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A Lucky Guy

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by PrincessLeiaCB3, Sep 15, 2016.

  1. PrincessLeiaCB3

    PrincessLeiaCB3 The Princess that was Promised
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    Hello Cantina friends!

    Well, just a short story inspired on this beautiful and moving piece of fan art of Han Solo and his little son Ben. Hope you like it! Feel free to give your feedback about it!



    A lucky guy

    IMG_1049.PNG

    Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, material mentioned on this. All rights reserved to Lucasfilm.

    Everything was fine.

    The little boy he was carrying on his arms fell asleep with his tiny dark-haired head resting over his shoulder. A light breeze was setting his small dark locks on a light motion on that slightly chilly afternoon.

    They were again on Endor for a quick repair stop. Not that he was really happy to see those small walking furballs again, but Leia insisted and aside of it, it was the nearest place to stop.

    He could not help but smile while watching the delicate features of his little son's face. His brown eyes now shut asleep, just like his mother's eyes.

    "Han Solo, a family guy! Still cannot believe it." And yet, there he was, carrying on his arms his child, son of a Princess and a Scoundrel. (Though, sometimes he was yet to admit that she was more scoundrel than him!)

    He touched gently his son's left cheek. The little boy's chubby face reminded him of the first time he laid eyes on his mother, a while ago on a detention block. There she was, standing in front of him, big brown eyes blazing, face bright from the short run she'd just taken, dark hair falling out of ridiculous coils around her ears, but still one of the loveliest women Han had ever seen. His mind wandered back to the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, a little bit later than that, just as they were through hyperspace setting course to the secret Rebel base:

    "It's not over yet" said the Princess with a small sigh while looking ahead at the blazing star field.

    "It is for me, sister." objected Han. "Look, I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the money."

    "You needn't worry about your reward," she assured him sadly, turning to leave. "If money is all that you love, then that's what you'll receive."

    On leaving the cockpit she saw Luke coming forward, and she spoke softly to him in passing. "Your friend is quite the mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything — or anybody."

    Luke stared after her until she disappeared into the main hold area, and then whispered, "I care." Then he moved into the cockpit and sat in the seat the Alderaanian princess had just vacated.

    "So, what do you think of her, Han?"

    Solo didn't hesitate. "I'm tryin' not to, kid."

    Luke probably hadn't intended his response to be audible, but Solo overheard his murmur of "Good" nonetheless.

    "Still," Solo ventured thoughtfully, "she's got a lot of spirit. I don't know, whaddya think? You think a princess and a guy like me..."

    "No," Luke cut him off sharply. He turned and looked away.

    Solo smiled at the younger man's jealousy, uncertain in his own mind whether he had added the comment to bait his naive friend — or because it was the truth.

    He chuckled. Little did he know back then that his involvement with the Rebellion would last longer than he was willing to admit. That he would put on hold his own interest in order to help others, especially his friends. The scoundrel who would resort to a blaster by his side and his good luck definitely would learn a lot of lessons on the way. (Lessons that would include somehow fall in love, been frozen in carbonite and almost thrown into a Sarlacc).

    Remembering that episode just after rescuing - and being rescued by – the Princess from the Death Star was quite funny, since back then he was baiting his friend with the obvious crush with the determined princess. Little did they know she was his twin sister!

    And yet, there were a lot of things he didn't understand. How come if the galaxy they lived in was so big, the droids were sold to this farm boy who went on with an old desert wizard to rescue his own sister? And what were the odds that the evil guy in a black cape who was chasing his friend at the Death Star, the one he helped to destroy, was their father? How come would Han Solo know back then that he was shooting at his father-in-law ship? He just sighed, holding his little one closer. After all, odds were something he was not so much of a fan.

    And still, he was not totally on this Force thing. Yeah, he knew that his friend Luke – ahem, brother-in-law – was a Jedi and thus his twin sister – his wife – was Force-sensitive too. And of course he'd had his fair share of exposure to events that could not be easily explained if not by the will of the Force. Hell, he had even witnessed the old wizard disappeared when cut in half by a lightsaber and his blaster shots stopped by his father-in-law. Either the Force might be something real or his luck kept coming back and forth, surprising him at moments when everything seemed lost – like that time aboard the Star Destroyer Dominion above Kashyyyk or right above the Sarlacc pit.

    His eyes went back to the little face over his shoulder while his hand was holding his son's tiny hand. Even asleep he could feel the boy grabbing his hand, maybe a reflex but it was something that moved him deeply inside.

    The air was feeling gradually cooler and he was just wearing his brown vest. He thought of going back to the Falcon to put his blue jacket on and put the boy to bed, but he was enjoying the peace of just being out there with his little son that he delayed that for a bit, at least until the cold was unpleasant enough for him and little Ben.

