Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

Hmm... maybe? I don't think I can see Columbo becoming an assassination unit, however. He's a detective, first and foremost.

This is everything I could have wanted and more. Small note, however: there was that Fluke spin off from February 25th to March 5th, 2012. Though that wasn't such a long time period, all things considered...

 

Since for some STRANGE INEXPLICABLE REASON you GIVE IN to your INNER SUSPICIONS that NARLOCK is ACTUALLY a ROBOT, you TRY to DOOP the PITIFUL BAND of CLONES into SUBMISSION by PROPOSING a TRADE.

THEIR UNDIVIDED OBEDIENCE in EXCHANGE for some GENUINE NEIMOIDIAN DELICACY. Already comes PRE-MARINATED!

NARLOCK: "Vi-victory?"

You betcha, NARLOCK!



The GUNGANS are TOO STUPID to be DOOPED by your OFFER! They don't UNDERSTAND the SIMPLE VALUES of BARTERING and SUCH COMPLEX CONCEPTS as EXCHANGING GOODS.

DOOP: "Oh, to HELL with this!"



"VICTOOOOORY!"

THAT'LL TEACH that ROBOT to POSSIBLY TRY to MESS WITH you in THE FUTURE! Nothing like some HEALTHY DOSE of PARANOIA.



That... doesn't LOOK like a ROBOT.



You CONDEMNED an INNOCENT MAN to a BRUTAL, AGONIZING DEATH at the HANDS of some RETARDED CANNIBALS. Your ACTIONS award you with ONE RED POINT. You're NOT GETTING yourself OUT OF THIS ONE, MISTER. WEAR your REDNESS with PRIDE!

No two ways about it!

(Actually, there are severa-)

SHUT UP, YOU! REASON HAS NO PLACE HERE.



You PICK UP a LIGHTSABER from the RECENTLY-DECEASED SITH LORD to REPLACE your OWN. Just one TINY PROBLEM. RED is NOT YOUR LIGHTSABER COLOR because this ADVENTURE is COLOR-CODED for your SIMPLICITY!

Actually, since you GAINED some RED POINTS merely a couple of PANELS AGO, you might CALL it some UNIVERSAL KARMA bantha poodoo.

At least you'll be ABLE to PASS as a SITH LORD from now on. That is, if you don't meet any REPUBLIC STRAGGLERS on your WAY OUT. Chances of that HAPPENING, however, are EXTREMELY LOW.



In the NEXT PANEL you COME ACROSS some REPUBLIC STRAGGLERS.

FORCE-DAMMIT!



HOLY SH*T! That BARTENDER just CRACKED the NECK OFF of that CLONE and SLAMMED HIM into the GROUND!

This is ONE GUNGAN you're NOT SUPPOSED to MESS AROUND WITH!



The MELLOW FELLOW individual next to him WONDERS about your SUDDEN APPEARANCE into the PANEL. He is ALARMED because this is CLEARLY NOT what was SUPPOSED to HAPPEN in the SCRIPT!

IN FACT, CAPTAIN CARDBOARD and his BRUTISH THUG weren't SUPPOSED to APPEAR AGAIN in this INFERNALLY LONG ACT at ALL!

What do you do?

 

Sorry for the delay, once again. Had a hilarious Saturday involving buying a PC Case for a friend and actual cardboard. Could absolutely, under no circumstances, be avoided.

I was going for Doop not actually caring for the difference between a Mon Calamari and a Gungan. To him, it's just the same lousy amphibian-type alien. Similarly, you also see an attempt (albeit a poor one) to incorporate British slang in Missy's chapters (this is actually a Missy chapter).

JUN: "That’s close enough. I just single-handedly levelled the Imperial base of operations to rubble. A cocky Sith apprentice like yourself shouldn’t mess with me."
DOOP: "Oh, don’t worry about my allegiances. I’m actually a Jedi Knight."
JUN: "Here? On Dantooine? Please, there haven’t be Jedi on this backwater graveyard in centuries. You’ll have to do better than that, I’m afraid."

