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HUMOR Catastrophic Plot Twist

Discussion in 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' started by Deadeye, Nov 14, 2014.

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  1. Deadeye

    Deadeye Clone Commander

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    I was conversing with my friend about E7, and our discourse took a strange twist. We started speculating (just for fun) on what the most catastrophic plot twist for TFA could possibly be. And by "catastrophic", I mean a plot twist so outlandish and unacceptable it would cause even die hard SW fans to swear off the franchise forever, forcing Disney to cancel all future SW projects.

    Please don't misconstrue this thread, I do not want any such disaster to happen. And in fact, given that we have suffered through the PT, I seriously doubt that such a devastating plot twist could even be constructed. This is merely a humorous thought exercise.

    So here is my entry:

    We learn during The Force Awakens that the main Sith culprit for this entire trilogy is in fact Wicket, the Ewok who befriended Leia in ROTJ. In flashback scenes we learn that at the Ewok celebration of the Death Star's destruction, Wicket lifts Luke's light saber. Luke thinks that he simply lost it during his Death Star escape, and constructs a new one. But in the following three decades Wicket becomes a powerful dark-side force user by hunting small game with his light sabre, and levitating logs on Endor. He constructs a mini-Vader outfit from the remains of all the dead storm-troopers. And eventually even learns to shoot force lightning, causing many forest fires in the process. In the climax of TFA, Darth Wicket confronts Luke and slices him into little pieces using the old green light sabre that Luke constructed decades earlier.
     
    #1 Deadeye, Nov 14, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2014
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  2. The_Coon

    The_Coon Rebelscum

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    What u said only with jar jar
     
    #2 The_Coon, Nov 14, 2014
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  3. PoolShark

    PoolShark Rebel Commander

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    Jar Jar (played by Hayden Christensen) would have to be Wicket's apprentice in order for this to be truly catastrophic.
     
    #3 PoolShark, Nov 14, 2014
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  4. Shork

    Shork Rebel Official

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    Go! Everyone spamm friendly on his post! Go Go Ewok army.

    But, well I would be fine with seeing Ewoks, I like them. But as I said often before, I want to see new stuff but a like a little group of Ewoks walking on the TMZ Set would be a cool easter egg. Also they can use speederbikes without crashing, so I guess they could be a usefull ally. Maybe we will see some Ewok Soldiers, but that will never happen I think and hope.
    For me they are not like Jar Jar haha I just noticed: Jar Jar = J. J. = Jar Jar Abrams. 0.o GL has foreseen his Job as a Director in E7. GJ Lucas.
     
    #4 Shork, Nov 14, 2014
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  5. DarthPilkington

    DarthPilkington Rebel Official

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    imagine if this movie was catastrophically bad: it would free up so much of my time!! i wouldn't be a fan anymore so i could go on to do other things, like maybe rebooting Star Wars! here are a few concepts i'm basing my work on:

    light_sabers-founding-fathers.jpg
    mspig.jpg
    tupacca.jpg
     
    #5 DarthPilkington, Nov 14, 2014
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  6. emphram

    emphram Rebel General

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    Ugh I was hoping this thread would be more serious. Terrible plot twists? I could imagine a few:
    • Luke and Leia decide to marry, and this causes them to fall to the Dark Side (creepy, weird, gross, suddenly Star Wars is a bad horror movie).
    • Expanding on that idea, they even have kids who are all force monsters of some sort.
    • Han's the bad guy (unless properly done, but I hope not).
    • Everything was the dream of a young George Lucas waking up from the coma after his car accident.
    • Padme cheated on Anakin and they are not his kids.
    • The Jedi were actually evil, and the Sith good, but they were using the force to blind everyone, or some stupid idea like that.
    • The Empire once again is defeated by teddy bears.
    I encourage you all to post other horrendous idas... The best way to enjoy a movie, ANY movie (some exceptions here and there) is to have the absolute lowest expectations you could possibly have, lets do that!
     
    #6 emphram, Nov 15, 2014
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  7. MarsPhoenix

    MarsPhoenix Sith Psychiatrist

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    I'll go with serious stuff:

    Prune Face is the grave robber.

