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SPECULATION WWYD

Discussion in 'General Sequel Trilogy Discussion' started by C2P2, Dec 20, 2019.

  1. C2P2

    C2P2 Rebelscum

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    So now the sequel trilogy is over, and the Skywalker saga has ended, how would you have written the sequel trilogy?

    I would have loved to see them go down the Jacen, Jaina, Anakin Solo & Ben Skywalker route personally.

    Would love to hear other ideas
     
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  2. Messi

    Messi Force Attuned

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    I kind of enjoyed the Thrawn trilogy, Timothy Zhan created such good characters. But the novel sometimes feel immense and was kind of boring when I read it long time ago.
    And after that I don't remember of reading anything else with these characters created by TZ. So, to me there's no nostalgia about them.

    I am glad that Disney Lucasfilm decided to go to another way and started all over again. I loved the sequel trilogy and there's almost nothing that I would like to change. Probably a diferent ending, more creative even with the return of Palpatine.
     
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  3. Pizza Time

    Pizza Time Rebel General

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    I would have mixed up an adaption of the Thrawn Trilogy with Dark Empire, it would have been amazing on the big screen. I would change some things to make it more accessible though.
     
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  4. TheTrueStarWarsSqueal

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    1. Star Wars Force Awakens: Rey finds out who her parents are. Force Ghost Great Grandaughter of Obi-wan's master. Qui-Gon Jinn and Great Great Great-granddaughter of the Emperor. Death of Han Solo by Kylo. Explain how the Republic fell into the New Order. So how Rey train and had Leia train her since we know that Leia had some force in her. Holdo comes and joined Rey. Leia would become Qui-Gon Jinn to Rey. Holdo becomes Obi-wan.

    2. Star Wars The Last Jedi: Finn finds out who his parents were. The great-grandson of both Lando and Mace Windu. Mace Windu was Snoke. The Death of Leia. Chewie hugged, Leia. Captain Phasma was the one who kidnapped Fin to become a stormtrooper.

    3. Star Wars Rise of Skywalker: Jar Jar Blinks as the Sith Lord and reveals the first Sith Ghosts would become Force Monsters. The death of Luke Skywalker. Holdo and Poe cause it kinda remind me of Han and Leia.
    Sidenote: (I'm trying to write a fanfiction of star wars. I need some help. Please help me by PM me.)
     
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  5. TheTrueStarWarsSqueal

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    Could someone help me with the Star Wars legends? I never got into those comics of Star Wars. Could you guys help me with what happened between 6 and the 7 episodes? Please PM if you want to teach me all the legends of Star Wars.
     
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  6. SegNerd

    SegNerd Rebel General

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    I used to think that Dave Filoni and Jon Favreau were primarily kid-friendly content makers - but after seeing the first season of The Mandalorian, I wish their project had been used as the ST instead.

    I mean the TV version is actually working out pretty well anyway, but I have to say, I'm way more impressed with the Mandarlorian than the ST.
     
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  7. Use the Falchion

    Use the Falchion Force Sensitive

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    Oh no...I've been waiting for this opportunity...

    I've been reworking TLJ for a couple of years. It started out as a little exercise; a private conversation between me and Rian Johnson on what the story could and should have been, and what I could take from it to my own future writings. After TROS, it turned into a rework of the entire trilogy. It's still not complete, but I've learned some things about writing and storytelling along the way, so it's far from a waste. Anyways let's get started!


    THE FORCE AWAKENS:
    TFA is left mostly as it is (minus Finn drinking from the animal water trough. I get it, he's thirsty; but at the same time, I'm a little offended by it as a black man). I'm still working on how to rework this, as I think it's as perfect as it could have been for the franchise.

    The two differing choices I toy with are making the F.O. the now-ruling establishment of the New Republic. I always enjoyed George Lucas' themes of how empires are created in the PT. It felt almost natural for the Separtists to become the Rebellion. Here I kind of wanted to explore the opposite. The New Republic is now in a conservative phase, trying to recapture the "glory" of their empire days. First Order is a slogan of sorts, and a slang name for the government now. Leia, unable to stop it, saw the signs on the wall and bail(Organa)ed, creating the Resistance to stand up to the F.O.

    OR having an all-out battle between three forces - the New Republic, the Remnant, and the First Order. But that can also be saved for future stories too.

    The other change I'm toying with are the Knights of Ren. These guys are wasted in the movies, sadly, and aren't scary because of it. Here I'd like to see a small sub-plot with Kor Sella (the girl on Hosnian Prime when it was blown up), after failing to gather reinforcements for the New Republic, trying to save her family from the eminent destruction. The Knights of Ren are hunting her down, as they know she's close to Leia and may know the location of the Resistance base. This would play with horror tones, and end in tragedy with Kor's family being slaughtered, and Kor taken away, and her home planet of Hosnian Prime destroyed.

    The reason I toy with this is to not only instill a sense of dread and fear in the audience whenever the KoR show up, but to give viewers an emotional attachment to Hosnian Prime. We need to feel the horror the characters feel. Any audience member who's seen the ST already knows what SKB is, so give us a reason to care why it's being used.

    The rest of TFA goes as it already does. Now, onto the Big One. TLJ has the most changes. In these "revisions" I always try to keep true to the writer's intent and core. So scenes like Canto Bight are still present, but who goes is changed. RJ likes character binaries (angel and devil sort of parallels), whereas I'm a fan of reflecting different aspects of characters in multiple, other characters.

    THE LAST JEDI:
    Poe's dreadnaught battle stays the same. The Resistance escapes and the Snoke's forces follow. Snoke demeans and abuses Kylo, Kylo gets angry and goes to attack the Resistance. Here, instead of a fake-out, there actually IS another space battle.

    Poe mentions that the Resistance needs pilots; a newly awakened Finn tells Poe to prep him a ship (echoing Kylo's line minutes earlier), only for the next cut of him to be in the gunner's position - this serves as a nice throwback to his experiences with Rey and Poe. In this battle Poe FINALLY gets a chance to fight Kylo Ren; but once again is so focused on destroying the enemy in front of him that he misses Kylo's wingmen, who destroy the command center. During this battle, Finn also starts as a gunner, but his ship is hit and the pilot dies (echoing Luke in ESB). Finn takes over the pilot's position and survives the fight.
    There's a cut of Holdo listening to Finn's audio, watching ominously. Instead of retreating back to the base (like Poe will do when Finn radios him), Kylo puts a destination in his ship and leaves.
    After the battle, Holdo is left in charge of the fleet while Ackbar commands the Raddus itself. Finn meets Rose and they figure out hyperspace tracking. Poe decides it's "his responsibility" to save the fleet and goes on the mission with Rose. Finn's job is to stay aboard the Raddus and make sure everyone is able to escape when it's time. Finn has a headache, but brushes it off as his "reconditioning wearing off, I think." (Every time Finn has a headache, Rey's next scene involves a ForceTime with Kylo.) Finn also entrusts Rey's tracker to Poe - if the fleet goes down, at least Rey will be safe.
    Holdo doesn't trust Finn, despite what he has done. In her mind, she thinks the F.O. may have sacrificed SKB in order to move their plan forward; so she doesn't tell Finn - and by proxy any other spies - her plan. (Parallel this to Rey calling Kylo a monster and him accepting it with Holdo calling Finn a monster and him rejecting it).
    Canto Bight goes about the same way, but Poe doesn't realize that Rose's sister was Paige Tico. Yet. On Canto Bight, instead of running into DJ in jail, they run into another character - Zorri Bliss. Poe and Zorri get into a fight, but as Zorri sneaks out, Poe and Rose are able to convince Zorri to join their side for one mission. During the escape from Canto Bight, Poe finds out that Rose's sister was Paige, and how she died for almost nothing.

    As the Resistance ships are sacrificed, Finn thinks Holdo's actions are a decidedly a First Order tactic (bleeding Resistance resources, using that excuse to gather allies, and then attempting to wipe them all out at once*), and therefore she must be a spy. So, along with Ko Connix and Poe's other friends (maybe bring Black Squadron or Inferno Squad back for this?) they stage a coup.