DOOP: "No, no, it’s true. I’m Doop Skychafer, padawan to Master Tyren. I came here on a secret mission to stop the occupation!"
JUN: "Sounds like crap. And Doop Skychafer, really? You expect me to believe that’s an *actual* name?"
DOOP: "What’s yours then, you jaundiced Peedunky?"
JUN: "Jun Bland. It’s a *real* name, you see."



DOOP: "I’ve heard literal pieces of sh*t having more interesting names than yours, Captain Cardboard."
JUN: "Hey now, you’re pushing your luck, little Sith."
DOOP: "Little? If I had any desires to consort with filthy alien trash like yourself, you might as well call me *daddy*. Luckily for me, I’ve no such delusions."

JUN: "I’m warning you..."
DOOP: "Well pardon me for not igniting my lightsaber! I sure hope your parents left you on some provincial hellhole because I can’t stand another minute of you. Imagine what damage eighteen years would have done!"

JUN: "Shut your mouth, you! You... you delinquent!"
DOOP: "Someone needs to work on their insults. Now, for the last time, I am a Jedi Knight on a mission to Dantooine. Either help me or get out of my way."



Uh-oh.

You just HAD to PICK that LIGHTSABER UP, DIDN'T YOU?



ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, this ONE actually WORKS!



No PERFORMANCE ANXIETY for DOOP SKYCHAFER this time around, NOPE. Just RIDICULOUSLY DUMB EXCUSES that NO ONE will BELIEVE. Well, except maybe THE FLUKE.



JUN: "Okay, tell me one good reason why I shouldn’t gun you down right now."
DOOP: "I would just deflect the blaster bolt back towards you?"
JUN: "This is a sniper rifle."
DOOP: "Oh."

DOOP: "I *knew* I should have practiced Soresu!"

JUN: "Any last words, Imp?"
DOOP: "Don’t shoot! Okay? I’ll tell you the truth! For real, this time!"
JUN: "I’m listening..."
DOOP: "I’m a Sith. It’s true. Won’t deny it."
JUN: "Go on..."
DOOP: "But I just want to reform, man! Come on, you gotta trust me on this. I can’t harm you, anyways! Not with that lumbering beast standing beside you!"



That's right! There's NO SITUATION that you CAN'T DOOP OUT OF!

Works EVERY SINGLE TIME.



DOOPED! With the AID of your TWO NEW COMPANIONS, you can finally START your VAULTBUSTERS TEAM.

Who you gonna call?

VAULTBUSTERS.

Of course, you may possibly be imagining all of this due to SHOCK after being on the RECEIVING END of LUNK'S FALCON PUNCH.



Meanwhile... ABOARD BLUEBALLS. In the EERIE MEDITATION CHAMBER, GRAND ADMIRAL SNOTE is PLOTTING.

So, pretty much your usual TUESDAY.



You know, the AUTHOR should REALLY LEARN to DRAW these CHAT BUBBLES a bit BETTER. They SOMETIMES get CONFUSING to READ, AM I RIGHT?



AH. SLIGHTLY BETTER.



Wait, wait, WHERE did ALL the PLOT GO? It was FINALLY GETTING GOOD!

You are now MISSY. BLOODY ABOUT TIME, RIGHT? You've been waiting for your NEXT CHAPTER to arrive for so long that you were dreading about potentially becoming a GLORIFIED NPC, and this kind of BOLLOCKS just isn't RIGHT for a LADY of your HIGH CLASS! Your band of unusual compatriots is now LOCATED inside the TACTICAL ROOM of the JEDI ENCLAVE.

SABER is busy BRANDISHING his SABER. RATCHET is DISCUSSING the CENTENNIAL TURKEY with COLUMBO and an ARMY of BRAINLESS CREATURES are slowly but most assuredly descending down the plains towards your LOCATION.

What do you do?