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Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

Discussion in 'Star Wars: Paint Adventures' started by Alamact, Feb 21, 2016.

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  1. FN-3263827

    FN-3263827 First Order CPS
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    [too traumatized by Bond reference to res--IS THAT GORE ON THE FLOOR???]

    please don't hurt STAN. he's still my favorite! : o (
     
    #2661 FN-3263827, May 2, 2017
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  2. Darth Bob

    Darth Bob Scoundrel

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    Mention OPERATION GRAND SLAM. Gets 'em EVERY TIME.
     
    #2662 Darth Bob, May 2, 2017
    Last edited: May 4, 2017
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  3. Dork Lord of the Bith

    Dork Lord of the Bith PhD in Sith Ethics

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    I do not believe PAL POUTINE has become acquainted with your GLORIOUS MANDALORIAN NAME just yet. For that reason, you will introduce yourself with a (completely random) GLORIOUS SPY NAME instead.

    To PAL POUTINE, henceforth, you shall be known as...BLAND. JUN BLAND.
     
    #2663 Dork Lord of the Bith, May 2, 2017
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  4. Pomojema

    Pomojema Ayatollah Of Rock-&-Rolla
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    Ask Pal Poutine if his intent is to seduce you. And if the answer is yes, God help you. (But you'll have to go along with it. Principle of the thing.)
     
    #2664 Pomojema, May 3, 2017
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  5. CnlSandersdeKFC

    CnlSandersdeKFC Rebel Official

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    Jesus... it's been so long since I've seen Stan that I'd completely forgotten what terrible character trait I was trying to force on him. *Goes back 30 pages* Oh right, he's a glutton, a binge eater. Well... I guess you can, eat... your way... out?

    Wait a minuet... how do we know this is blood on the floor? Isn't Poutine a waiter at a hipsterish restaurant? Damnit! You never thought you'd actually want one of those obnoxious, fratboy tools from the Guardian side of the order! Their chronic alcoholism would be ideal in this situation!
     
    #2665 CnlSandersdeKFC, May 3, 2017
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  6. Addi Ras

    Addi Ras MASTER TEA MAKER
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    Step one convince the old guy dressed like a waiter to tell you his top secret plan then ask the waiter to bring you something to drink when he return with the glass one use the force to break the glass & incapacitate the guy then use the shards of glass to damage the restraining device therefore allowing your escape.
     
    #2666 Addi Ras, May 3, 2017
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  7. Pomojema

    Pomojema Ayatollah Of Rock-&-Rolla
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    Tipper or Al? They might be in there somewhere, ya know. No telling who that mush belongs to.
     
    #2667 Pomojema, May 4, 2017
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  8. Alamact

    Alamact Rear Admiral
    1030th Commander *** (Mod)

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    Thank you to all who prepared today's surprise (you know who you are). I'd be a Stan if I didn't say that I am still enjoying the fact that you've bestowed with a title that I've come to associate with my persona here on the Cantina, and I'll continue to do my best to keep that goodwill and expand upon what we've built here.

    Cheers and May the Fourth be with you!
    [​IMG]

    Your FIRST INSTINCT is to PROTECT your CELIBACY.

    [​IMG]

    LUCKILY for you, you're just TOO UGLY for it.

    [​IMG]

    STAN: "What's up with these red lights, anyway?"
    PAL POUTINE: "I am surprised you do not recognize them, Master Jedi. They're Sith artifacts."
    STAN: "Let me guess, they're here to dampen my connection with the Force."

    PAL POUTINE: "I assure you, we are quite safe from your escape attempts here. I also like to be a dick"
    STAN: "You know, I am familiar with this surgeon on Level 1313 who might be able to help with that."
    PAL POUTINE: "Silence! This is your first warning."
    STAN: "And how many warnings do I get?"

    STAN: "No, wait! I just took a peek at my inventory screen. You took away all my food! What the hell is wrong with you!?"
    PAL POUTINE: "...You're not worried about your lightsaber?"

    [​IMG]

    That's... not actually HELPFUL here, STAN.

    [​IMG]

    You SURVIVED the ABORTION CLINIC PIZZERIA. You've SEEN WORSE.

    [​IMG]

    Or yeah, THAT.

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    Oh no! Not the HK REJECTS!

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    STAN: "What in Mandalore's Honoure is going on here?"
    HK-50: "Explanation: You have been captured for your crimes against the people of Coruscant."
    STAN: "What crimes? The crimes of my refined taste?"
    HK-50: "Your taste will be the least of your concerns in a couple of moments from now, meatbag."

    PAL POUTINE: "You see, Master Jedi, we're going to find out everything you know using this lie detector here. Every false answer will result in you being showered with jolts of electricity."

    STAN: "What if I don't play along?"
    PAL POUTINE: "We would still have... other uses for you. You will be my Master Bait."
    STAN: "Seriously? You couldn't think of a better name for a hostage situation?"

    Well, you ARE a JEDI MASTER, STAN!

    [​IMG]

    No, NOT the RED BUTTON! ANYTHING but the RED BUTTON!

    [​IMG]

    Such FETISHISTIC EVIL that even the LIGHTNING is red!