    Now, let's talk about Rey. For those actually reading this (and to those people I say thank you, truly. I've been dying for a chance to share this revision) you might be wondering about the lack of Rey so far. That's because when I started this, I was only changing things I had issues with. Rey and Luke (and Kylo Ren to a degree) were all things I had ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM WITH. Therefore, I didn't want to change it. Then, The Rise of Skywalker came out, and I realized that there are some things I could - and want to - change.**

    For Rey, it's some of her scenes with Kylo. Kylo appears during Rey's lightsaber training. Kylo mentions she's good, but needs more practice, and tells her to follow his steps. We see Kylo follow an intricate routine of battle moves, and Rey following along until the two are in sync. Luke watches, but as this goes on, his face goes from curious to horror. Yet he never steps in. The kata ends, and Kylo compliments Rey's skills, Rey is surprised at herself, until she sees the background of where Kylo is. He's on a planet, and around him are corpses. Rey realizes that she that as she was in sync with Kylo she has helped massacre these people. She drops her saber and flees.
    The next scene with Kylo involves flying. Instead of Swolo Ren, Rey recognizes that they're bonded as Kylo is flying a ship. Kylo doesn't tell her where, but he lets go of the controls and tells her to use the Force to guide him. Rey is reluctant, until Kylo mentions that he trusts her. As they fly, Kylo mentions that Han taught him how to fly. It's one of the things they enjoyed together, and one of the things he still enjoys. It reminds him of a time before his sister went missing. Rey mentions that she dreamt of flying away while on Jakku. Kylo asks if she still does; Rey doesn't respond. Kylo says "Let's fly home, Rey." The connection abruptly cuts, and Rey shouts "no!"


    The scene switches to Kylo. He lands his ship on the ground of a stormy planet. He approaches a monolith. An elevator descends as storms dance in the sky. The erratic lighting illuminates monuments to Sith past. As Kylo walks towards a certain point, we hear "At last, my boy." Kylo ignites his lightsaber, and the scene ends.

    The Rise of Skywalker is almost too much movie in one. As such, I thought it'd be nice to space things out and add in the first scenes of the movie here. I also wanted to add towards the horror and allure of Rey to Kylo. Kylo helps her, then hurts her, then offers her something she still wants. It's a terrible, terrible cycle but one that deepens their connection. This will end terribly, of course, but hey, attachment!

    During Rey's last ForceTime with Kylo, Kylo would mention how he used to have a sister. But his mother saw something when she was born and abandoned her. *** Kylo was afraid that if his parents could do that to her, they could do it to him, and they did. They left him with Luke, like they left her with Luke. But she's not alone. They hand-touch, and Luke interrupts.
    Luke and Rey shortly spar. It's a draw, and Luke exiles her off the island. Rey asks about him betraying Kylo, and Luke truthfully answers - it was a moment of reflex. He had fought evil for so long, in himself, in his father, in the galaxy, that on reflex he ignited his blade against his nephew. It was a moment of reflex, and after he was left with shame and consequences.
    Rey says she's going to join her brother. Luke scoffs at this, saying that family doesn't determine her role in the galaxy, and it's not on this island. So leave. And Rey does.

    As you can see, I've changed the nature of Rey and Ben's relationship a bit. No longer is it romantic, but slightly familial. I believe this allows for a more genuine intimacy and is more in line with what each of them want. Five scenes (Rey shoots Kylo, Kylo tells Rey about Luke, Kylo and Rey train, Ben and Rey fly, Ben and Rey hand-touch) should be just about enough.

    Back to the boys - Leia wakes up and ends the coup, and everybody on the Raddus ships out. Finn didn't know about Crait because the First Order didn't know. Leia subtly chastises Holdo for not trusting a hero of the Resistance.
    Rey goes off to meet Ben, who has since returned from his mysterious journey, his training seemingly complete. Ben betrays Rey. On the elevator, Rey tells Ben that she knows who he is, and that they will betray his master and he will redeem himself for his family. Ben tells her he now knows why she was abandoned. They go to Snoke's throne room, and Snoke reveals that Rey is a Dyad, two force beings connected as one, and is as powerful as the Chosen One without the restrictions of prophecy. Snoke gloats about how he stole the fledgling bond from Rey's original pair to bridge the gap to Kylo, effectively tying the Dyad to his own will and command.**** Ben betrays Snoke, and the two fight the guards.
    Poe and Rose are betrayed by Zorri - she wanted a clean slate from Poe's actions as a spice-runner, and is given a captain's signal. Zorri mournfully tells Poe that he shouldn't have joined. The ships start to get shot down.
    As Ben and Rey's fight ends, Ben states that he needs to tear the system down, to let the past die. Rey asks if her brother could really do that. Ben then says that Rey isn't his sister. Ben knows EXACTLY where his blood sister is; he's known ever since becoming Kylo Ren. Ben asks if Rey knows why she was abandoned. Rey quietly asks Ben not to do it. Ben states that it's because she's a Palpatine. Her parents tried to be warlords after the Empire fell, and were killed by the New Republic. That Rey was abandoned simply because some soldier didn't want to kill a child. Rey starts to cry. Ben says that evil is in her blood, as it is in his. But they can start a new regime together, on her homeworld of Exogul. Just them. Ben extends his hand, and says "Let's fly home, Rey."

    Rey, ever the hero, goes for the Skywalker Saber instead.

    Ackbar performs the Holdo Move (Hux calling the Raddus turning around a trap), earning a Glorious Death. Poe and Rose take down Phasma and escape.
    Crait battle happens as is, but this time Poe goes for the sacrifice play. He claims that he's making up for his failures from earlier, and that if he can take down the cannon, then Paige's sacrifice would be worth it. Rose stops him, and does her "we win by saving what we love," and kisses Poe.

    Poe and Rose getting together clears my shipper heart for FinnRey. But it's also built off of the idea that Rose is conflicted about her relationship. What is it like to fall in love with the man who is more or less the reason your sister died? How do you reconcile that? This action gives them the chance to explore that theme in TROS.


    Luke arrives, and as he says goodbye to Leia, he mentions to Finn that he left something for him, when the time is right. Poe FINALLY learns his lesson when Luke goes out to fight, and the Resistance retreats.
    Rey searches for the Resistance, but can't reach them directly, as her scanners are picking up too much interference from the salt foxes. She turns off her scanner and uses the Force. She connects with Finn, and they meet. As they hug, Luke smiles and disappears. The movie ends with everyone on the Falcon, and Leia saying they have everything they need.

    *A subtle shoutout to Vader and Starkiller's plan in Force Unleashed. And Thrawn used it in Rebels, so he wouldn't even be wrong.
    **Obviously these changes aren't limited to Rey's story. See Zorri's inclusion earlier than TROS for that.
    ***These are KYLO'S OWN FEELINGS. This isn't entirely wrong, but also not the whole story.
    ****I felt this would be more in line with everything about the Dark Side and how users work. The Dark Side is quicker, more seductive, and offers you something you think you need. But it also can't build, construct, or create. Not truly. So Snoke stealing something to make it his own works in my mind.


    I'll work on TROS's revision tomorrow; I have something else planned to finish today.


    EXTRAS:
    @TheTrueStarWarsSqueal Welcome to the Cantina. There's a LOT that happened between ROTJ and what would count as Episode 7 in the comics. And the story goes far beyond just that. There are generations of Skywalkers and Solos after Luke, Han, and Leia pass. It's crazy.
     
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  8. Messi

    Messi Force Attuned

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    This is a joke, right?
     
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  9. TheTrueStarWarsSqueal

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    Thanks

    Why not? Demons were only Sith Lords Ghost? Since Rian Johnson can take everything that shouldn't be in the Star Wars movies and easer everything good about Star Wars from PT and the OT. I think it'll be okay for me to do also.

