Which Character Should Young Boys Aspire to in Force Awakens

Like I said, it depends on environment, if it's full of a##holes, I would certainly worry. But generally, whatever made my child happy would made me happy.

 

Both of my sons are free to identify with whichever character they find most relatable. Why restrict them? Those restrictions for fear of repercussions is exactly why there are restrictive environments where people feel a need to hide their true interests in the first place. And more often than not, the parents who fearfully restrict what their child can be interested in due to the perceived social norms and biases is due more to the parent's issues than any issues with other children.

My 5 year old loves Star Wars, Ninjas, trains and anything that explodes or crashes. He also loves his ponies and Frozen, dancing, and a wide variety of Studio Ghibli movies which are usually female-centric. I don't see why it should cause any issues. At least where I am located, the world isn't so repressed as to look down on that anymore, and I say we're all the better for it. The more feminine-centric properties my son associates with have given a more balanced personality with equal ability to rough house or play pretend with dolls. he has both female and male friends over for play dates. So,. I think its working out ok for him so far.

 

The world is what you make it. The social expectations have been ingrained based on gender bias. I love action movies and romances. My sons love boys and girls toys. These are your new realities. No more restrictions based on herd mentality and fear. The expectation that boys be tough and fight and need to project constant masculinity is propagated by the previous generations biases, not by any intrinsic need to act as specific way. We change that by not projecting our bias onto our children. That is how the world changes.

 

I disagree. Although male and female perspectives may bring different angles of appreciation to a similar topic. I don't think it means thy can't appreciate the same things. I'd say you are correct. Without commercials nothing would change, because parents are the main culprit. They project their social expectations on their children from birth by choosing certain toys or colors based on perceived gender roles. In earlier society where gender roles were specifically aligned to certain aspects or functions of society these things made sense, but they are outdated and mostly useless at this point and only used to perpetuate norms that make people comfortable for fear of change or differences causing them or their children to be ostracized or ridiculed.

The lack of male perspective in female centric activities and female perspective in male centric activities creates a bubble that limits exposure to other views and creates rigidity in beliefs and practices and is far more damaging that any girl wanting to be Finn or boy wanting to be Rey. On the contrary, adding that perspective and allowing our sons to be more in tune with the feminine and our daughters to be more in tune with the masculine we'd likely find it much easier to bridge gender divides that so often create conflict in both personal relationships and in communities such as this. But wholesale changes to that gender role status quo is perceived as radical by people who already have these roles ingrained in their head. The thing is, kids don't know that stuff yet unless we are teaching them.

--- Double Post Merged, Nov 19, 2015, Original Post Date: Nov 19, 2015 ---

Yes, I absolutely believe there is a biological component. But I don't think its restrictive. I just think it provides different perspectives.

My wife loves action movies too. But she helps me find a feminine perspective to appreciate them from when we discuss them. It gives me and her a greater appreciation of the same product. Just as I can provide a masculine interpretation of a romantic comedy that I appreciate that helps her see it from a new angle.

 

Well I agree with you on Commando. But that exemplifies what I'm trying to say. That is a movie made purely from a masculine perspective. A product of a time where the division of gender roles created a space for a film like that.

But then look at something like John Wick or Snowpiercer recently. These are more modernized visions of violent action movies. Both films that have been more popular with women. They have just as much action as commando, but allow for a more balanced perspective. A product of more modern culture that isn't so divided. Not saying these movies are perfectly balanced, but it is more likely for a woman to find something to appreciate in Keanu Reeve's melancholy dog loving killer, than the robotic, one note killing machine in Commando. But there is still enough masculine perspective there for men to enjoy, perhaps even more than Commando where the tone is so one sided.

Point being. I don't think boys like cars, and girls like dollies flies any more. Its reductive and I think as a society we've discovered there's more nuance to it than that. That there are aspects and perspectives that appeal to each gender, but that there doesn't need to be a divide in what appeals to men or women. A girl may be into cars, but she may have different reasons for liking them, just as a boy may play with dolls, but do it in a manner slightly differing from a girl.

Now this is not to say you can't still make a Commando today. You can make a movie that only appeals to men or women. But I think quality suffers if you do that, as a balanced perspective makes for a deeper film. Star Wars, is not one sided. It is gender neutral. Their heroes don't need to be Commando or Sex in the City. A man can have both masculine and feminine aspects and vice versa. And even if they don't, that doesn't mean that my son can't relate more to Rey's story, even if he comes from a different perspective by way of gender than her.

If my son takes to the story of a scavenger alone in the desert finding their way in the world more than a defecting storm trooper, why should gender play any role in who he chooses to relate too. In the end it is her story and personality, her character arc, that defines whether he relates to her or not. Her gender at that point is mostly meaningless unless you make it meaningful by making it taboo to relate to a female character.