    [​IMG]

    Screw this! You'd rather be SOMEWHERE ELSE right now.

    Yep. You're not actually even here! All your problems can magically disappear if you keep lying to yourself that they don't even exist!

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    Looks like you're just going to have to GO THROUGH with this INTERROGATION. It's not like you can actually FAIL THESE.

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    You're hopeless.

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    <TEXT NOT NEEDED>

    [​IMG]

    You're merely at the start of the INTERROGATION, and you've already failed to answer correctly four times in a row. Let's face it, the ODDS aren't looking BRIGHT for you at the moment.

    What do you do?
     
    #2668 Alamact, May 4, 2017
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  9. Spacebeast48

    Spacebeast48 Rebel Official

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    [​IMG]

    KEEP LYING! That LIE DETECTOR MACHINE has never HANDLED a LIAR such as yourself! Your MAXIMUM LIAR POWER will likely OVERRIDE IT!
     
    #2669 Spacebeast48, May 4, 2017
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  10. FN-3263827

    FN-3263827 First Order CPS
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    aside: given the artistry of it, i was thinking Vidal.

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    honestly, STAN, you're more CLEVER than this!
    don't just outright LIE, EQUIVOCATE; a double tongue is the Jedi's best ally!
     
    #2670 FN-3263827, May 4, 2017
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  11. Dork Lord of the Bith

    Dork Lord of the Bith PhD in Sith Ethics

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    It's quite simple, really.

    LIE = - TRUTH
    LIExLIE = (- TRUTH)x(- TRUTH) = (- TRUTH)^2 = TRUTH^2

    So you lie about having lied about lying when you actually have lied indeed and you're basically set.
     
    #2671 Dork Lord of the Bith, May 4, 2017
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  12. Capt. Andrew Luck

    Capt. Andrew Luck Guardian of the Neckbeard

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    +1

    It's JUST a MACHINE! And MACHINES can be BROKEN!

    [​IMG]

    (this entire update is comedic gold btw)
     
    #2672 Capt. Andrew Luck, May 4, 2017
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  13. CnlSandersdeKFC

    CnlSandersdeKFC Rebel Official

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    This update... wow that was great. I needed that laugh.

    Okay, let's think this through rationally.... we're totally boned. I say we just keep lying. Sooner or later we'll either pass out, or Poutine will grow bored with this. I mean fetishism is only fun if it's also exciting. As for the HK's... well I guess we could use good ol' logic ninjistu on em. They all doubted you, but you knew that that semester majoring in philosophy would eventually pay off!
     
    #2673 CnlSandersdeKFC, May 4, 2017
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  14. Addi Ras

    Addi Ras MASTER TEA MAKER
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    Right then you have proven that you are a very good at lying so just keep going in fact lie like your life depends upon it (which it might well do). After all ether.
    A. The creepy old dude gets board of this & gives up.
    B you end up shorting out the device with all your fantastic lies.
    C your body is overloaded with the lightning & you become one with the force.
    So whatever happens you will beat this machine.
     
    #2674 Addi Ras, May 4, 2017
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  15. SaberingTime

    SaberingTime Rebel Official

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    UNLIMITED SHOWER!!!
    Seconded! Lets PARADOX the FUX out of this mess!
     
    #2675 SaberingTime, May 4, 2017
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  16. edgar allan poe dameron

    edgar allan poe dameron Rebel General

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    endlessly chant "I'm one with the force and the force is with me" and pretend that we know what we're doing but all we're doing is hoping some miracle happens just by chanting
    --- Double Post Merged, May 4, 2017, Original Post Date: May 4, 2017 ---
    Also mention the fact that red lightning is more of The Flash's thing
     
    #2676 edgar allan poe dameron, May 4, 2017
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  17. The One Armed Wampa

    The One Armed Wampa Rebel General

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    So IN THEORY if you try to TORTURE the TORTURE TABLE, there's a DEFINATE probable MOST LIKELY THE CASE chance that it'll SHOCK EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU.

    So just start spouting some of the most PAINFUL and HARD TO LISTEN to DRIBBLE AS YOU COULD:

    THE FORCE IS MADE UP OF MICROSCOPIC ORGANISMS CALLED MIDICHLORIANS
     
    #2677 The One Armed Wampa, May 4, 2017
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  18. MadsLad

    MadsLad Rebel Official

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    It would be pretty darn funny if Alamact was secretly telegraphing us that the main villain of Act 2 is a James Bond villain
    but we just aren't able to get the clues yet. xD
     
    #2678 MadsLad, May 5, 2017
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  19. Capt. Andrew Luck

    Capt. Andrew Luck Guardian of the Neckbeard

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    The villain is TIMOTHY DALTON?! :eek:

    [​IMG]

    Not a James Bond villain but a James Bond villain!
     
    #2679 Capt. Andrew Luck, May 5, 2017
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  20. Pomojema

    Pomojema Ayatollah Of Rock-&-Rolla
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    There's only one thing to do in this situation. You have to follow the path of the old wise military strategist, Che Guerrilla, and continue to tell your enemy two things:

    LIES! DECEPTIONS!
     
    #2680 Pomojema, May 5, 2017
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