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Develop your own short SW scenes

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by oldbert, Nov 29, 2016.

  1. oldbert

    oldbert Jedi General

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    Post a short description of your own favorite SW movie scenes.
    Funny, epic, sad and weird script pieces are welcome.

    I spend 1000 credits for the scene that gets the most positives!
     
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  2. Fenyx

    Fenyx Rebel Trooper

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    I would like to see following scene:
    Luke is sitting on his favorite cliff deep in contemplation. Suddenly the force ghost of Obi Wan appears in front of him and starts talking:" Luke you have learned much more about the living force and its origins. Rey will be the key to reestablish a new generation of Jedi. With your guidance they will not make the mistakes we made but they will need your help to have a chance against Snoke." And Luke responds:" Why me , I failed with Kylo Ren ." At this moment the force ghosts of Yoda and Anakin appear behind Obi Wan and Kenobi adds:" Because this time your are not alone , we stand by your side when ever you need us." After a moment of hesitation he takes a deep breathe and connects Rey through the force:" Rey we have to talk..."(green)
     
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  3. Bandini

    Bandini Force Sensitive

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    The KoR are breeching to the rebellion headquarters : Here's the General ! Take her prisonner. Leia defends herself with her officers but they are outmatched, she's abducted.

    Later in Kylo's spaceship, he finally met with his mother standing in front of her with a smile of victory. Leia said : You had an agent don't you, my son ? You knew exactly where we were and took us by suprise.

    Kylo smiles once again and orders two guards to take her mother with him to his HQ.

    As they were taking a lift to a higher floor, Kylo gets his lightsaber and takes down the two guards.

    Of course, mother we had an agent, it was you !

    Leia smiles to his son : We got it right my apprentice didn't we ?

    Kylo kneels : Yes, my master, your plan was pure genius, that Snoke screen worked so perfectly, the path is cleared, we are gonna bring peace to this galaxy with your guidance. We get rid of Skywalker, we get rid of that powerless smuggler and now, we're gonna be the royalty we are.

    Leia laughs, putting her hood on her head and says : People are so weak, you can manipulate them so easily, it was almost too simple ...

    Get up my apprentice, we have a lot more work to do.

    PS : English is not my maternal language, don't yell at me :D
     
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  4. oldbert

    oldbert Jedi General

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    It's the same with me. I'm not native. But hey we give our best, don't we? :) Cool twist!
     
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  5. Bandini

    Bandini Force Sensitive

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    It's good practice !
     
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  6. Fenyx

    Fenyx Rebel Trooper

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    So true but hard work on the other hand :D
     
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  7. DarthOfInformation

    DarthOfInformation Rebel General

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    It's just before daybreak on the planet BENKEI, where a JEDI is tracking a Separatist spy known only as JUMPER. The town of GEKI is sheltered in a rust-colored box canyon. To the east, through the mouth of the canyon, we see mountains in the distance capped with snow. The light is dim and bluish.

    It is quiet. The canyon is filling on either side with dozens of street vendors, and people slowly begin ambling out of rooms built into the face of the canyon. A massive outdoor market is beginning to set up in the canyon. A small ALIEN is preparing his food stall. He yawns. As his head leans back, his broad-brimmed hat begins to slide off. He catches it, pulls it tight to his head, and goes back to his work. His hat begins to move again, this time forward as he leans down, as if being pulled through the air. He pulls it back again, turns it over and inspects it, shrugs, and puts it on again. As he continues his work, his hat rises off his head and begins hovering across the road in the middle of the narrow canyon street. Shocked, he reaches for it, flailing, and trips, falling on his face.

    Cut to the JEDI, hidden in the shadows across the street, one hand outstretched as he uses the Force to pull the hat to him. He is hurriedly trying to wrap himself in a native cloak to cover his traditional Jedi robes. He pulls his Jedi hood back to reveal his is OBI WAN KENOBI. His belt is clearly missing its lightsaber.

    The hat slowly moving through the air. Suddenly, it is mowed down by a passing speeder. "Blast it!" Obi Wan exclaims. He takes a second glance at the speeder, realizing that it is piloted by the JUMPER.

    Obi Wan CHASES the speeder! He jumps over moving carts, slides under stalls, and vaults off of hot griddles as he flips, runs, and jumps his way through the evermore crowded marketplace! This chase sequence continues until Obi Wan is running along a narrow path built into the canyon wall, about 30 feet above the gawking throng below. He is tracking the speeder as it barrels through the market, when a hovering squadron of Separatist droids emerges behind him! Before he notices them, they fire, missing him but causing a rockslide ahead of him, blocking his path! He turns to face the droids. He is surrounded! "Surrender, Jedi!" shouts a droid. Obi Wan looks at them for a moment, then down to the crowd below which is silently starring at him. "I don't think so," he says, as he Force-pushes several droids into the rock wall and jumps up, grabbing another. It flies away from the canyon wall with Obi Wan hanging below! It swats at Obi Wan's hands, and he drops! He lands on the canvas covering above a stall. Just as he breathes a sigh of relief, the tarp rips and he falls into a pile of garbage. Popping up from the trash, he runs, yelling over his shoulder "Next time get a compactor!" to a bemused shopkeeper.

