Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

You have no idea how much I wanted to animate Darth Saber fantasizing about riding a Krayt Dragon armed with a proper lightsaber with rainbow rays everywhere and his favorite Chiss companion swooning in the background (that is, before subsequently being poked out of his delusion by a weirded out Missy).

Suffice it to say, I tried and I failed. It just didn't came out right.

Since RED wasn't entirely FOND of your suggestion to EAT RAW FISH, maybe she'll give SOMETHING ELSE a TRY.

SABER: "You know, I could give you some kath sausage to snack on."



MISSY: "EXCUSE ME!?"
SABER: "Never mind. I'll be silent now."

You can't just PROPOSE something so BASE, FILTHY and BARBARIC to a LADY of such stature! Have you ever seen ANYONE in KAAS CITY eat KATH SAUSAGES these days? EVERYONE who's ANYONE knows that MANKA CATS are now the DELICACY FOOD of the DECADE! Seriously, Saber! This is BASIC STUFF.

You LOSE 60 REP with MISSY for NOT KNOWING such COMMON GENTLEMANLY FACTS! You know, in case ANYONE FORGOT about this COMPLETELY FORGETTABLE MECHANIC from the START of your ADVENTURE of MISFORTUNE.



FUELED by your NEWFOUND VOLATILE EMOTION of EMBARRASSMENT and DISAPPOINTMENT you try to PUSH the OBELISK down on top the MONSTROUS KATH HOUNDS.

Since you aren't DARK SIDED, and therefore INCAPABLE of CHANNELING your emotions AGGRESSIVELY, it only appears like you're giving the OBELISK a SENSUAL MASSAGE.

MISSY is both INTRIGUED and DISTURBED by your CIVILIZED GRACE.



In an ATTEMPT to SQUASH the WILD RUFFIANS in front of you, you LIFT a NEARBY BOULDER.



You're ABOUT to BRING DOWN the THUNDER any moment now.

ANY MOMENT NOW.

But then again, why should you? These POOR CREATURES are PROBABLY HUNGRY. They DESERVE a SNACK. Yes, that's right! All of this is just plain wrong and clearly unethical! STEVE taught you DIFFERENTLY.



On a list of things that are UTTERLY ANTICLIMACTIC, this one is somewhere at the TOP.



You GAIN RED POINTS for UNETHICALLY leaving the KINRATH PUP to be EATEN SEMI-ALIVE by the VICIOUS KATH HOUNDS in an UNETHICAL WAY.



You INVITE RED to JOIN YOU in EXPLORING the KINRATH CAVE because of... REASONS.

MISSY: "Why...?"
SABER: "Adventure! Excitement! A Sith craves these things!"

You're still not telling her the REAL REASON why.



Well, what do you KNOW? Turns out a DARK, OMINOUS CAVE is ACTUALLY FREAKISHLY DARK and OMINOUS! Who'd have THOUGHT!?



SABER: "I still think this was a bad idea."
MISSY: "Might I remind you that venturing into this unsettling cave was YOUR idea?"
SABER: "I don't dispute that. I'm just saying you shouldn't have listened to me."
MISSY: "You're impossible."

SABER: "At least we're making progress..."
MISSY: "A blasted spelunking session will get us nowhere! We're supposed to go to the Jedi Enclave."
SABER: "Why should we, exactly? Is Snote's victory that much of a bad thing?"
MISSY: "I don't trust that guy, and you shouldn't too."

SABER: "Well, this cave has something for me. The Force drew me to this place."
MISSY: "You mean the Plot?"
SABER: "Same bloody thing."

You are now located inside a CAVERNOUS PASS that DIVERGES into TWO SEPARATE PATHS and you can't see SH*T.

What do you do?

 

SABER: "So, you know what would make perfect sense right now?"
MISSY: "This should be good."
SABER: "We could split up to cover more ground."
MISSY: "That's precious. It really is. You're the one scared of this cave, and now you want to have a go at it alone?"

SABER: "Yeah. Simple fright isn't going to stop the Unyielding Saber!"
MISSY: "But a clone army of retards will?"
SABER: "Technically that encounter never came to fruition."
MISSY: "Gee, I wonder why. Oh, wait, I remember! It's because I saved your ass."

SABER: "So, wanna split up to cover more ground?"
MISSY: "Oh, fine. It's not the worst idea you've had."



MISSY: "If you die, I won't bury you!"
SABER: "If I die, I won't give a damn!"

With the USE of the FORCE, you sense that going UPWARDS is the BETTER ROUTE and thus you pick it as your PREFERRED PATH, whilst MISSY takes the OTHER ONE. With the FORCE as your ALLY, and a POWERFUL ALLY it is, ANYTHING is POSSIBLE... unless you're DARTH FREAKING SABER.

So, you're PRETTY MUCH taking a WILD STAB in the DARK at the moment. Let's HOPE there aren't any TERENTATEKS lurking around.

There totally are TERENTATEKS lurking around, aren't there?



Well, you've PRETTY MUCH just hit the FORCE-SENSITIVE JACKPOT! You've STUMBLED your way into the CAVE'S CRYSTAL CHAMBER. There are SO MANY LIGHTSABER CRYSTALS to CHOOSE FROM and COLORS of ALL VARIETY... well, THOSE that AREN'T DUMB like PINK or BRONZE. That's right! ONLY VANILLA COLORS here, BABY!

This is in NO WAY a DELIBERATE TRAP laid out for budding FORCE-SENSITIVES sprung by an INTELLIGENT CREATURE that HUNTS for SUCH. Nope, NOTHING SINISTER going on ABOUT in this CHAMBER and it's DOCILE KINRATH INHABITANTS!

What do you do?