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The Cantina Mental Health Thread

Discussion in 'Random Discussion' started by Luuke22, Jul 29, 2015.

  1. Luuke22

    Luuke22 1030th Lieutenant (Jr Mod)

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    So I had this idea: other than DM's and status updates, there's no real place to talk about stuff that might be weighing us down. This can be things related to Star Wars or just general things that we may need to get off our chest. I've been a part of something similar in a few other places in my Internet communities, so I'd like to see it happen here as well. No one is perfectly well-adjusted 100% of the time, and sometimes it really helps to talk through some things.

    Take note: This is not a place to air personal grievances against other members, nor is it a place to bring up drama from this site or any other; furthermore, any bashing against a member or another site will be reported. This is a place to air any troubles you might be having, or to reach out if you might need help. It can be as big or as small of a problem as you feel comfortable sharing; if you are having a problem and do not feel comfortable sharing it publicly, please feel free to Direct Message me. I'm no professional, but I'm a good listener.

    I think we're one of the better communities on the Internet; I feel comfortable talking to all of you, and I hope you all feel the same. This will be here if anyone needs to reach out; from having a bad day to feeling fatigue over speculation to something serious, I'd like us all to be here for each other.

    If you are having a problem that you feel comfortable discussing in public, please feel free to post here in the thread. If you need to talk to someone but are not comfortable talking in public, please feel free to Direct Message any of the members listed below. If you just need a little positivity, you'll find a great deal here from many of our wonderful members; feel free to peruse the thread and add any thoughts you might have :).

    (If anyone else would like to volunteer in a similar fashion, please feel free to sound off within the thread.)

    Here's an ongoing list of members you can contact if you need to talk.

    - @Luuke22
    - @Jake Wolfe
    - @WookieeMonster
    - @Fartkraum
    - @Fiddlestyx
    - @SKYWATER (welcome to talk to all, but particularly if you're Scandinavian and need someone to to in your native tongue :) )

    Also, listen to your WookieeMonster: if you are thinking of harming yourself, please immediately seek professional help. We're here to listen, but we can only do so much.

    Fiddlestyx highly recommends the following website if you need help now: http://www.crisistextline.org/how-it-works/
    http://www.crisistextline.org/

    From our wonderful Suspira: A list of help lines and websites in various countries, including the USA, Canada, Spain, and Australia. As the article says, you are not alone, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

    3/9/16 edit: Hey everyone! I fixed a couple broken links, thanks to @Fiddlestyx for pointing them out. I apologize for leaving this place so suddenly, but I'm back and I'll do my best to help if I can. Remember, this thread isn't just for "emergencies;" if you need to talk, or just want to, feel free to post! I guarantee that someone will respond (obi-wan ghost).

    3/25/16 edit: Hey! Just wanted to share a link with everyone. It's @Light Savior_47 's "How To Be A Friendly Cantina Member" thread! If you are in a difficult situation with another member and don't know how to handle it, feel free to go here: https://thecantina.starwarsnewsnet....member-and-a-good-friend-in-the-cantina.9178/. Or just go there and post about some of the great experiences you've had here in the Cantina!
     
    #1 Luuke22, Jul 29, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2016
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  2. Jake Wolfe

    Jake Wolfe Rebel Official

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    I would definitely be open to being an ear, and voice of advice to anyone who might need it :)
     
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  3. WookieeMonster

    WookieeMonster \m/ \m/
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    Count me in @Luuke22, like you said, I'm no professional. But my ears are always here if anyone needs a pair.
    ** But if you are seriously thinking of hurting yourself then PLEASE SEEK professional help right away \m/ **
     
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  4. Luuke22

    Luuke22 1030th Lieutenant (Jr Mod)

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    @Jake Wolfe and @WookieeMonster ,thanks guys! I've added your names to the OP.

    And WookieMonster, great addition; as you can see, I've added that to the OP as well.
     
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  5. Grand Admiral Kraum

    Grand Admiral Kraum Force Sensitive

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    I'm also hear to listen and give advice if anyone is suffering from depression/existential crisis and all that jazz.. Just don't bring up the prequels
     
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  6. Fiddlestyx

    Fiddlestyx Rebelscum

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    As someone who suffers from major depression and has attempted suicide in the past, please don't do it. There are people out there to help you.
    Feel free to add me to the list.

    Also, if anyone needs immediate help please check out http://www.crisistextline.org/get-help-now/
     
    #6 Fiddlestyx, Jul 29, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2015
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  7. WookieeMonster

    WookieeMonster \m/ \m/
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    LOL right on \m/

    \m/ Cool link \m/

    @Fartkraum & @Fiddlestyx I'm sure @Luuke22 will add you guys to the list \m/ \m/
     
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  8. Suspiria

    Suspiria Rebel Official

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    Seeing this warms my anxiety-stricken heart, it really does.
     