    MOD EDIT
     
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  10. Use the Falchion

    Use the Falchion Force Sensitive

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    Edit to TFA revision: Maybe replace Maz Kanata (I love her character, but she really doesn't do much) with Qi'ra. There really isn't a reason behind this, but I like the idea that this wise, compassionate elderly lady used to work for one of the most violent and feared criminal organizations in the galaxy. Maybe Maz is still around, but lets Qi'ra run the shop, and we only see Maz when the lightsaber calls to Rey. Just spitballing ideas.

    EDIT: Also, TROS's "revisions" are taking longer than expected...mostly due to me being pretty lazy about it. But I think I figured out the main changes! I think...
     
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  11. TheTrueStarWarsSqueal

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    Here are my intros of Star Wars Squeals:

    A long time ago in a galaxy far,

    far away....



    STAR

    WARS



    Episode VII



    THE FALL OF REPUBLIC



    The Debt collectors captured Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon as theirs. They took it as Han Solo's debt is paid. They dumped him off the closest planet. When the Millennium Falcon came outdated for travel. They dumped it on Jakku.



    Mara Jade the wife of Luke Skywalker. A Hooded figure killed her in front of Ben Solo. The Hooded Figure destroyed Luke's Family expect for the Solos family.



    After Luke failed to save his nephew from the Darkside. He went to an island to think and get away from the force.

    After there are no more Jedi Knights or Jedi Masters due to Luke refusing to create a new Jedi. The Republic fell into the New Order.
    ___________________________________________________________
    A long time ago in a galaxy far,

    far away....



    STAR

    WARS



    Episode VIII



    THE FORCE REAWAKENS



    Captain Phasma took a young boy to become a normal stormtrooper from the age of 6. The boy is now known as FN-2187.



    Until his conscience took over him and he went AWOL. He's the first Stormtrooper that went rogue on the Sith. Snoke could sense the small force in him but he knows the rule of two in the Sith.



    Snoke with the power of the Knights of Ren killed all the rest of the new Jedi order similar to the order 66. The only Jedi left was Luke Skywalker.



    Now it's a race to find Luke Skywalker. Princess Leia becomes General Leia after she starts the Resistance against the New Order. She helps Holdo in her force abilities.
    ___________________________________________________________
    A long time ago in a galaxy far,

    far away....



    STAR

    WARS



    Episode IX



    THE LAST JEDI



    The deaths of Han Solo and Leia. Rey found out she's Force Ghost Great Grandaughter of Obi-wan's master, Qui-Gon Jinn and Great Great Great-granddaughter of the Emperor.



    Kylo Ren is the son of Han Solo and Princess Leia. Finn is the great-grandson of both Lando and Mace Windu. Mace Windu was Snoke.



    Now the true battles begin to cause the Hooded figure who been manipulated all of the events from the first Death Star to the Star Killer.



    The fate of the Universe weights in this battle. Will the Resistance come out on top? Even with the Force Ghost helping them?





     
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  12. Use the Falchion

    Use the Falchion Force Sensitive

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    Does this happen in the movie or before the movies?

    Do we need to explain who Mara Jade is for the audience. Who is the Hooded Figure? Why leave the Solo family alive?

    What drove his nephew to the Dark Side?

    This directly contradicts what you say below. But more importantly, why did Luke refuse to teach new Jedi? Why did he oppose Yoda's last request?

    Aren't the Sith supposed to be destroyed after ROTJ? What about the prophecy of the Chosen One? If there aren't any Sith, Snoke can train FN-2187 at his own leisure.

    You're...gonna have to explain this one to me. How do Leia's Force abilities help Holdo?

    Please explain THAT family tree to me! I like the idea of Rey being a Kenobi or a Jinn, or even the Palpatine she is. But I need a family tree!

    ...so Finn is related to the other two most prominent black people...and Lando's not THAT old! And why would Mace Windu have children?!

    That's totally fine.

    Who is the Hooded Figure, and why are we only finding out about this at the end?* What's the threat?

    @TheTrueStarWarsSqueal you seem to have some pretty interesting ideas, especially in combining the Legends stuff with the new Canon stuff. But I guess my question is mostly why are you making these specific decisions? What do they mean to you? What do they mean to the plot? What do they mean to the characters? What do they mean to the audience? What arcs do these characters go on?

    I ask these questions as hopefully constructive criticism. Feel free to throw the same back at me. We might not get to the same page, but iron sharpens iron!


    *Hypocritical of me, I know. But I have a way to work in Palpatine's attempt to come back in TLJ's revision.
     
  13. Clankershot

    Clankershot Rebel Trooper

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    I'd have let Luke stay alive as Grandmaster longer for sure. And made the resistance a bit more stable for the long run.
     
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  14. TheTrueStarWarsSqueal

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    1. It happens before the movie.



    2. At the end of Episode VII. We see Luke with Mara Jade. Have Luke train Leia in the force.



    3. The same way Jar Jar influence Padme in Episode 2.



    4. Luke didn’t want another 66 to happen too soon.



    5. There is always be a Prophecy. One is done and others come. When do the bad guys keep the laws?



    6. Leia teaching Holdo how to use force.



    7. Qui-Gon Jinn never truly follow the Jedi’s way. Similar way Anakin did after him.



    8. Mace Windu is similar to Qui-Gon Jinn but a little more strong in the Sith ways.



    9. Mace Windu was in there before the Attack of the Clones. Lando is probably around the same age as Han Solo at least. So yeah he’s old in the sequels least in my version.



    10. Thanks. I'm glad you like that Mace Windu is Snoke.



    11. To get people coming back to the movie. It’s Jar Jar Blinks.



    Note:



    The reason I made those specific decisions cause I thought the most common sense in my view.



    What do they mean to me? It’s just for fun.



    What do they mean in the Plot? Transforming into a new era of a Gray Jedis only.



    What do they mean to the characters? Passing the torch to the next generation.



    What do they mean to the audience? Simple it’s more Star Wars story onward.



    What arcs they do characters go on? Finn and Rey found out about their family history and they have to get back what they had lost. For the older characters to finish the life cycle.
     
  15. Pizza Time

    Pizza Time Rebel General

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    After rethinking it, I just wouldn't make the sequels. I would probably continue my story in novels or comics, the movies just ended fine with 6.
     
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  16. cawatrooper

    cawatrooper Jedi General

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    I like the idea of the old trio handing off the torch to new players, but...

    Well, seems unlikely these new actors are gonna continue with Star Wars (at least, not any time soon), they were underutilized, and the films themselves don't leave a ton of room open for multimedia material to expand on them in the era. So, while a good idea, they were honestly kind of wasted.

    So, much as I hate to say it (seriously,I would've strongly disagreed with this idea a few months ago), but these films probably could've focused a little bit more on the original actors- Hamill, Fischer, Ford, BDW, Lawson, etc.

    I'd have still liked to see new characters, but maybe they should've been ancillary to Luke and the gang.

    As far as story goes, I think the idea of a new Empire where one time heroes were unable to prevent the rise again of that which they once had victory over is kind of a fascinating one (and pretty prescient in today's world, too). But it all just seemed to lack context or weight- I think seeing the First Order become a threat through Leia or Luke's eyes could've helped with that. Like, I understand what's going on politically in the GFFA during this time, but I have a hard time believing that when my parents watch the film they get much more out of it than "the Empire is back again". And maybe that's all an audience needs, but... do you ever get a feeling watching a movie that you're having to try just a little too hard to justify the gaps in information? Not necessarily gaps in logic, but that you're simply having to fill in stuff with your mind that the filmmaker left out (though probably shouldn't have). It's so strange, because it makes for a coherent story, but one that feels tiring (and not in a good, challenging way).

    I don't hate the general structure of the sequel trilogy, but the movies often just felt like they had good ideas that were poorly shown on screen (which is bonkers for a film with Star Wars' budget). An easy and common example lately is the space battle on Exegol. Why was so little of it shown? Like, it was simply not a fun thing to watch, and that's really saying something for a gigantic space battle on a Sith planet that starts by the "people" (a great line, by the way) of the galaxy finally rising up to fight their oppressors. Would've been real neat to actually see that battle on screen for some period of time.

