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HUMOR My version of backstory to TFA in response to the previous one

Discussion in 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' started by Count...your toes, Mar 15, 2015.

  1. Count...your toes

    Count...your toes Rebel General

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    Having recently read a thread about backstory that sounded dumb and turned out to be false, I thought I'd have some fun and create my own ridiculous backstory.

    The following probably never happened, and if it did, I didn't know about it:

    1. Chewie flies the falcon in between ROTJ and TFA

    2. Rey got really good grades in grammar school

    3. The ewok celebrate annually the destruction of the Death Star

    4. Han doesn't die in between ROTJ and TFA

    5. On the third Thursday before TFA begins, Leia takes 2 ibuprofen because she has a headache, also, she doesn't die in between ROTJ and TFA

    6. At least one time between ROTJ and TFA, Luke wears blue underware. Oh, and also doesn't die

    That's all for now, I won't be returning with more, because just making stuff up is misleading and boring. And I won't be taking any question since it's all made up anyways and doesn't have to make sense

    May the force be with you
     
    #1 Count...your toes, Mar 15, 2015
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  2. MarsPhoenix

    MarsPhoenix Sith Psychiatrist

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    I think it's a natural phenomenon.
    It happens when it's been a while no official announcement is made. It would be interesting to analyse the cycle :)

    And sincerely, a LOT has been discussed on what we know already... even the Spoilerbirds that come and go these days, just press on the replay buttons of previous Spoilerbirds.

    I guess what is important is to see it as a natural phenomenon. That's part of the game :)

    In fact, we could start to go back and make a list of what we 100% sure know about TFA...

    You will see, it's a small, small list :)

    That being said, here are my official spoilers:

    - Our heroes (most of them) left Endor after the events of ROTJ
    - Luke survives the events between ROTJ and TFA
    - Sylvester Stallone was never called for Boba Fett auditions
    - A baby Ewok is called Lando Jr somewhere on Endor (runs)
     
    #2 MarsPhoenix, Mar 15, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2015
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  3. Rebo

    Rebo Nearsighted Whill Guardian
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    Ok, here's mine.

    Shortly after the battle of Endor the Rebels pushed back the empire enough to start setting up a new Jedi Order and Government. It is a place of hope...of intelligent discourse and examinations of the future of the democracy. Luke and Leia are at the helm leading the new republic. But just as things got up and running, an Imperial defector comes in claiming to know that Darth Vader was secretly Luke and Leia's father. Not want to accept the truth, many Rebels turn on the defector and all of his insider information.

    "No!" they say. "That's not true....that's impossible!" But the New republic is torn in two. Half believe the information while the other half think it is all part of a massive misinformation campaign being given to the Rebels to throw them off the truth and seed conflict amongst the ranks. As this infighting continues, more secret sources come forward with new information that conflicts with the Imperial defector's reports. These say that Luke and Leia have no ties to Vader. That they are innocent of all charges. The Rebels jump to embrace the new reports enthusiastically without vetting the sources, even as Luke and Leia hide their own knowledge of the truth. But again, things break down as it turns out the new reports are not coming from Imperial agents but from within the highest ranks of the Rebellion itself. Lando has been feeding these fake spy reports in order to attempt to protect Luke (or possibly just because he was bored). But it backfires on him as he is banished from the New Republic for treasonous activities.

    In the end it is too much for Luke and he leaves the New Republic to go into hiding while Leia cannot stand to do so and stays behind hiding the truth of her heritage. But it is too late. The citizens of the New republic continue to argue and argue over whose information was real and whose was a misinformation campaign. Leaving the republic weak and vulnerable to new threats as the dark side awakens from its slumber and approaches...
     
    #3 Rebo, Mar 15, 2015
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  4. Count...your toes

    Count...your toes Rebel General

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    ...lando jr...awesome...
     
    #4 Count...your toes, Mar 15, 2015
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  5. Kylo Samurai

    Kylo Samurai Rebel General

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    I love how your story basically sums up the Cantina :)
     
    #5 Kylo Samurai, Mar 15, 2015
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  6. Rebo

    Rebo Nearsighted Whill Guardian
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    Glad someone got it. :)
     
    #6 Rebo, Mar 15, 2015
  7. Pastor Barndog

    Pastor Barndog Force Attuned

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    We need a new Icon for ratings after this post. It should be Han and the rating is labeled "I know."
     
    #7 Pastor Barndog, Mar 15, 2015
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