.

 

Wow. I don't want to overstate this, but you sir are a hero.

Try not to get down on yourself; you may want to blame yourself for your daughter's condition and your ex-wife's decision, but the truth is that neither were within your control. You're doing what you have to for your daughter's sake and that's what matters.

My mom worked as a special education teacher for over 30 years; throughout my life, I've been around children and adults who suffered from a whole range of disabilities. I know first hand how difficult it can be sometimes, but I also know that you may be surprised when you least expect it. Keep doing what you're doing, keep forging ahead with your relationship with your daughter, and some day she'll find a way to express herself to you.

As for her mother...I can sympathize. My brother had a wife who acted very similar, though the only excuse she had was she'd rather be a drug addict than a proper mother. Some people just aren't meant to be parents; it's tragic for your daughter's sake, but maybe someday the two of them will reconcile. Either way, the fact that you're still there for her means more than you'll ever know; I reiterate, you're a hero man.

And Michigan? That's where I am! Quite a state, eh? (heavy sarcasm). That's pretty awesome that you used to tour with bands! I'm an amateur musician myself, so mad props to you for that!