    He definitely couldn't wait to get his kid to learn to fly around the galaxy. He could see him older, growing strong and resourceful, maybe with the same bossy attitude from his mother, but anyway loving the Falcon as much as he did. Hopefully not an angel, like his mother wanted. Him and his pal Chewie – whenever he was around after having his planet back from the grasp of the Empire – would make sure of that.

    He smiled with his characteristic lopsided grin, thinking of what was laid ahead for him and his family. The promise of something new. Maybe there would be more children, why not? He didn't know yet and no point of worrying about the future. His here and now was perfect. Everything was fine.
     
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  2. Dork Lord of the Bith

    Dork Lord of the Bith PhD in Sith Ethics

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    I've said it before, and I'll say it again, your writing style is very high-level. I think it's awesome.

    PS: Ben in the picture looks more like a girl than a boy...:D
     
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  3. PrincessLeiaCB3

    PrincessLeiaCB3 The Princess that was Promised
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    You honour me too highly! Thanks a lot!!

    Lol maybe his mother liked him with longer locks than usual lol.
     
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  4. P1B5F

    P1B5F Rebel Official

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    Holy buckets... The best thing about a short story is that it always leaves you asking and wanting so much more. This is truly amazing and it makes me want to go watch TFA right now just to watch Han and Ben together...with Ben holding Han at the end
     
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  5. GingerByte

    GingerByte Jedi General

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    This is going to sound overly negative:

    Most of this needs to be rewritten - not entirely, just certain words feel out of order, certain words feel missing, needs more commas etc. I guess what I'm saying is it needs to be proof-read by an outside source who'll then provide feedback, because it seems that you haven't picked up on alot of these mistakes yourself.

    However, when I look past that, it's a well-constructed and nice story :).
     
    #5 GingerByte, Sep 15, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2016
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  6. PrincessLeiaCB3

    PrincessLeiaCB3 The Princess that was Promised
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    Aww Alex. When you announce it's going to sound overly negative, it loses its impact. And yeah, I'm such a beginner on writing stuff that any feedback is welcome and just makes me want to keep learning, rather than pulling me down. Thanks for the "honest" review! :p
     
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  7. GingerByte

    GingerByte Jedi General

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    I'll just give the most important advice, anywhere you can simplify or enhance a sentence with a "powerful" word, you should! For example: carrying becomes cradling, light breeze becomes gentle breeze, watching becomes observing. That sort of thing :). The number one problem with this though is your ons : most of your ons should be ins, or overs.

    Those are the only things I'll comment on, as I feel that doing anything more would make you reconsider your writing style too much, thus unintentionally ruining it :).
     
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  8. FN-3263827

    FN-3263827 First Order, Then Pie
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    i love this! the way you slide easily into Han's memory (which is familiar to us, too, and make the connections with Leia and even with Vader is wonderful (and a bit chilling). i like too, that this is more sweet than ominous. Han is completely clueless to any potential problem (and even contemplating other children!). Han is definitely a "here and now" character, flying by the seat of him pants, so it's totally like him to just be in the contentedness of the moment! so well done!

    as to your writing, having only read a couple of short pieces from you, i can see that you're still developing your style. as a respectful contradiction to what Alex said, i wouldn't worry about $10 words at this stage. sometimes the $1 word is not only sufficient, but most apropos. just as an example, consider Alex's suggestion of "cradling". does Han Solo really "cradle" Ben? or is he the kind of father who just slings the kid in the crook of his arm and feels comfortable that way? your choice of words contributes to your characterization in every aspect. and if you do want him to cradle Ben, you can get even more mileage out of the image by juxtaposing that with other behavior: he's careless holding other stuff, for example, but careful with his son. or, contrariwise, he's careless with everything! ask yourself how you want us to see Han and impress that image on us in stark relief. purposeful deliberateness: that's the soul of truly good writing.
     
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  9. PrincessLeiaCB3

    PrincessLeiaCB3 The Princess that was Promised
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    Thank you! Definitely grateful for your feedback. And yeah, this is a piece taken from the perspective of a guy who is quite pragmatic even in his wording :p
    --- Double Post Merged, Sep 16, 2016, Original Post Date: Sep 16, 2016 ---
    Thanks!! I know. Actually I watched TFA last weekend and I want to believe that, at one point, Han and Ben were happy. In my opinion life is made of moments. Believing life should be eternal happiness at every second is a fallacy. And even when it breaks my heart to think of that wretched moment at the Starkiller Bridge... in my headcanon they had their moments of true happiness.
     
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  10. GingerByte

    GingerByte Jedi General

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    Agreed, though most people seem to associate cradling with the rocking motion of a cradle bed. To cradle is just to support something.
     
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