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  9. It's a Trap

    It's a Trap Rebel Official

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    This place truly is special. I can't think of any other internet environment that would have something like this! It's nice to know that although we can disagree on all things Star Wars, we care enough about each other to create a place of refuge and hope like this. Although I don't know anyone on here personally I think of everybody as friends. This is really cool. The cantina truly does stand apart. Kudos to @Luuke22 for thinking of this and thanks to @Viral Hide and all the mods here for both providing for our voracious Star Wars appetite and giving us a safe place to discuss the movies we love so much.
     
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  10. Jake Wolfe

    Jake Wolfe Rebel Official

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    A refuge, huh? I like that....

    This thread could also be a great place for optimism and positivity!
     
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  11. Luuke22

    Luuke22 1030th Lieutenant (Jr Mod)

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    Truth be told, this thread was a form of self-therapy for me. I struggle with some stuff and was feeling pretty down last night, so the idea for this ended up helping me get through much of that. I wasn't sure how it would be received, or if anyone would notice it, but you all have already made it a much better place than I envisioned and I thank you all!

    I totally agree. This place is special, I've said it before and I stick to that. We all have disagreements and there's the occasional bad egg, but we've managed to build a community that encourages engaging discussion over wild trolling and I feel that the experience has brought (and continues to bring!) many of us closer than we thought possible when joining a Star Wars forum. I too think of you all as friends, ones that I may one day even meet in person if I'm so lucky; if not, the experiences we share here are more than worth the time and effort, and I look forward to being a part of this place for years to come as the franchise continues through an unprecedented age.

    And shout out to @Viral Hide , who I consulted about this before creating the thread! Thanks for making this place a reality, and for maintaining such a wonderful environment here in the Cantina!

    I like that, I really do. I'm actually going to edit the OP with more suggestions if anyone who's struggling happens to find this place.
     
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  12. Suspiria

    Suspiria Rebel Official

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    Alright, here goes. Last night during my piano lesson I kept messing up on a song and having to repeat the beginning over and over again. I was feeling ashamed, and guilty that I kept screwing up and feeling that I was bothering my teacher. When I feel overly guilty I apologize too much, but he kept saying that I didn't need to. He was actually very encouraging and I'm thankful for it (my mom also says I feel overly guilty all the time).

    I worry since my dad's side of the family is a little messed up (with him being one of the few bright spots) that me and my brothers might inherit some of those problems.

    Hope this post isn't too long!
     
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  13. Jake Wolfe

    Jake Wolfe Rebel Official

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    My girlfriend has struggled a lot with, I guess what I'd call "unnecessary guilt", so I understand that need to "get it right", and not "waste everyone's time". But we all mess up, and we all need teaching and practice, and I for one have quite a history of failure so far in my adult life, and I only graduated in 2013. But the most important thing to remember is that you've got to keep that momentum going.. Keep trying, and don't give in to that negative side of your mind, because even the greatest have failed, or struggled, or had to start out slow.

    And never forget that you're unique, in the fact that there's only one of you. Nobody else is quite like you, and that means you aren't somehow destined to repeat anyone else's mistakes, or become like they are. Your future is completely up to you. "There is no fate but what we make."
     
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  14. Luuke22

    Luuke22 1030th Lieutenant (Jr Mod)

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    Trust me, I know the feeling. Let me answer your story with one of my own.

    As a straight-A student throughout high school, I never thought of myself as someone with mental problems, but the reality hit me hard during my freshman year of college. I went in that year thinking I could do no wrong, and that attitude allowed me to miss every single class until I was left with no choice but to head home. Since then, I've tried community college and various jobs, but I've never really succeeded in any of them. I'm extremely self-defeating; I know what I can and can't do, and I excel when I'm in my element but that element is not really anything that most of society consider useful. I'm depressed and socially anxious, but I never know if it's because of my failures or to blame for them; I tell myself that there's no real narrative to life, that I forge my own destiny without having to subscribe to anyone else's plans, but I look at my friends, my peers, and they're all years ahead of where I am. At 23, I should have been graduating this year with a good idea of where I'm going in life; instead, I'm further behind than I was at 18.

    Now, I don't tell you all any of this because I'm looking for pity or to depress you, but to make a point: everyone is a little messed up. Everyone has their own perspective on life, and regardless of how successful they are or aren't, there is something "wrong" with them. Some people are so messed up they can't function within society, other have problems that they've learned to deal with. Mental health is not an "On/Off" switch, but a spectrum upon which we place an average that we call "healthy."

    As far as your guilt goes, @Jake Wolfe is correct: we all experience it and the trick is to learn how to stop listening to that guilt and forge ahead. I know how difficult it is; I have days where I feel like I'm just wasting everyone's time by just being alive. But no matter what, you have to remember that you do matter, that it's okay to screw up, and that, at the very least, you have a community here that respects and values your voice.