    So, I dunno- I probably wouldn't have changed much about this trilogy in the grand scheme of things, other than Point of View, context, and focus.
     
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  17. Use the Falchion

    Use the Falchion Force Sensitive

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    TROS "REVISION" UPDATE 2 - All of the work I had done on it so far was deleted (shame on me for not saving), so it's going to take even longer now as I have to remember what I did and redo it up to that point. That's not terrible, but it was relatively long and detailed, so it's going to be a pain. Maybe by next Wednesday if I'm lucky?
     
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  18. TheTrueStarWarsSqueal

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    What do you guys think of this idea?

    Leia was Obi Wan's daughter with Padme.
    Luke was Anakin's son with Padme.

    I dare someone to come up with fanfiction with this idea.
     
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  19. Use the Falchion

    Use the Falchion Force Sensitive

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    I'm pretty sure I've action seen that before, but the reverse (where Luke was Obi-Wan's son and Leia was Anakin's daughter). It's happened in real life before, so it's NOT out of the realm of possibility, but I don't like the idea of Padme cheating on Anakin with Obi-Wan, so I'll pass...



    Overdue, but not forgotten, here is the draft of my The Rise of Skywalker “Revision.” Again, these revisions are simply for changing aspects of the story we were told into something I personally prefer. With one to two major exceptions (Reylo and another Solo child), I’m trying to keep as many of the same plot points from the story we were actually told in. This is also getting a little too long for one post, so I think I’ll split it up over two days. The stopping point here is roughly the halfway point for the movie. I’d say it’s about halfway to 3/5 of the way through Act 2. Some things are missing, such as most of the Resistance scenes. I might add these later. If not, just place them where they were in the movie.

    My “author’s notes” are in italics, and they cover my thought process for some of the decisions. Please feel free to ask me about any other ones!



    The movie starts with Kylo flying through an asteroid field. He soon reaches his destination – a barren planet, accompanied only by lighting in the sky. Kylo marches towards a monolith, lightsaber on. He steps on a platform, lowering himself down into the ground below. Lightning flashes, illuminating statues of Sith long gone. Kylo reaches the bottom. He hears a creak and turns, lightsaber ready to attack. The perpetrator seems to be an old, red, Imperial Messenger Droid (the same type used in Operation Cinder). Kylo turns to ignore the droid, but then it starts to speak. “At last, my boy, you have come.” Palpatine’s face flickers to life on the droid.

    Kylo comments that Palpatine is dead. The droid acknowledges this, but the droid states there’s a way to reverse this. To bring Palpatine…to come back to life fully…Palpatine needs the power of a Dyad, two beings connected so much by the Force that they can truly be called one – two beings with the power of the Chosen One but with no prophetic limitations. Two beings like Kylo Ren, heir to darkness and light…and his other. The girl. The heir to the Empire. His granddaughter. Together they can open a door between time and space to bring Palpatine back. A World Between Worlds, if you will. Kylo states that he’ll kill the Emperor, just like he will Snoke. Palpatine states that he made Snoke, and has many more in waiting, so feel free to do so. Palpatine then promises Kylo not only the power of the Galactic Empire to go along with the First Order, but a new, secret army he has spent the past 30 years working on as well.

    We see star destroyers rise from the ground.

    Palpatine promises all of this and more will be at Kylo’s disposal, so long as he brings the heir to the Empire home. And as a parting gift, he gives Kylo command of one of the star destroyers.

    I’m still not happy with this exchange, but it’s the best I can do at the moment. Will WBW Palps know what Robot Palps does? Not really, but it was also part of a backup plan, if the unthinkable happens. He’d wait for a Dyad to form and then use them to bring himself back from the dead – or more accurately, he’d bring back a Palpatine that was ABOUT to die into the future. Snoke’s purpose was to be a puppet ruler and a battery until this happened.


    We cut to a ship blaring klaxons, and Kor Sella, dressed in prisoner’s whites, running through a hallway. Soldiers in all directions scramble looking for her. An officer grumbles about setting the weapons to stun, but orders his troops to do so anyways. The Knights of Ren appear, and split up to look for Kor. Kor manages to sneak up on a stormtrooper and take his gun. She sneaks around to the escape pods, and goes towards one, but before she does, she sees something off screen. The next scene is her kneeling down outside of an escape pod, reassuring whatever is in it that, in doing her job, it will have saved the galaxy. It’s the final hope. She then closes the doors and ejects the pod. Kor Sella then walks to the next pod and ejects it. She speeds up with each pod; as she’s turning a corner she sees a Knight of Ren at the end of the hall. Kor Sella, shaking, kneels down with her hands up, in surrender. She is caught again.

    We cut to gunners on the star destroyer. They see the escape pods, but are ordered not to waste ammo firing on them. There are no lifeforms after all.

    I needed to do something with Kor Sella, as I almost forgot about her, and I think this is a better role for the “spy” than Hux. He has another slightly more ironic role. This also serves as a nice callback to the beginning of ANH, but with a different twist.

    Next we see our Finn and Poe playing the holochess game with Chewie. The joke about how long it’s taking for Chewie to move; Finn makes a comment about it’s taking so long he’ll have time to read the Jedi texts again. Poe accuses Chewie of cheating. Chewie gets mad, they calm him, and then they arrive.

    I needed more foreshadowing in the movie, and so here it is for Finn.

    The group goes to pick up the information, and barely escapes the F.O. just like the movie.

    We cut to Rey training in the forest. This plays out mostly the same, with a small change about how Rey wonders if the Jedi aren’t with her because of her family. The scene with Kylo going to Vader’s mask is also cut. Rey returns from her training, aggravated, and hands Leia the Skywalker Lightsaber, saying she’s probably just tired.

    Rey’s worry about her heritage comes back in this a bit. We need her to be concerned about it, so that her climactic moment (with changed dialogue!) with Palpatine will be a little more impactful for her.

    The boys get back from their mission, just like the movie, and report that they have information. The information apparently came from a droid that escaped the F.O. and was holding information. Just enough was broadcast and recorded before the broadcast was cut. Kor Sella’s hologram shows up, miniaturized, stating that Sith loyalists have found a way to bring Palpatine back from the dead, and are teaming up with the First Order to do so. They apparently are meeting on a planet called Exogul, but need something that she couldn’t find out. She asks Leia to do whatever she can to stop them. “Please General Organa, you’re our last hope.”

    And there’s the second part of the ANH callback. We’re going through a tour-de-force with throwbacks that hopefully mean something to both the audience and the characters in it. I LOVE when things come full circle, but they have to make sense for the story. This one – where Leia goes from the one in need of a general to the general in need – felt so natural. There will be more before the story is over, but those don’t happen until the end.

    The name Exogul sparks something in Rey. She rushes off to find her bags, with Finn, Rose, and Poe following her. Rey mentions that Luke talked about Exogul. She states he named it a hidden world of the Sith, accessible to only a few. Finn chimes in that Luke also mentioned a map to get there, a Royal Wayfinder. Rey counters with the fact that Luke also mentioned that the Jedi destroyed any Wayfinder they seized in order to quarantine the planet. Poe chimes in saying that apparently it’s not the case, because if Kor Sella knows about it – Rose interrupts stating that “the First Order must have one.” And she notes that the person most likely to have one – Rey finishes that sentence “is Kylo Ren.”

    Rey quietly says that she might be able to convince him to give it up, but it would be dangerous. Everyone assures Rey they can find another way, but Rey decides this is the best and most timely way to go about things.

    I felt like it would be more empowering for Rey have more control over her relationship with Kylo than previously demonstrated. Hopefully it’s empowering anyways.

    Rey packs up the Falcon for her journey, and is surprised to find that Chewie, Finn, Poe, Rose, and the droids are all coming along with her. She protests, but they say they’re going together until the end. Rey smiles at this.

    Another big change is Rose joining the crew. This is mostly because she was sidelined so much in the actual TROS – well-intentioned or not – and because REY HAS NO FEMALE FRIENDS. I wanted to give her at least one before all was said and done. Ko Connix will replace Rose as the commander at the base.

