HUMOR FakingStarWars.net - Parody News and Satire!

This website is sooo funny
http://fakingstarwars.net/2015/03/25/top-10-jawa-dumpster-dive-finds/

 

Welcome to The Cantina @Summer , Canadian?

 

Welcome @Summer! I bet you're feeling peachy with so many like-minded fans here, eh?

 

I know Dwight is probably just taking a piss with this but it almost sounds legit, too legit not to post compated to his past "leaks." Thoughts?
http://fakingstarwars.net/2015/03/25/exclusive-the-force-awakens-full-trailer-description/

 

Pink looking Yoda-like aliens.... sounds like something Spoiler-babe reported, played by Simon Pegg... so it must be legit then

 

I don't think SB specified what kind of alien Simon Pegg was playing, besides that was first reported by @King3000.

 

Remember the rumors of Lupita playing an orange alien? Maybe the lighting was off in whatever image was being described and the alien was pink?

 

But yeah, it troubles me that it's not even trying to sound fake.

 

I asked Dwight about it and he said he found it on Reddit.

 

Ok, my intuition says Fake....

And here's why, IMHO... let's start

Debunking Part I

It runs close to 3 minutes and puts a lot of things to rest:
(POV of a Star Wars fan, not someone that just was shown the trailer at some event or something)

It opens like more traditional Star Wars trailers have, a figure watching two suns set on a small hill, while a familiar score plays. This is Rey and it's made 100% clear that she's no one we know's daughter and she wants off Tatooine bad. Max Von Sydow has a conversation with her about the dangers of the galaxy and Rey gets upset and runs out to see a TIE fighter crash. on the horizon.
(This is too much for a 3 minutes trailer... to establish clearly she’s not someone’s daughter and she wants off Tatooine BAD?... and a conversation... and runs out to see a Tie... we’re now 5-6 minutes in time)

Part II

from director JJ Abrams text
(I don’t think this is necessary in the trailer, you don’t sell that movie via the director... it’s Star Wars, not Super 8)
We see Poe and Finn and Rey in a cantina trying to convince Han to fly them off of Tatooine. "I'm retired" "Chewie growl"
(Again, if they are trying to convince him, dialogue... possible, but it spoils the movie BIG TIME, way too much IMHO... trailers are meant to sell a movie, not spoil it)
Comes the next chapter text
(Strangely, this differs from what Dwight reported on his site... so maybe it was modified on Reddit afterwards)

 

Part III
We see Gwendoline Christie's character telling Kylo Ren (looks like he's an unaffiliated mercenary) he'll get his payment when he tracks down Poe and Finn. A cloaked robot is also present.
(How did they make it clear in a 3 minutes trailer that Poe and Finn are the one Kylo Ren is supposed to be hunting?.. could be anyone... Unless GC’s character says... “Go after POE and REY)

Of the greatest adventure ever told... text
(Adventure can be told? Stories yes...)

Explosion of John Williams and the London Symphony
(Explosion of John Williams?)

Lots of scenes flash here.
(Easy... of COURSE there will be flashes of scenes, it’s a trailer)

Falcon avoiding TIES and new looking Star Destroyers
(At the same time? How can you avoid TIES and Star Destroyers, huge ship, at the same time?)

Finn and Poe speaking with pink looking Yoda like alien
(Ok... weak for a trailer where you have action scenes and flashes and exploding John Williams)

X-Wing v TIE fighter dogfight with something massive in the back drop in outer space. One of the pilots is definitely Adam Driver.
(Twice the TIES in a matter of seconds interrupted by people speaking?... bad editing)

Kylo Ren shooting down an X Wing from his ship.
(How do you know it’s Kylo Ren?)
Rey igniting a blue lightsaber.
(Ok)
A Chrome storm trooper igniting one back.
(Ok)
A cloaked robot taunting Finn
(Ok)
A Massive castle as a group of people cross a bridge towards it.
(Ok)
Han
Chewie
Leia
Theepio
Artoo.
(All of this is OK)
Kylo Ren on a narrow walk way. He ignites his broadswoard lightsaber and says "FIGHT ME!" and the voice is 100% Andy Serkis.
(We had to have it confirmed by official sources last time... I doubt the 100% sure... the poster wanted to make it clear that Kylo is played by Serkis)
On the opposite end, a green lightsaber ignites.
(OK)
THE FORCE AWAKENS text.

Sorry for the double post, I got mixed up with the coloring and the bold characters.
Anyway...

Final Verdict: Bad Fan Fiction Trailer edition, Kudos for fakingstarwars.net, again, correctly reporting fake spoilers

 

hahahahaha

 

Thank you for making me feel so welcome I am Canadian. Eh?

 

I would like 500 days with you.

 

Have at it cowboy

 

Also Canadian

 

Yay
Oh yay!!