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HUMOR Walking Out on Star Wars

Discussion in 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' started by Darth Goofy, Mar 30, 2015.

  1. Darth Goofy

    Darth Goofy Clone Commander

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    A number of Episode VII spoilers, or at least the speculation about those spoilers, have rubbed some of the Star Wars fan community the wrong way (floating lightsaber, the death or sparse screen time for key characters, etc). Some people have even said they'll "walk out" of the theater if they don't like some of the things they see on screen in December. It's understandable...we've all had our own idea of what the sequels should be in our heads for many years (I played out my own Episode VII with action figures many times as a kid). But is there any way that the following scenario could play itself out?

    Major Star Wars fan (let's call him JOE) spends months online, posting in forums and gathering info on Episode VII from all the top sites (like this one !!!). He buys all the books, action figures, t-shirts and other merchandise leading up the film's release. He's even planned ahead...scheduling his vacation from work so he can spend a week camping out in full Jedi regalia so he can be first in line on December 18.

    Joe is serious about Star Wars. He's waited 30 years for this moment.

    Finally, the day arrives. Joe can feel his excitement build as he hands over his ticket and enters the theater. The lights dim and the words he has been waiting to see for so long finally appear on the big screen. "Long ago in a galaxy far, far away..."

    Joe cheers along with the crowd as John Williams' iconic score blares and the opening crawl scrolls up the screen. This is it! Star Wars has returned!

    And then...

    A lightsaber floats across the screen.

    "They actually did the lightsaber thing," Joe mutters to himself, staring blankly as the object drifts towards a planet's surface. "Huh."

    With that, Joe stands up and slowly walks towards the exit, dumping his plastic lightsaber in the trash on his way out. A lightsaber in space? It makes no sense! For Joe, Star Wars is forever ruined.

    Okay...Joe's reaction might be a little extreme (lol). But seriously, is there anything that will make any of you simply get up and walk out on this film? I've heard people threaten it, but would any of you actually do it? Just curious.
     
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  2. MarsPhoenix

    MarsPhoenix Sith Psychiatrist

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    That's a funny one Goofy :)

    Well, for my part, the only reason I would walk out on Star Wars 7 is an urge to pee or diarrhea
     
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  3. Bluestreaking

    Bluestreaking Imperial Grand Admiral with Bluish skin
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    Seriously walk out? Never. I couldn't even force myself to walk out on twilight, if my friends had made me see Fifty Shades I might've though, out of respect for friends I have in BDSM.

    Things that would make me want to walk out?

    Kylo Ren Solo, and I will stand by that even if I'm the only one who hates it.

    Good guy Kylo Ren

    Secret Agent Finn

    Asokha

    Boba "Adriaaaaaaaan" Fett, as in Sylvester Stallone as Boba Fett

    Carrie Fisher and the return of the metal bikini

    Finn Callrisian

    Any form of JarJar cameo
     
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  4. MarsPhoenix

    MarsPhoenix Sith Psychiatrist

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    The only movie I walked out... and I was hysterical, was the first Harry Potter movie.... I was angry.
    I survived 50 shades, Meet Joe Black, Lethal Weapon 3, Austin Power II & Nothing Hill

    The only concern I have.... since time is passing by and I am getting older... I am planning in waiting in lines with Star Wars fans for hours, just for the sake of nostalgia. When the midnight screening starts... I am afraid I may fall asleep. I think I might bring some Wake-Up pills with me, just in case.
     
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  5. Darth Lexor Kai

    Darth Lexor Kai General of the Future Folk
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    no way in hell im walking out. lol. ill probably love it even if its bad
     
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  6. Grand Master Galen Marek

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    I agree after waiting over a year I would not walk out because I expected it to be a good movie.
     
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  7. RBanks

    RBanks Guest

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    Maybe if the building was on fire I'd consider walking out.

    Otherwise, I'll be there for the duration.:D
     
    #7 RBanks, Mar 30, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 30, 2015
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  8. Grand Admiral Kraum

    Grand Admiral Kraum Force Sensitive

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    I'll walk out if Jar Jar or a similar character is involved, if the CGI is as poor as Attack Of The Clones or the original cast get killed off before they get justifiable screen time/action
     
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  9. Grand Master Galen Marek

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    I guess you don't like a clumsy cast.
     