    The first stop is to find where the droid was sent, and the information they have shows it as Tatooine, so the crew settles in.

    Pasaana felt so superfluous to me. So I changed it. One thing I really liked about TPM is seeing different sides of planets. Seeing Naboo from the underwater world as well as the human side is fascinating. Seeing that Tatooine had cities was so weird and cool. So I thought I’d bring some of that back. We also usually see Tatooine twice during the trilogies. So we'll see it twice here.

    During the flight, Rey asks Rose if she could have a hand fixing the Falcon. Rose agrees. They work in moderate silence until Rose brings up that it’s easier to work with mechanics than people sometimes. That despite their complexity, they’re so much easier than emotions, feelings, and other stuff. Rey agrees, stating that even in the Resistance she feels like an outsider. They work in silence for a moment more before Rey asks if Rose has told Poe yet. Rose stops working for a moment, and then states that she’s been waiting for a good moment, but in war there aren’t any. But she also knows if Poe finds out, Rose will be sidelined, and she CANNOT let that happen. Too many people are counting on her. Too many friends – Finn, Chewie, Connix, and Rey. Rey smiles at this.

    Yes, Rose is pregnant. Cue death flags for Poe.

    The next scene is Kylo talking to his generals. The mentions that the new star destroyer will be his new capital ship; he will leave his former ship to the command of Hux. Hux is puffed up at this. Kylo then mentions that he will mix the new crew with the old, sending half of his new ship’s soldiers – under the command of General Pryde – to his old ship. Hux is aggravated, but tries to hide it.

    In another part of the ship, Finn flips through the Jedi texts. Poe comes in and, seeing Finn, stops his question for a moment. Poe then asks Finn why he keeps looking through the those dusty old things. Finn puts the text down and admits that, at times, he can feel something in him, but he’s not sure what. So he thinks that if he studies the Jedi texts, he can make sense of it. Poe needles him, asking if that’s his only reason. Finn slowly admits that he also reads them for Rey. She’s the only Jedi around, but if Finn at least tries to learn about the Jedi, then maybe she won’t feel so alone in the world. Finn then asks what Poe’s going to do after the war. Poe comments that he sees himself following Leia wherever she goes. Working for her has been the best decision Poe’s ever made, so it can’t be wrong to keep going. Poe asks Finn if he’d follow too, after the war. But the question is never answered, as they arrive on Tatooine.

    Oh, so many death flags. And more shipping between Rey and Finn! I will say that I probably won’t make it explicit with a kiss or anything like that. I’m not nearly skilled enough at romance to justify putting more than one pre-established couple in the movies. But there will be hand-holding and stuff like that towards the end. My goal is to make it obvious they like each other, but right now isn’t the time I guess?

    The crew exits the ship. Poe tells everyone to be prepared for heavy occupation of Mos Espa. But as they walk up the crew finds a celebration instead of occupation. C-3P0 then comments that he forgot to mention that this is a festival that happens every 42 years. And so to the festival they go.

    Rey is stopped by a little slave girl who gives her a necklace, asking if she’s a princess. Rey is flattered, but says no. The slave asks what Rey’s name is. Rey states that it’s simply Rey. No last name, no title. The girl stares, but is suddenly called back to work or risk being beaten or killed.

    I originally had “angel” but I changed it to princess because that felt…I don’t know…like a thing? I can change it back if it annoys too many people. There IS a reason for the question. We will see this girl at the end of the movie.

    Rey is saddened by this; and uses those feelings and the connection to Tatooine to connect to Kylo. Kylo, neither shocked nor expectant, turns around. Rey asks how Palpatine plans on coming back. Kylo notices the sand in her hair and asks if she’s back on Jakku. Rey tells him that she’s asking the questions, and her question is “how is Palpatine coming back to life.” Kylo states that once he to bring Rey to Exogul, they work together they bring Palpatine back. Or that’s what Palpatine wants. Rey states that she needs the Wayfinder, so she can end the fight herself. Kylo says that he’ll give it to her once she’s joined him. Rey declares that she’d rather die than join the Dark Side. Kylo steps forward, declares “that is also an option,” and rips off her necklace.

    This will require a revision to my TLJ “revision.” I plan on changing it that at the end, Kylo will tell Rey about Palpatine coming back, and that Kylo will plan on stopping him. He’ll want Rey’s help, and that after he ends the current conflict, they can go put an end to everything on her home planet. Or something along those lines.

    Rey snaps out of the ForceSkype and runs to warn her friends. Stormtroopers identify that the planet is Tatooine to Kylo, and he sends the Knights of Ren and an extra battalion to the planet.

    Our heroes are identified by troopers, but are assisted by one Lando Calrissian. Lando mentions that he was able to save the droid that had the message before the F.O. found it. The droid, D-0, is noticeably shy around humans now. Lando entrusts the droid and the fate of the galaxy to the new heroes. He’s prepared speed barges not too far away from here, and they’re programmed with coordinates to an escape ship. Lando says he can’t assist Leia much these days, but to “send her my love.” Poe tells him to do that himself. Rey mentions that she once was attached to afraid because of a loss in the past, but someone wise told her that the treasure she sought was not behind, but ahead. Lando is subdued for a moment before he asks if she ever found her treasure. Rey says that she did, and that maybe Lando can too.

    I gave Rey’s line to Poe for a reason, but I gave her a longer dialogue with Lando to make up for that.

    The escape on the barge happens pretty much as in the movie, but now there are three groups: Rey, Finn, and BB-8; Chewie, and Poe; and Rose, C-3P0, and D-0. At the end of the chase, Chewie and Poe’s barge shot down, and the two are surrounded by KoR and stormtroopers. Rey and Rose leaves their barge and tries to fight through, but more troopers than they can handle at the moment appear. Finn tries to coax the girls away; Rey, in a fit of rage, blasts the troopers with lightning. But it’s too late, the Knights of Ren protect themselves and their prisoners from the attack, and are able to escape. Rey is frozen in shock at her own power and the death it caused.

    I don’t like the death fake out. It’s cheap, so in this case I wanted the audience to know from the get-go that our heroes are alive. In turn, this scene can turn into a powerful scene to show Rey’s full power, and how the Knights of Ren can be threats. Sort of.

    Abord Kylo’s starship, we see Chewie and Poe as prisoners. Kylo marks how familiar this is, having Poe as a prisoner. Poe notes that he escaped last time, he will this time too. Chewie growls in agreement. Kylo asks how Chewie can side with Rey – a stranger to the family – and Poe, the replacement son, than himself. Chewie roars something that shocks Kylo. And Kylo admits that he’s not. Poe then chimes in saying that even if he is a replacement son to Leia, at least he’s the son Leia can be proud of. Kylo walks out.

    Again, a similar situation, but now with more information, things can progress slightly differently. I always wanted a scene where Poe and Kylo talk about their respective relationships to Leia. This was the closest I’ll ever get.

    In the escape ship Lando provided, the our heroes don’t know what to do. They sit around in silence for a moment. As Finn tries to comfort Rose, she runs off to a room and closes the door. Finn sighs, and asks Rey if she has any ideas.

    Rey, still stunned by her own power, quietly admits that she has dreams, sometimes, of a dark throne room. That she sees a dark figure sitting on it, and that everyone kneels towards that figure. Finn steps closer to Rey and asks if the figure is Kylo. Rey states that it’s herself. Finn asserts that he knows Rey, and that can never be her destiny. Rey says that everyone says they know her, but she's afraid no one does. Not really.

    Rey is later seen fixing D-0, who calls her nice. Rey thanks the droid, and asks what his name is. He says D-0. She then asks if he could figure out what to do next. D-0 states to go home. Rey mentions she’s not sure where home is for her. She asks if that’s what D-0 wants to do. He stutters no, but mentions that’s where the other ship is going. Rey freezes, and asks how he knows that. D-0 states he saw the other ship, at his home. They are “going home,” to him.