    He catches up with the speeder just as it stops inches from the enclosed end of the box canyon. The Jumper wears dark clothes and an opaque helmet. They step off the idling speeder slowly. Their gloved hand pulls a wicked looking vibro-blade from their coat. Obi Wan puts his hand out toward a collection of cooking implements hanging above a nearby stall jam-packed with strange looking utensils. Without looking, he pulls one toward him, only to find it is an oversized ladle.

    Jumper swings at Obi Wan. He parries with the ladle, and they begin an intense MELEE, smashing into stalls, the vibro-blade swinging inches from helpless hawkers! They fight their way down the street, toward the open end of the canyon. They are framed by the dusty walls and the sun rising over the glimmering mountains in the distance. Obi Wan fights with a series of odds and ends he picks up as they tumble through the now-full marketplace as the crowd cheers the fighters on! Finally, Jumper disarms Obi Wan, who is on the ground. As he raises his vibro-blade the is a loud CLANG! and the Jumper collapses. The camera pans down, revealing the diminutive alien whose hat Obi Wan was attempting to disguise himself with. The alien holds a heavy cooking pot in his hands. He smiles nervously. The crowd goes wild!

    Obi Wan stands, but before he can thank the alien, the remaining hovering droid swoops in and scoops up Jumper, flying off above the canyon wall and into the sunrise.

    Obi Wan looks at the alien, then back to the sky and says "I hate it when someone takes what's mine." The alien vigorously nods in agreement, and his hat falls off. Obi Wan picks it up, hands it to him, and walks out of the canyon.
     
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  8. Alamact

    Alamact Demon of the Trident
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    Well, if I'm going to do it, I might as well do it from the beginning. Some of you may recognize what material this script is referencing - it is, quite literally, the very first scene.



    A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...


    STAR WARS

    ACT I

    THE FALLEN KNIGHTS


    It is a period of conflict unending in
    the galaxy. The vicious SITH EMPIRE and
    the GALACTIC REPUBLIC fight for control
    of a divided Outer Rim, mired in a
    costly stalemate.

    Many JEDI KNIGHTS, valiant defenders of
    the Republic, lay down their lives to
    halt the advance of the dark warriors of
    the Sith, as the great war reaches its
    second crucible.

    Hoping to escape the price of his duty,
    a lonesome Jedi Knight books passage
    under the guise of an Imperial refugee
    headed towards neutral space....

    The camera slowly PANS across the star field to reveal a
    large planet -- eclipsing our view -- accompanied by its
    small moon. NAR SHADDAA. Spacecraft is seen in DENSE TRAFFIC
    across this large distance of space as we fade to...

    INT. CHISS ASCENDANCY CRUISER CREW DECK - NIGHT

    A man. Gazing across the starboard view in solace. DOOP
    SKYCHAFER (21, in simple red robes). Our hero. After a long
    beat, we cut to...


    WIDE SHOTS of the crew deck, bustling with activity and
    guard patrols, passengers conversing with one another,
    interlaced with a SOOTHING HUM of the ship's engines.

    CLOSE ON DOOP: TWO ARMORED TROOPERS slowly enter our view
    from behind the hero. The focus switches to them.


    CHISS OFFICER
    The Admiral will see you now.
    Beat.

    A CHISS OFFICER (26, brown uniform) is revealed standing
    betwixt the troops. He is uptight and has a stiff posture.

    Without muttering a word, Doop nods and follows his escort
    out of the scene and INTO...

    INT. CHISS ASCENDANCY CRUISER CORRIDOR - NIGHT

    A WIDE CORRIDOR. Our hero observes his surroundings as he
    walks down the dimly-lit hallway. FOCUS ON: a CHISS
    SCIENTIST (24, prissy, high-class) having a HEATED ARGUMENT
    with another officer in CHEUNH, the Chiss language. This is
    MISSY.

    When walking past them, Doop bumps into Missy and GRAZES
    her shoulder. This may be intentional.

    MISSY
    Brute!
    This solicits but a BRIEF SMIRK from Doop who comes face to
    face with...

    A door. After a brief pause, the door opens to reveal...