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  10. Pastor Barndog

    Pastor Barndog Force Attuned

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    You are a special kind of stubborn.
     
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  11. PoeReyMi

    PoeReyMi Rebel General

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    There is little that they could possibly do (within reason...) that could keep me from seeing this movie several times.

    Edit: Although I typically don't walk out of movies. I just fall asleep. Or just laugh my butt off the whole time.

    Fell asleep in Speed Racer, Land of the Lost, Wanderlust...Laughed my butt off at all of the Twilight movies.
     
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  12. Bluestreaking

    Bluestreaking Imperial Grand Admiral with Bluish skin
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    And I will be a special kind of vindicated when I am right in the end hahaha
     
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  13. Pastor Barndog

    Pastor Barndog Force Attuned

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    I am sure when you learn that Ren Solo's title is Kylo you will indeed be vindicated that there are no non hyphenated 3 part names, but it will be a hollow vindication cause you know he's a Solo;)

    Also if Ahsoka was cutting down gold bikini Leia and Jar Jar I think you would forgive the issues.
     
  14. Helkish

    Helkish Clone Commander

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    I actually fell asleep for most of ROTS. Had I actually enjoyed the first part I would have tried to stay awake.
     
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  15. Grand Master Galen Marek

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    I know I only stayed awake during order 66 & the lightsaber duels my gf had to nudge me awake every time I drifted off.
     
  16. ThePurloinedFowl

    ThePurloinedFowl Rebel Commander

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    I will certainly give the film a full viewing, though if I hate it, I will feel its legitimacy and my investment in it draining out of me with each excruciating second. ;) Though frankly, many of us have already been through this, with The Phantom Menace 20 years ago. As with that film and its sequel, I sat throughout the first one and boycotted the second. I finally saw it after seeing ROTS in the theatre.

    I really hope it doesn't come to that. ;)
     
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  17. Grand Admiral Kraum

    Grand Admiral Kraum Force Sensitive

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    Seriously! I recently tried to watch all the films through again and I can say that ROTS categorically has the worst opening act of any Star Wars movie, I was falling asleep after 5 minutes.
     
  18. Master Raze Golladio

    Master Raze Golladio Rebel General

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    There's not a single thing that would ever make me walk out of the cinema during TFA. But if it starts getting crappy like TPM, I'd sit and scoff at and criticise the rest of the film the whole way through (quietly, of course, so as not to upset others seeing the film :p ). But beyond that, I'd sit it out and then just trash it online with the rest of you. :D
     
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  19. DarthPilkington

    DarthPilkington Rebel Official

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    i've only ever walked out of a cinema before the movie ended once and it was over the second Narnia movie, Prince Caspian. it was the scene towards the end that suddenly had some chick, like Hillary Duff maybe, singing a guitar song over the scene. way to break the atmosphere, guys! what a load of blast that movie was!

    Tree of Life also sucked a big one, but i saw that on a plane so all i could do was angrily switch it to The Other Guys and forever grumble about my wasted time. you know what makes flying coach suck more than it already does? Tree of Life.

    in all honesty, i think i'll have to stick it out the whole way through, even if something unforgivably bad happens. i'll just end up on here with a laundry list of faults and slowly vent my frustration away. i'd be so pissed if this movie sucks! you have any idea how much time i waste on any given day reading up on this blast??

    so, what would be unforgivably bad?
    1) lame ass modern guitar chick songs instead of a normal score.
    2) anything too cheesy; a broad stroke, i know, but if it's too cheesy i will definitely not be impressed.
    3) secretly a Tree of Life sequel.
     
    #19 DarthPilkington, Mar 30, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2015
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  20. Count...your toes

    Count...your toes Rebel General

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    I've stated before that the floating hand is a deal breaker for me. I stopped short of saying I'll walk out. If I actually see it, I think I'll be in shock. If they can't somehow redeem themselves by the time I regain my senses, I'll leave. I'll just feel insulted if I'm supposed to buy into something so stupid. Ill wall it off like it never happened, live in denile, and keep my childhood memories. I won't risk them not having what they mean to me.
     
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