    Yeah, D-0 is a bit of a plot point in this case, but hopefully his ideas of what home is and his relationship with Rey will provide some sort of characterization for him. Besides, what’s better, a cute droid that doesn’t do much, or a cute droid that works as a plot point?

    Rey runs out to Finn and tells him that D-0 knows where they are going. They ask D-0 to plug in where the other ship is, and they find out it’s headed to Kamino. The crew settles in, and they head to lightspeed.
     
  20. Use the Falchion

    Use the Falchion Force Sensitive

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    Alright! Let’s do this! Part 2 to the TROS “revision” begins! Sitting on Part 2 actually helped a few amount of things click into place for me, so I’m happy for the split. The first major thing is a retcon from Part 1 (which I’ll go back and change after adding this). Instead of the Resistance base being on an unknown forest planet, I’ve decided to change it to the ruins of the second Death Star. So the sweeping plains carry decoy ships, with the real supply of ships hidden within the wreckage itself, making it very troublesome to breach by land. The DS2 wreckage also allows for Rey to use her scavenger heritage offscreen to help the Resistance cannibalize the base for more parts.*

    On a more symbolic note, this fits into the theme of legacy being what you make it. The DS2 was supposed to be a weapon of uncalculatable destruction. A weapon of supreme dominance. And now the victors are using it as a hideout (there’s a little extra irony in there with the winners of the war now need to hide in the ashes of their victory). Something harmful to the galaxy turned into something helpful. There’s also the added irony of it being the “inheritance” of Rey, as well as the granddaughter of the ultimate Sith, using the remains of his ultimate weapon, to train in the ways of his ultimate enemy.

    And then there’s Leia. The irony here is bittersweet – this was the same that her father redeemed himself and died. Here she too will pass, redeeming her son and dying. There’s another, minor role for her to play, but we’ll get there down below.

    So yeah, I’m really happy with this change; it also allows us to erase an extra planet as well.

    The second major change is one a friend pointed out to me last night. We were talking about Star Wars and superheroes and the superbowl, and she pointed out that Star Wars played into a stereotype by casting the only Latinx character as a drug smuggler. It had never even occurred to me that it would be offensive in any way, because I had never talked to someone about that perspective. It’s a stereotype – one seen as harmless and accidental by most, but one nonetheless. So instead of making Poe the drug runner, I’m going to switch it to ROSE.

    YES. I AM GIVING ROSE THE BACKSTORY POE HAD. RELATIONSHIP TO ZORRI AND ALL. I’m not sure it’ll fix anything but it allows me to keep in one of my favorite scenes, hopefully get rid of a stereotype, and add some complexity to Rose within the main story. I’ll most likely go back and edit my TLJ “revision” to reflect this.



    But enough about that, back to the story!





    The crew arrives at Kamino and sees that the planet is locked down under two Imperial Star Destroyers, one of familiar design, one no one recognizes. Rose points out that it must be of Sith design.

    They are able to stealthily land on a lower city platform, and must sneak their way around. Rose questions how they’re going to find out which ship they need, let alone sneak aboard it. Before anyone can answer, a gun is placed to the back of Rose’s head, and a familiar voice speaks.

    “I should have known you’d find me.”

    Zorri Blis has reentered the scene.

    Rose is shocked that Zorri is even here, and asks what’s going on. Zorri states that she’s the one in charge. Rey asks if Zorri can help them. Zorri replies that she can help them to their death, and primes herself and her allies to attack. Rey is faster, and disarms Zorri before the older woman can get off an attack. Rey helps Zorri to her feet, and Zorri reluctantly agrees to help the heroes. Finn asks how Zorri and Rose know each other, and Zorri said that they were smuggling partners before Paige and Rose joined the resistance. Finn and Rey are both amused at this fact. Rose then mentions that Zorri had payment and the captain’s chip from the F.O. so why is she on a backway city in Kamino? Zorri mutters that the First Order shut down most of her contacts, and no one wants to do business with a traitor associated with them. So she was left to hide out here. Rose asks if she still has the captain’s chip, and Zorri says yes. Finn mentions that she can help them get onto one of the capital ships to rescue their friends and find something really important. Zorri states that she’ll help, but she needs to find out what her remaining allies will do, and if she can get them to escape too. It will take a few hours, but the crew needs to be vigilante against F.O. raids. Finn mentions that if Zorri can lead them to their old hideout, he’ll take first watch.

    A transition later we see Finn exiting a building, going towards the streets. Here he sneaks around, checking the parameter and watching the F.O. abduct citizens. In on scenario, he see’s a First Order stormtrooper paired up with his superior officer and told to fire on a civilian family. The trooper is hesitating, giving reasons not to fire. The officer doesn’t care and tells the trooper that either he will fire or the family will die and he will afterwards for disobeying a direct order. The trooper can’t do it. Finn pulls out his weapon, the officer pulls out his blaster and points it at the family, but the trooper is faster and points it at the officer. Finn fires fastest. The officer goes down without getting a shot off. The trooper is stunned. Finn comes out of his hiding spot and calms everyone down. He asks the trooper his designation, and proceeds to give the trooper a name – mirroring what Poe did for him. He tells the trooper to help this family gather as many civilians as possible, and to leave this sector.

    The trooper leaves, and voice asks Finn why he did that. Finn turns to see a young black woman with a blaster, accompanied by other youths. Finn states that it felt like the right thing to do. That someone helped him like that once. The girl says to follow him.

    JANNAH ENTERS THE SCENE! I really liked the idea that Finn calms down a situation by humanizing everyone. Like Finn, all the trooper – all most troopers here – need is a good push in the right direction.

    Back at the hideout, Rose and Zorri have taken a break from their meeting. Rose asks about Finn, and Rey says that she can still sense him, and he’s not in danger, so he’s fine. She trusts him. Rose mentions teases that they must be close for her to know that. Rey is flustered, but hides it well. Then something hits Rey…a feeling of sorts, something she hasn’t felt since... Rey mentions that she’ll take the next shift and walks out of the hideout.

    Back to Finn, his mysterious enemy introduces herself as Jannah, leader of the Rebellion on Kamino. She states that she was a stormtrooper, Finn mentions that he was one as well. Her officers told her to fire on civilians, but she simply couldn’t. Finn mentions that it was a feeling, an instinct; something beyond themselves. Something right. Jannah wholeheartedly agrees. Finn mentions that he needs Jannah’s help to get aboard a ship, but he doesn’t know which one. Jannah states that it’s probably the larger, second one. She laments that she can’t help him. She knows something is going on with the second ship, as she has a bad feeling about this – this being what is happening on this city and on this planet. Finn forms an idea. If the two of them can entice enough stormtroopers to rebel, then maybe they can gain enough support to capture the smaller destroyer. The rebellion can also be used to evacuate civilians and a smaller crew can sneak aboard the larger destroyer. Jannah thinks the plan is risky, but it’s the best shot they’ll ever have. Finn says that he needs her to come with him to tell his friends.

    Again, switching Kijimi to Kamino and switching the Resistance base to DS2 wreckage meant I had to do something new with Jannah. So planted her here and gave her a more proactive role. No longer is she helping the crew because “this is what the plot demands.” It’s now because she saw a stranger do a good thing – a thing resonant to her (and she soon learns him too), so she takes a chance. One that pays off for everyone.

    Back at the hideout, Finn nearly runs into Rose, who mentions that the meeting’s been done for almost an hour, and that she was worried about Finn and Rey. Before Finn can ask, Rose mentions she doesn’t know where Rey is. Finn takes a deep breath and states that Rey’s following her own path, and that they’ll meet her when she’s ready. Rose asks how he knows. Finn says because he trusts her, and he trusts in the Force. Rose is about to mention how she’s not sure how that’s how the Force works, but cuts herself off to say that the Zorri's crew won’t help, but Zorri will. But they also need a distraction. She asks who Jannah is, and Jannah replies “the distraction.” A beat passes, and then Rose asks if that’s her name.

