HUMOR Ridiculously fun theories

Why just one? Grievous had four. Might as well give him like 10 of them and really let him go at it.

Actually I imagine the slugs trying to make love the star destroyers as well.

 

I hope my late night stabs at humor did not kill the idea that serious speculation or theories are welcome and that may have been the hope of the OP.

I was going through characters that might be interesting to draw on that might still be alive and stll have stories to tell us.

Darth Maul was left as a thall to the Emperor. Which means if not dealt with by the Rebels cartoon means Maul is out there.

Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker's padawan is potentially alive if the keep her alive if the cartoon keeps her alive.

Asajj Ventress is alive living as a bounty hunter. Or could she retun to Drathomir and deicate herself to a new coven of night sisters.

 

He spins on the 1's and 2's and 3's since he uses Luke's recovered hand to man the third turntable.

 

After learning that Daisy Ridley's character is named Rey (which has been mentioned to mean king) I believe she is he secret daughter of Emperor Palpatine. She is in hiding perhaps not even aware of her heritage. Sheeve was from Naboo. Captain Typho was also from Naboo. So did Typho hide her from her own father or was he ordered to hide her by Palpatine himself. Typho will be played by Max Von Syndow and is much more cyborg.

 

Hopefully Luke grabbed his AND Vader's sabers.

 

Vader's Saber fell down the shaft.

 

Warwick Davis is portraying Willow a force sensitive from the planet Nelwyn. Willow will save the day when Luke fails

 

Get out Peck. You are crawling with brownies.

 

((If I grave digging here and would prefer a new thread, no problem))

Max von Sydow's character is Lobot.

It also immediately explains why he has the saber.

 

Lando pays Han back for putting a scratch on the Falcon by having his cyborg man-servant watch over Han's kid...Makes as much sense as anything else in Star Wars. I'm down.

 

Finn dies in the first half of the movie cause he ran to slow towards the Falcon. His introduction is totally pointless.

Luke has been hiding on board the Millennium Falcon in one of the smuggling compartments all along. (10 years)

Kylo Ren is Reys son.

BB8 is actually Supreme Leader Snoke. That big First Order military assembly we saw is his big reveal/plot twist scene after he has been spying on Rey. The little ball droid comes rolling slowly and menacing towards the podium between all the stormtroopers and Kylo Ren gets down on his knees holding a mic for him so he can address the crowd with a evil voice. Andy Serkis mocap work was totally pointless but he doesn't know that yet....

All the stormtroopers speak Chinese now , its very confusing.

C3PO has a husband. When droids marry they exchange limbs , that's why he has a red arm.

Captain Phasma trips on a banana peel and accidently falls down into the Sarlacc pit before we get to see her full potential.

Adam Driver plays Leia

Domhnall Gleeson plays an imperial general like everyone suspected but he is really silly and has a super annoying voice , he will be the Jar Jar Binks of this trilogy and Domhnall's acting career will never be the same after this movie.

JJ has done all the lightsaber sounds with his mouth. He wanted a more organic feel to the fight scenes.

Max von Sydow plays a stand up comedian who entertains the First Order troops. He isn't that good and gets killed by Snoke ( BB8 ). They bring up a new comedian and it turns out to be admiral Ackbar in disguise (eyepatch). He tells a joke ending with something being a trap and everyone laughs. He lives to see another day and delivers useful information to the rebels.

One of the superweapons makes a fart noise . Its very anticlimactic.

 

Um..lmao....

 

Nothing is as funny or creative as the forum member post saying how The First Order's secret WMD back fires & propels the young leads into a time vortex/time travel where they wind up in the ANH era & the rest of TFA is a re-make of Star Wars(1977).

That wacko plot would actually be FUN to watch .

 

Luke was stranded on the "island" with a bunch of rebels - only Luke makes it through the tough times - think Donner party.....his cauldron is preboiling when Rey arrives.....

 

I could actually see that happening...

 

Sorry, this can't be parody... because it makes perfect REAL sense. Or at least the first sentence does.

 

Those photos above are my two favorite crazy theories right now.

I also like the idea Captain Phasma is the daughter of Mon Mothma. "Mon Mothma" practically screams, "my mother" and Phasma is very close to "Plasma" meaning blood, so "Mon Phasma" hints at "my blood". Also Mon Mothma seemed to have the most contact with the Bothan spies, so it's not unreasonable she'd produce a daughter who winds up being a high level spy within the First Order, working for Leia.

It also explains how they learn of the location of the secret base and why she makes sure Gleeson wipes out the First Order with the Array.

So the clues are right in front of us folks.

I also think Chewie is going to owe Finn a life debt before we're done. Poor guy, he just paid off the last one.