    Oscar Isaac plays Lone Starr
    Andy Serkis plays Barf

    Padme is alive (it was a ruse) and she is now evil.

    Old Jar Jar is played by MVS

    R2D2 has remain loyal to Palpatine all these years

    All new characters (Boyega, Ridley, Isaac, Serkis, Gleeson) are wookies. And we follow their adventure.
     
    #7 MarsPhoenix, Nov 15, 2014
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  8. catfish

    catfish Rebel General

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    Wookie Rebellion he goes NUTS....He kills all of Han's family and goes into hiding....Luke learns of a group of Sith that were carbon froze 30 years before being to strong and crazy...he thaws them and they have an epic space battle...(Kahn esq) that would set everyone off
     
    #8 catfish, Nov 15, 2014
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  9. TheFettMan

    TheFettMan Rebel Official

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    I already posted a few off the wall, bizarro plots & story-lines on the forum.
    Like Ice-Cream-Man being the Grave Robber or maybe the main villian! :eek:

    Or maybe Luke's "exile" was a excuse to go off and develop his own clone army of Jedi Knights.
    That would be bananas! 5000 cheesed off Luke Skywalkers running amok.
    Han would put his own DB44 is his mouth & "shoot first". ;)
    All of Chewie's fur would fall out due to stress.
    I could go on....
     
    #9 TheFettMan, Nov 15, 2014
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  10. Shork

    Shork Rebel Official

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    J.J Abrams plays the new main character.(Joke) But well he could have a cameo, you need to remember that he had roles in movies as an ACTOR! It would be an awesome easter egg, but no movie destroyer. Only if there is a Peter Jackson eating a carrot on the big screen. HAHA!!! #HOBBIT
     
    #10 Shork, Nov 15, 2014
  11. TK-1204

    TK-1204 Imperial Special Forces
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    [​IMG]
     
    #11 TK-1204, Nov 15, 2014
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  12. Willybobo

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    What say we use the Humor label in the thread title next time? Cheers!

    Actually, from your tone, I suppose it's more 'ridiculous speculation' than 'humor.'

    It kinda doesn't know what it is, which, in my experience, never ends well.

    You're liable to alienate people seeking higher minded speculation. At the same time, anyone looking for a laugh were this labeled humor, would equally be disappointed.

    This is a bizarre thread.
     
    #12 Willybobo, Nov 15, 2014
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  13. TheFettMan

    TheFettMan Rebel Official

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    Another wild bit would be if the rebels only used blasters that went pew pew pew... ;) .
    With NO CGI or SFX.
     
    #13 TheFettMan, Nov 15, 2014
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  14. Deadeye

    Deadeye Clone Commander

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    I'm glad someone else had the guts to go down the "Luke and Leia get married" trail. And the Padme cheating angle would be crazy as well. Imagine if she cheated with Obi Wan. That's Jerry Springer-esgue.
     
    #14 Deadeye, Nov 15, 2014
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  15. Willybobo

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    I'll just leave this here.

    image.jpg
     
    #15 Willybobo, Nov 15, 2014
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  16. Deadeye

    Deadeye Clone Commander

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    Kind of like in Monte Python's The Holy Grail, when King Arthur rode around they banged coconuts to make the horse hoof sounds. Excellent idea!
     
    #16 Deadeye, Nov 15, 2014
  17. MarsPhoenix

    MarsPhoenix Sith Psychiatrist

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    Kamino is back. Plagueis is cloning an army of CGI rendition of Jake Lloyd. Yippee!
     
    #17 MarsPhoenix, Nov 15, 2014
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  18. Guybrush Threepwood

    Guybrush Threepwood Rebel Commander

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    This reads like a thread from the TFN forum. My eyes are bleeding.
     
    #18 Guybrush Threepwood, Nov 15, 2014
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  19. Worshipfulness

    Worshipfulness Rebel General

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    I seriously WISH Padme had chosen Obi Wan in the end.
     
    #19 Worshipfulness, Nov 15, 2014
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  20. MosEisley

    MosEisley Rebelscum

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    What about some time travel to ruin the plot? Or just add an bollywood dancing scene with some stormtroopers :eek:
     
    #20 MosEisley, Nov 15, 2014
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