    The next scene is Rey walking down an alleyway. She seems to always move away from the stormtroopers, until she reaches a building. The door automatically unlocks, and Rey walks it. Inside, a Kaminoan waits for Rey. They welcome her as the envoy to the Sith promised. Rey is visibly confused, but lies and says she is anyways. They ask for her name, and she says Rey, daughter of Emperor Palpatine. They call her Lady Palpatine, and ask if she would like a tour of the building. Rey, noticeably upset by it all, says yes.

    I just really wanted a “visibly confused” meme. I’m sorry.

    In the middle of a broken town, Finn speaks into a speaker, giving a speech about how he used to be a stormtrooper, and how he used to believe following orders would give him purpose. But he only found purpose once he started doing what was right; and that wasn’t in blindly following orders, it was in deciding who to follow. Finn urges the stormtroopers to think for themselves, to ask if they want to continue the cycle of families being torn apart like the ones they belonged to were. He asks if they want to only be numbers in a system, or people. He tells them that this is their best chance, because today is the day they can make the largest difference.

    Jannah then launches her attack, saving civilians and disarming stormtroopers without killing them. Once stormtroopers are surrounded, she gives one kneeling stormtrooper the offer of a blaster rifle in one hand, or an empty hand to help them up. This stormtrooper choses the hand, stands up, and takes off his helmet. The other surrounded troopers slowly follow. Jannah’s crew hands the stormtroopers old weapons over to the civilians, and they press forward throughout the city. The sounds of rebellion grow louder.

    They walk through the dirty hallways – a visible sign of the corruption of the Sith – and the Kaminoan states that the project has been the single most exciting thing her species have ever worked on. Cloning was always difficult, and a clone army required an impressive amount of resources, but the vision of her grandfather was so much more. He wanted them to clone a Force Sensitive being. It took decades upon decades, but they did succeed. They enter a room, full of vats of Snoke in the middle of creation.

    The sounds of battle rage outside; Zorri hops into the copilot’s chair of the ship Lando had given our heroes. Zorri states that her allies have gotten off planet. Rose asks if she’s really willing to go with her to rescue Poe. Zorri states that even when she didn’t join, the war still caught her. So now she’s joining, for good. Rose smiles, and the two head to the larger, Sith star destroyer. They sneak on board, and are able to find the prisoner’s cells easily. The first prisoner they find is a weak, but alive Kor Sella. Zorri helps her. Then next find Poe and Chewie. As Rose is breaking Poe out, Poe mentions that Kylo tortured them. Rose blurts out that she’s pregnant. This stuns Poe for a moment, and then he smiles and kisses Rose. He breaks apart the kiss to say that the Wayfinder isn’t on the ship anymore; Kylo Ren has it, and he knows where Kylo Ren is.

    Rey steps up to a class, closely examining a Snoke. Where they are wounded, crystals are present, as if the two are enraged in a battle for the soul of the monster. The largest vat is in the middle. Rey asks about that, the Kaminoan says that Palpatine wouldn’t say, but it was the first sample given to them, around the same time they were asked to work on the clone army. She continues, stating that the more funds were spent on the army, the more funds they had for Palaptine’s project, and the when the Empire was born, they had enough funds to last a lifetime. Which it did, of course. Rey asks about the crystals. The Kaminoan proudly states that it was her grandmother’s idea to introduce Kyber crystals into the cloning process. The clones now work as super chargers, able to turn miniaturized Death Star tech into true Death Stars; and that’s just the immature ones! Maturated clones can turn Death Star level weapons into…well…Starkiller Base. That’s the secret behind the super weapons, or so the Kaminoan hypothesizes. But a key needs to be active. A key programmed to either Palptine’s DNA.

    Rey is horrified, but the music suddenly cuts off.

    “So that’s how it works.” We see Kylo facing the vats. Rey turns away from him, in turn facing the Kaminoan. She asks if Kylo knew. The Kaminoan is confused, but admits that she was sworn to secrecy, like all of her kind; but yes, she did know. Rey ignores the worker. Kylo answers that he didn’t know for sure, but he had a suspicion. He wanted to lead Rey here, in order to find out.

    Yes, Snoke is a clone. Yes, Snoke is also Plagueis. Everyone wins. Then again, the movie itself tries that, and a lot of people felt cheated. I hope it works better here. Using Snoke as a battery/super charger in my mind helps explain the serial escalation the series has. Snoke powered Starkiller Base, despite not being physically present. Now immature Snokes power the Sith Fleet, giving every ship Death Star level capabilities they wouldn’t have otherwise.

    We cut to Jannah’s rebellion. It’s going successfully. Finn runs up into a transport ship, that starts taking off. A stormtroope runs up to Jannah, telling her that they've evaculated all of the civilians that they could. Jannah thanks the stormtrooper, marking him as the one Finn helped out before. Finn asks if she’s ready to take down a star destroyer. She grins, saying it won’t be her first time. They land, and the scene ends.

    We do a quick cut to General Hux walking down a hallway. We see that his day is going quite well. Until a stormtrooper comes to warn him of something. He is about to tell the stormtrooper off, but the trooper is suddenly shot and killed by the Sith trooper. Hux ducks behind cover, and they continue to fire on him. More F.O. troopers appear, firing on the Sith Troopers. Hux crawls over to the dead F.O. trooper, takes the rifle, and starts firing on the Sith as well. They start to pull back, and Hux stands up and decides this is the perfect time for a coup against Kylo and the Sith. “For the True Supreme Ruler!” he cheers, following the retreating Sith Troopers. Two of the F.O. troopers look at each other, shrug, and then follow him for the time being.

    This is a nice homage to the idea thrown around on this forum that if a stormtrooper civil war broke out, Hux would unknowingly join Kylo’s side. Right now, Kylo is pretty detached from the split (and would indeed join the Sith Trooper side), but the idea of Hux joining his enemy’s side is still hilarious. I wish there was more for Hux to do in this story. I originally had him touring the cloning facility with Kylo, and Force Rey present, but then it’s a trap to kill all the F.O. leadership that doubted Kylo; and Kylo’s not actually there and it’s a Force Projection…yeah, that got sloppy and confusing. I’ll probably think of another scene with him eventually. If this was a book I’d have him as an interlude character…

    Rey asks what now. The Kaminoan says that the latest shipment to the Outer Worlds was the last one; and the ones here are reserves in case something goes wrong. Kylo mentions that this will have to change, after he’s done with his latest mission. “Don’t you want to know where I am?”

    Rey pauses, and then gives in. “Where is that?” The Kaminoan answers, I don’t know.

    Kylo tells Rey to turn around. She does, and her face is pure shock.

    We do a quick cut to Ko Connix. She sees a star destroyer descending onto the planet. She warns everyone to get to their ships, and to scuttle the base. Snap comments that they won’t have time to use shield generators of necessary strength to defend against that barrage. Leia says to believe in the Force, and puts her hand out. The barrage starts. Leia lifts her hands, and the shields are soon strengthened. The barrage continues. Snap asks how long Leia can keep that up; Ko snaps at him and says long enough, and to get to his ship. Snap runs off.

    We see Kylo on the beach, farther out on unused wreckage. He watches as the star destroyer begins to fire. To a comm, he tells General Pryde to go forward with his plan.

    Leia’s previous mission involving a Death Star was about lowering the shields so it can be attacked. Now her las one involving a Death Star is strengthening the shields against an attack. I minor irony, but one that counts.

    In the Sith star destroyer, General Pryde is told of the coup resistance on the planet, the coup on the second destroyer, and prison escape on his shape. He orders a Sith officer to use Stormtroopers to find the prisoners, and then use Sith trooper to kill them all. Another officer reports that they just received orders to fire on Kamino. Pryde sends the command. The guns charge.

    The scene switches back to Rey. Kylo states that Rey’s friends on Kamino will soon be dead, and that her little rebellion is over. He should have joined her. So long, “Lady Palpatine.” In a moment of pure fury and rage, Rey runs towards Kylo, and tackles him, disappearing from Kamino, and confusing the Kaminoan scientist.