    And obviously your post wasn't too long :p.
     
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  15. Suspiria

    Suspiria Rebel Official

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    Thanks guys, I appreciate your words! It's good to know that my feelings aren't unique to me.

    I feel like we should also put up some numbers for support hotlines too.
     
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  16. Suspiria

    Suspiria Rebel Official

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  17. Luuke22

    Luuke22 1030th Lieutenant (Jr Mod)

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    Good idea, @Suspiria ! Included the link in the OP.
     
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  18. WookieeMonster

    WookieeMonster \m/ \m/
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    WookieeMonster is no different than a lot of people, I to deal with Depression.

    I am a single father to a child with special needs. My daughter lives with Asperger's Syndrome, Autism. I, as her father have dealt with, and am proud to deal with any and all aspects of this with her for the rest of my life \m/
    But one aspect that is really hard to deal with is the one little detail that many parents take for granite. My daughter has never said she loves me. She will probably never say this to me. It is very hard for my daughter to show the tiniest of emotion. Much less expressing any emotions of love for those around her. I will never get to hear my daughter say "I love you." And I will never get to jokingly reply "I know." It breaks my heart every time I sit and think about it. I go through some pretty tough times where I beat myself up, a lot. I blame myself for her condition and situation.

    When my daughter started to show signs that she was different than most children we went and had her diagnosed at the request of our Dr. this is when things got worse for our family. My wife (her Mother) at the time decided to leave us. I used to be a musician, played a lot of shows with some well known bands. It was my career. We lived a very active life for the most part, going out with friends a lot. Having our daughter slowed all this down. Then when she started showing signs that something was wrong and she was diagnosed everything came to a sudden stop. My ex-wife couldn't handle this lifestyle. The bar and the party meant more to her. Now I'm a grown man. I waited to have a child late in life, I can handle all of this. But my daughter couldn't. She didn't understand what was going on. When my then wife left, I had to give up everything to be there for my daughter. Now I can't leave her side without her having panic attacks. She thinks I will leave and never come back like her Mom did. And if I had it to do all over again, I would still make the same decision. It's been a few years and she hasn't seen her mother since the day she left. I even went so far as to move to Michigan, closer to where her Mother lives so they could see each other. Now, after 3 years we are getting ready to move back to Idaho.

    I blame myself, as a Husband I couldn't keep my family together. As a Father I can't help my daughter it feels like sometimes. This gets me depressed a lot. What makes it all even harder is the fact that I can't let my daughter see me get depressed.

    \m/ \m/
     
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  19. Luuke22

    Luuke22 1030th Lieutenant (Jr Mod)

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    Wow. I don't want to overstate this, but you sir are a hero.

    Try not to get down on yourself; you may want to blame yourself for your daughter's condition and your ex-wife's decision, but the truth is that neither were within your control. You're doing what you have to for your daughter's sake and that's what matters.

    My mom worked as a special education teacher for over 30 years; throughout my life, I've been around children and adults who suffered from a whole range of disabilities. I know first hand how difficult it can be sometimes, but I also know that you may be surprised when you least expect it. Keep doing what you're doing, keep forging ahead with your relationship with your daughter, and some day she'll find a way to express herself to you.

    As for her mother...I can sympathize. My brother had a wife who acted very similar, though the only excuse she had was she'd rather be a drug addict than a proper mother. Some people just aren't meant to be parents; it's tragic for your daughter's sake, but maybe someday the two of them will reconcile. Either way, the fact that you're still there for her means more than you'll ever know; I reiterate, you're a hero man.

    And Michigan? That's where I am! Quite a state, eh? (heavy sarcasm). That's pretty awesome that you used to tour with bands! I'm an amateur musician myself, so mad props to you for that!
     
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  20. ChewbaccasPrivates

    ChewbaccasPrivates Clone Commander

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    Hello Ive been bakerized 3 times not because im crazy because in the state of florida some one can call 911 and have 15 gun toting storm troopers show up at your door.1st time i Was strapped to A gurney and molested by the male nurses, They asked if I was deppreseesed (of corse i was after that) but i said no they releasesed me in 2 hospital gowns i waked over 10 miles home 2nd time i was under imperial deletion I was in with A Vietnam vett who was lucky to be alive I did the nurses job of adjusting his bed helping him to the bathroom,this was all with a pain full needle in my arm.The 3rd time wasy May the 4th. did A criminal act in hopes I could go to jail instead being bakerized with 20 bucks in my pants and they said they lost it,I was in A different Baker Act Section and had sex with this herion junkie around my age
    --- Double Post Merged, Jul 31, 2015, Original Post Date: Jul 31, 2015 ---
    I became deppresed after every one of these incidents but I knew not to show that or I would of been held captured longer or put on Palpitine's Anti depressants that make you want to kill yourself or other people
     
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