    INT. CHISS ASCENDANCY CRUISER COMMAND DECK - NIGHT

    THE ADMIRAL'S OFFICE. A desk in the middle. A banner hanging
    on the wall high above... and GRAND ADMIRAL SNOTE (48, stern)
    seated behind his station. There is a weighty presence to
    him.

    SNOTE
    Mr. Althe.
    (beat)
    Take a seat, if you will.
    Doop does as he's ordered. He is now sitting opposite of the
    Admiral, separated solely by the desk resting between them.

    SNOTE
    I trust you are well aware of the
    purpose behind this meeting.
    Doop stares silently at Snote, suppressing any tension that
    tries to escape into the open.

    SNOTE
    No?

    DOOP
    You are not fond of deserters.

    SNOTE
    On the contrary, Mr. Althe...
    Snote edges closer towards the desk as his face is now fully
    lit, revealing his morose expression.

    SNOTE (CONT'D)
    I envy them.
    (beat)
    This war has claimed many lives. Do you
    find it so hard to believe I harbor
    sympathies for those seeking to escape
    it?

    DOOP
    Then why am I here?

    SNOTE
    You are here precisely because you are
    not, "Mr. Althe".
    Tension permeates the air. The scene shifts to a
    nefarious mood.

    SNOTE
    We have found your papers to be forgery.
    Now, isn't this an interesting
    predicament?

    DOOP
    I can explain!

    SNOTE
    No need for that.
    Suddenly a RUSTLING is heard in the ROOM as Snote raises his
    hand in a motion and VIOLENTLY PULLS AWAY Doop's CONCEALED
    LIGHTSABER into a tight grip. Doop is horrified.

    Snote examines the weapon as his grip loosens. No trace of
    emotion can be seen behind his cold, calculative stare.

    SNOTE
    The weapon of a Jedi.
    He rests the lightsaber next to him.

    SNOTE (CONT'D)
    Oh, don't think I haven't sensed your
    presence ever since you walked aboard
    this ship.
    (beat)
    You reek of the Force.
    Doop is entertaining the notion of escape and makes an
    uncomfortable wiggle across his chair.

    SNOTE
    (jaded)
    Escape is futile.
    The shifting comes to an immediate halt.

    SNOTE (CONT'D)
    An armed Jedi Knight snuck aboard my
    cruiser, denied any sense of identity,
    and tried to masquerade as one of the
    noble families of Ziost.
    (beat)
    You have some gall.

    DOOP
    I am not a Knight.

    SNOTE
    No? Maybe you're not. Whatever your
    reasons for being here, sadly I cannot
    deal with anything lesser than fact.
    The pair of guards now start to approach the desk after a
    short gesture from Snote.

    SNOTE
    And the fact of the matter is: I cannot
    have an enemy walk freely amongst my crew.
    Doop, now noticing the troopers approach, MAKES a QUICK
    TWITCH to get up from his chair -- but one of the troopers
    BUTTS his RIFLE on Doop's head!

    CUT TO BLACK.
     
    #8 Alamact, Nov 30, 2016
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2016
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  9. oldbert

    oldbert Jedi General

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    Thanks for that great piece @Alamact! I could feel the tension levels uprising to max value.. Cool Snote!
     
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  10. Lord Phoenix

    Lord Phoenix Rebel Trooper

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    Wow, really good ideal!!!
     
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  11. Alamact

    Alamact Demon of the Trident
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    I appreciate the praise! Yeah, had loads of fun adapting Snote into a different medium - he's a very easy character to write for.
    Thanks! It's actually based on this little thing from the forums themselves. In this case, I've tried to adapt the first half of the prologue into a scene whilst staying true to the general outline of the plot and the nature of the characters themselves. Most notably, I've attempted to establish who Doop and Snote were as characters just by using one short conversation.
     
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  12. Bosc

    Bosc Force Sensitive
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    My apologies, everyone. I moved the thread last night in an attempt to put it in what I thought was the right forum, but I guess it wasn't set up for that. This should work now.
     
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  13. AstromechRecords

    AstromechRecords Jedi General

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    i WILL give beats instead of a script:

    - Luke and Biggs are under the stars on tattooine talking about their dreams of joining the mpire as obi1 watches them.
    - Biggs reveals that he is leaving in the morning and luke wants to go but has to help his uncle.
    -they spend the evening hunting wamprats and biggs shows luke his t-65 x-wing.
    -biggs begs him to come but ends up promising to get him into the rebellion with giving luke a secret code.
    -luke promises to keep it a secret while obi-wan shakes his head in disbelief, not realizing whats to come because of qui-gon's teaching of always being in the present and not the future.
     
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  14. Lord Revanous

    Lord Revanous Force Sensitive

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    Sorry if it's a bit long guys, was just yping and lost track.