    FULL ON TELEPORTATION BOND LEVEL! I didn’t get a chance to show Kylo and Rey fighting earlier, so I guess this is my apology? I needed Rey off the planet, a way to show how strong their bond really is, and step into the next act. I’m also not entirely pleased at how talky-talky Rey and Kylo’s scenes have been throughout this revision, but here’s where that ends.

    Goodbye, Kamino…alright, now let’s talk about the major changes here. First and foremost, the change from Kijimi to Kamino. I’ve talked about this before, as a nice shoutout to AOTC and the PT as a whole. This worked on another level when I spit-balled the idea of Snoke being a battery for superweapons, and me really liking it. This works because now we have a reason for the serial escalation in the series, and a way to stop it, while also answering where Snoke came from, while also tying in the PT. SO HOPEFULLY FUTURE STORIES WOULDN'T HAVE TO DEPEND ON SERIAL ESCALATION.

    The stormtrooper rebellion is something we as fans have wanted for a long time, and I needed a way to work in Jannah earlier than the real movie actually did. Unfortunately, since I’m cutting a planet or two, the effect is really the same. I might try to fix that later, but unless I add her defecting earlier, or that she is teamed up with Lando at the beginning and joins them (an idea that actually might work, but then I’d need to work out a different sub-plot for Finn on Kamino), I’m not sure how I can physically do that. Yet.

    As for Pryde and Hux…now that I think about it, I might actually switch the two. The idea that Pryde is killed in a stormtrooper rebellion while Hux is working to destroy the Sith influence might work, but I doubt it. Food for thought, though.


    Poe and the crew see Kamino destroyed through a window, and realize they need to escape, ASAP. Rose asks if there’s a ship they can take; and BB-8 speaks up. Followed by Poe asking “what do you mean ‘where’s the scrap?’”

    A quick cut through a trash compactor later, they crew finds the Millennium Falcon, with the compactor about to turn on. They quickly make it onto the Falcon and Chewie and Poe fly it out.

    I like this throwback, since it works on both the ritual calling the Falcon a piece of trash/junk, as well as a fun homage to ANH. But it’s also unnecessary, so it might get cut.

    On the other star destroyer, Finn, Jannah, and the non-helmeted stormtrooper from before shot their way through Sith troopers, trying to reach the command post of the base. They run into Hux, who freezes. Everyone points their blasters at each other. Smugly, Hux tells his stormtroopers to fire on the traitors. Finn moves his gun slightly from the stormtrooper he was aimed on to Hux. A trooper on Hux’s side does the same, and soon all the guns are pointed at Hux. Hux is confused, then angry, and then resigned. He looks outside, and mourns the last day of the First Order. He is suddenly shot in the back by Jannah and Finn, who shrug and continue on towards the command.

    And thus, Hux ends. I toyed with the idea of Hux killing himself, like some dictators do when their reign starts to end (and like the Trevorrow leaks had). I still might do that, but I also don’t want to give Hux the satisfaction of choosing his own ending. So here he’s shot in the back by those who were once a part of a system he though infallable.

    They finally reach the helm, and Finn receives a call from the Falcon. He puts it through. Poe warns Finn that they need to head back to base ASAP. Kylo’s attacking there as they speak, and he has the Wayfinder. Jannah notes that they don’t have the coordinates. Finn does; he asks if the stormtroopers are willing to follow him into another battle. Jannah notes that they were raised for one thing; Finn counters with the fact they have a choice now. And Jannah states their choice is to follow Finn. They cut to lightspeed.

    Back on the Death Star, we see Rey get up from tackling Kylo. Kylo is shocked, but he recovers well. He states that he has the Wayfinder. Rey demands that he hands it over. He counters with “come and get it.” The two fight, leaving the base itself, and fighting like they do so in the movie. At a certain point Rey, nearly consumed by rage, demands that the Wayfinder belongs to her. Kylo taunts her, telling Rey to look at herself, to see if she can go back to her “mother,” now that she’s as corrupt as he is.

    Finn and Poe arrive at roughly the same time, and quickly engage the enemy star destroyers from above. The barrage continues, until Poe destroys the destroyer with the Falcon. Leia collapses. Ko asks, “mom?”** Leia whispers Ben’s name. Kylo’s head snaps up “mom?”, as the Princess falls, and Rey finishes the fight. Kylo Ren is dead. As life leaves the body, Rey reaches over and heals her enemy. He can’t begin to fathom why. Rey state that it’s what his “mother would have wanted.” She runs off.

    Poe and Finn land their ships, and set up a guard for the perimeter, knowing they’ll need to evacuate the base as quickly as possible. The medic who’s name I can’t remember comes up to Poe and Chewie, saying that something’s come up. Poe mentions that he needs to speak with Leia. The doctor mentions that Leia is dead. And the world freezes for the two of them. Finn hears this and goes to confront Chewie, but the Wookie roars in despair. Poe simply drops to the ground, frozen in shock.





    …and that’s where I’ll end it for today! Wowza I didn’t think I’d need a Part 3! This is going on FAR longer than I ever could have imagined! It’s more like a novel! Then again, this wasn’t unexpected for me. I dream of writing a novel someday, so planning out the trilogy like a trilogy of novels, in which there is more time to explore feelings, motivations, and places, is far more appropriate. But I’m also trying to plan this out like a three hour movie. Right now I’d say we’re at the 2:20 mark or roughly thereabout. We’ve got about 20 more minutes of action sandwiched between the hero’s darkest reflections and the proper denouement and ending. (Edit: After looking at Part 1 and this one, I think I'm a little off here. At the end of Part 1, I thought we were roughly in the middle of Act 2. I was wrong. The end of Tatooine is clearly the end of Act 1. Everything on Kamino until Leia's death is Act 2. The next post WILL be the last one...hopefully). Thanks again, everyone who read these. It means a lot to me, even if it's non-canon and the equivalent of fan fiction.)

    But I think I’ll save that for a proper post tomorrow, in which I can spend the rest of the wordcount on my thoughts, feelings, and lessons learned over this whole process, along with anything else I need to add. Anyways, see you all either tomorrow or the day after for the true finale of my Skywalker Saga "revision"!




    *In my mind this is shaped like a Rey and Rose book, where they finally grow to become friends. For Rose, this would explore her romance with Poe, with equal parts of her wanting to love him and pushing him away because she’s so conflicted about his role in Paige’s death. For Rey, it’s a weird moment of her past meeting her present/future. She’s using skills that helped her survive help the Resistance survive. Nothing has changed, and yet everything has. Will she revert to her old self? Rey also senses a bit of jealousy from Ko over her newfound closeness with Leia. So when Leia assigns Rose a mission to explore the deeper parts of the wreckage, Rose sees Rey’s discomfort and asks if Rey wants to join her, setting up the main plot of the novel.

    Leia would have her own arc with the Force Ghost of Anakin Skywalker visiting. Leia, so disturbed with this, would assign duties to Poe (in order for him to grow as a leader) and Ko, delighting the girl. Leia would be shirking Anakin, but he would persist, and eventually Leia would relent. She’d admit she might not ever forgive him for what he did to her planet, and the horror he brought, but she understood him; he understood how strong the urge to save your loved ones from death and darkness can be. Anakin would admit he would have gone to Ben had he been able to, but Ben’s own desire to do evil is stopping any Ghost from reaching the boy. Anakin does mention he has one last gift – a sorry inheritance, but the only one he can give – for Leia. Training, like she once did with Luke. Like he always dreamed of doing with his children.

    **The last italics of this post! I didn't have a place for them above that wouldn't interrupt the flow, so I decided to place them here. I didn't think I'd have Ko so blatantly call Leia "mom" in this story, or definitely not here. It surprised me writing it (which is I guess how discovery writers feel. That's such a cool feeling! But in small doses for me thankyouverymuch!) but it fit the scene so well. The three children of Leia, all reacting to her death. Ko's honesty of the situation, Ben's flicker of morality and humanity, and Rey's sheer shock, turned into honoring her will at that moment.
     
    #20 Use the Falchion, Feb 4, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2020

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