Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

Enjoy the ride, folks. It's going to be a long one.

You VORACIOUSLY BITE into your VEGAN PIE with the INTENT of FULFILLING your INSATIABLE CRAVING for FOOD.

This will APPARENTLY give an AWESOME BUFF or something, which will magically MODIFY your PERSUASION SAVES with members of the CORUSCANTI VEGAN FACTION.



Wait a MOMENT, there's SOMETHING ODD about this PIE. It seems as if...

There's some ACTUAL MEAT inside? Pretty damn GOOD MEAT, too!

PAL POUTINE must have GIVEN you the WRONG ONE back in the RESTAURANT. CUSTOMER SERVICE SUCKS.



That's actually a PRETTY GOOD QUESTION, VAN. For a CELIBATE GUY, STAN is being SURPRISINGLY COMFORTABLE with just about everyone. Maybe it's because there can no longer be any ACTUAL SEXUAL TENSION anymore, or MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, it's because the LAZY AUTHOR is CONSTANTLY REUSING POSES.



STAN, you're NOT making this EASY.



VAN: "Preferably nowhere, Master Tard."
STAN: "That's my boy, all tough and grown up! Now let's go and buy you the night of your life!"
VAN: "Do you have kids? Like, actual kids of your own?"
STAN: "No."

VAN: "It's a good thing you're celibate, then."

VAN-ILLA UNDERSTANDS YOU. You're SO PROUD.



STAN: "Greetings, fair maiden of the alley."
DISTINGUISHED BUSINESSWOMAN: "What'll it be, hon?"
STAN: "Oh no. You mistake my words, dear. I am not the one in need of your transcendent services. My fellow Padawan is."
VAN: "I, uh... I'm not really his Padawan."

DISTINGUISHED BUSINESSWOMAN: "Does the Padawan have the money?"
STAN: "He will not be paying a single credit tonight."
DISTINGUISHED BUSINESSWOMAN: "Please don't mind trick me again, sir. I've got a brother to feed."
VAN: "Jeez, who'd do messed up sh*t like that?"

STAN: "Frustrated Padawans like yourself. I told you snippy-snip is not such a bad solution, in hindsight."
VAN: "For the last time, I am *not* getting castrated!"
STAN: "I know a guy who'll do it for free."

VAN: "STOP."



You PAY the DISTINGUISHED BUSINESSWOMAN her DUE PAYMENT in the form of PAYING her the MEAGER PAYMENT of ONE CREDIT.

You lose ONE CREDIT. This choice is going to MATTER so HARD down the line, just you wait! The WEIGHT of this DECISION will come back to HAUNT YOU for sure!



You're the GALAXY'S NUMBER ONE DAD.



Yep. A GOOD DEED was done here, as VAN prepares to do a GOOD DEED of his own.



Since you're not a PEEPING STAN, you TURN AROUND and NOTICE a PECULIAR LIQUID which one might EASILY MISTAKE for SOFT, WARM, JUICY CURRY. You're thinking that you could probably use the BUCKETS to force a THROW UP and REOBTAIN the PLOT-RELEVANT MEDALLION lodged somewhere INSIDE YOU.



You REALIZE what the CONTENT of the BUCKETS really is.

This disturbs you. Immensely.



NO WAY IN HELL ARE YOU DRINKING THAT MOUNTAIN DEW!



You are, without a doubt, the WORST FATHER FIGURE in the GALAXY.

But, hey! At least you SOLVED ONE SIDE QUEST. Now it's TIME for the OTHER.



It looks like OCEAN'S CONTACT knows where DIMWITT, her EQUALLY VEGAN BOYTOY, is.

It also looks like he's in TROUBLE. How TYPICAL.



This is a GOOD THING, right?

I guess it also DEPENDS on one's POINT of VIEW.



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WAIT, WHAT!?

You had a FEELING PAL POUTINE was MESSING with you in some way, but not to this ELABORATE EXTENT.



Oh, GREAT!

Just END the PLOT when it's finally GETTING SOMEWHERE. How typical.



It's the MURDERBOT TRIPLETS!



VAN NOPES the HELL out of this SCENARIO while it's still a POSSIBILITY.



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You ain't GOT TIME for VILLAINOUS MONOLOGUES! Also, thumbs up for the MERITORIOUS FEW that actually UNDERSTOOD this REFERENCE.



You are now in a DRAMATIC SPACE PANEL FEATURING: a RANDOM OUTLAW VESSEL adrift in SPACE.



You are now MISSY, the FORMER ASCENDANCY SCIENTIST and WANNABE OUTLAW. Having booked PASSAGE to CORELLIA on board a ship of BRIGANDS and MERCENARY SCUM, you are hoping to REACH a certain INEPT MANCHILD on time: the CRUSTACEAN LORD of the SITH, DARTH SABER. You have also recently started to COPE with the FACT that your BELOVED FATHER has passed away, but without risking to CONTACT GRAND ADMIRAL SNOTE, you can't be certain that your SISTER is actually telling the truth.

What do you do?