    - Luke Skywalker walks down the narrow entrance way of the Jedi temple, he is followed closely by three hooded figures.
    Their pace quickens as they reach the exit, but before they can reach the outside, they are stopped by seven dark figures, their robes are as dark as the night, some wear makeshift helmets and carry melee weapons, Luke can sense the evil intent this group carries.
    - Luke stops, removing his hood, looking at the leader standing ahead of the group, "Ben, what have you done, what have you become?" Luke mutters, with a saddened look.

    - Kylo removes his hood, revealing a half face black mask, that covers one eye, mouth and scar delivered at the hands of Rey a year ago. He glances through his one visible eye, now red and corrupted by hate. His voice distorted and not far off Vaders now, "Another old man, standing in my way, I will not make this painless Skywalker".

    - Rey steps forward with another male Jedi, she retrieves the staff from her back, letting out the blue beam from the top, she goes into a low crouch stance, the blue saber staff faces Kylo and the Knights of Ren. The other Jedi retrieves what appears to be Lukes blue graflex from his belt , igniting the beam, taking stance next to Rey.
    -The knights of ren pull out their weapons, it's clear they're prepared to combat lightsabers, two even ignites red lightsabers of their own, standing at both sides of Kylo. Ren doesn't even flinch, he continues to stare at Luke and the other Jedi, behind Rey and Jacen Skywalker. Kylo not breaking his intense stare, puts his hand in his robe, pulling out his modified crossguard lightsaber. Igniting it, it crackles and sparks, the sounds echo through the quiet halls of the Jedi temple. "You may have survived last time, but today you will die....." Kylo mutters raising his lightsaber, pointing it Luke "He's mine, kill them all".
    - The two saber wielding Knights leap clashing with Jacen and Rey, they exchange blows. Kylo steps back walking around the side, as the unnamed Jedi male clashes with another Knight, the narrow entrance erupts into chaos. Luke ignites the powerful green beam, focusing his eyes on Kylo his former apprentice.
    Luke: "Ben, I failed you, for that I am sorry, but you must stop this madness, your grandfather would never communicate with you like that, you where manipulated"
    -They now are face to face, circling around one another. In the background, Jacen force pushes a Knight back, and yells "Kyle", and leaps blocking one of the Knights electrosword before it can strike the other Jedi. Jacen, counter spins the attack slicing the Knight across the stomach.
    Kylo: "None of you deserve this power"
    - Kylo charges forward, spinning around attacking Luke, they clash in a spark of green and red, they counter attack one another, it's clear Kylo has been trained by someone powerful, his power and skill has increased ten fold.
    - Rey's blue beam busts through the back of a knight, she lifts him up and force pushes him out the entrance of the temple. She crouches again as Jacen and Kyle join her, four remaining Knights attack again.
    - Luke and Kylo continue to exchange blows, Kylo force push Luke back into the wall, knocking his lightsaber out his hand, Luke is stunned for a moment by the power Ren now posses, Kylo brings his red saber down but Luke raises his hand up using the force to block the strike. Luke uses his other hand to retrieve his saber down the hall. Before it can reach him, Kylo's attack on Luke is halted by Kyle force pushing and charging at him, Kylo and Kyle clash sabers, exchanging a few blows before Kylo cuts Kyle's saber in half and then slices his arm off from the elbow. Kyle lets out a scream in pain.
    - Luke rushes to his feet, clashing with Kylo before he can finish the young padawan, Luke quickly begins to over power Kylo, forcing him back to his remaining Knights. Kylo, steps back and Luke uses a massive display of force pushing Kylo and the remaining three knights of ren out the entrance and into the courtyard.
    - Kylo rises to his feet, staring into the temple, realizing he is defeated, he pauses, turns around and begins heading for his shuttle. "Level it" he commands into his mask. Luke, turns around, "Move into the temple, now!". Jacen and Rey pick up the fallen Kyle and begin running back into the temple.
    - As Kylo's shuttle takes off, a low flying destroyer begins bombarding the surface of the planet.
     
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  15. oldbert

    oldbert Jedi General

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    Nobody will catch @Alamact anymore.
    Congrats!
    @Alamact: You will need some extra credits for your casino trips here anyways, won't you?
    Perhaps you have a link for a funny game...
     
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  16. Alamact

    Alamact Demon of the Trident
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    Oh, I'm not too big on betting. However, thank you very much for the credits, and for the terrific thread idea. I had a lot of fun doing the script bit and it's always nice to see this kind of engagement from an internet community.
    Well, now that you mention it - I'm anxiously awaiting the release of the next South Park RPG. As for the comic, I already posted the link here as a response to @Lord Phoenix.
     
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