Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

This update is a bit different in tone, but it was a long time coming. I'm also not going to be placing the speech bubble dialogues as text below the panel anymore, as it feels somewhat redundant. Just read the dialogues on the panel, and then proceed to the text below, and you'll do fine.

You INSPECT the CONSOLE and now FIND YOURSELF in CONTROL of all the EXPERIMENT VATS found in this FACILITY. This makes you face one of those "MEANINGFUL DECISIONS, CHOICE THAT MATTER" kind of deals.

By going over the choices, you AUTOMATICALLY PICK the CLEARLY SMARTEST ONE, even though it PROBABLY won't do much in the LONG RUN. It's MIND CONTROL TIME, BABY!



CRAP, you MISCLICKED!

Congratulations, you just gave all 97 INNOCENT VICTIMS incurable SPACE AIDS! Let's hope they don't actually GET LOOSE and STAY within the QUARANTINE of the FACILITY.



However, something else CATCHES your ROBOTIC EYE. A SCHEMATIC of SOMETHING ODDLY FAMILIAR, yet UNKNOWN in NATURE, a MASSIVE WEAPON being BUILT above the ICY PLANET of HOTH. Your mind SHIFTS to the time of your CAPTIVITY at the hands of STEVE, where he OFFERED you a PLACE in his NEW REGIME.



And just like that, the pieces FALL into PLACE.

HOTH.

That's where TROOPER is now HEADED!



You GRAB your COMMUNICATIONS DEVICE in the HOPES of WARNING TROOPER on TIME!



TROOPER disgruntledly recalls the SMALL BAND of WARSHIPS he's GATHERED while you've been too busy PLAYING HERO on TARIS.



WELL, SH*T.



You AWAKEN from your GREATEST of NIGHTMARES, also known as a FLASHBACK SEQUENCE, to the CHILLING REALIZATION that it was probably due to the SPOILED FOOD you ate LAST NIGHT.

Talk about ANTI-CLIMATIC!



Chapter 10: Danger Zone



You are now DOOP SKYCHAFER, and you are located in the MAIN ROOM of your VERY OWN SHIP, THE CENTENNIAL TURKEY! You've got a WHOLE GALAXY in front of you, and MANY OPPORTUNITIES ahead! Like, for example, PICKING UP that DAMNED CACHE on DANTOOINE, or INVESTIGATING the YELLOW KING of ONDERON.

Choosing between MONEY and POINTLESS INVESTIGATION seems like an EASY CHOICE for you, doesn't it? But what do you know? Your mind tends to SURPRISE you at times.

Your LOYAL CREWMATES await your FIRST COMMAND!

What do you do?

 

This suggestion will be applied as soon as we leave the ship.

You apply your FAVORITE CHILDHOOD POSTER, that of the "TOYDARIAN RANCORS", and IMMEDIATELY GET DOWN TO BUSINESS in the CHATBOX.

DOOP: "Anyone care to tell me the reason why I'm actually keeping this Sith filth on MY ship?"
RATCHET: "Because you need me as your pilot?"
DOOP: "What's that have to do with Mr. Creep over here? Seriously, this guy looks like a child molester!"
RATCHET: "We're business partners. I fly the ship, Saber deals with negotiations."
DOOP: "So, what? He's some kind of smuggler Sith Lord? Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds? I should just space you both."
RATCHET: "And who's going to fly this ship? You?"
DOOP: "You bet I could, I'm not such a bad pilot myself! Come on, in the trash compactor you go!"

SABER: "You still owe an obligation to General Fux if you want your blood money on Dantooine."
DOOP: "Freaking obligations..."



SOMEONE approaches you from BEHIND and SABER has his CAPTAIN OBVIOUS MOMENT.



OH, SH*T! IT'S A 2V MODEL! Or, is it? Apparently, this is J3-V5, also known as JEEVES. He introduces himself to be what the 2V-series should have originally been. He's also the TOKEN DROID CHARACTER, so he's got that GOING for HIM, which is NICE.

RATCHET thinks he's a SPY and that you should SPACE HIM. SABER thinks his PROGRAMMING is TOO STUPID for ESPIONAGE and that he's AT LEAST not ANNOYING this time around.



What do you do?

 

Don't mind me, just reusing unused SWTOR cues here... But, can you really call it reuse when it was never even used in the first place? I've got an entire library of this stuff extracted from the game files themselves. Hopefully we'll make quite the mixtape by the time we're done!

I would have turned this into a choice if I wasn't already halfway done with the update, as I was under the impression that everyone was in accord with going to Dantooine first. To compensate for this shortcoming, the first big planet of Act 2 is going to be Onderon. I promise!

Unbeknowst to JEEVES, you PLACE the DROID on your "TO SELL" list.

DOOP: "So, what kind of metal are you made of?"
JEEVES: "Durasteel, of course."
DOOP: "Good, good. That's an expensive metal. And what about your circuitry?"
JEEVES: "The highest grade. I was built by the Gree on a special request."
DOOP: "This just keeps getting better and better. Who was your previous owner?"
JEEVES: "Miss Caroline Hasard."
DOOP: "Yeah, I don't know who that is. Next."
JEEVES: "Master Tyren of the Jedi Order."
DOOP: "bantha poodoo. Next."
JEEVES: "The Butcher's younger brother, The Baker. He was not nice, and he was always kind of... absent, if I might add."
DOOP: "That's nice. You know what, that's all I need for now. You may go."
JEEVES: "Oh, it fills me with ABSOLUTE JOY that someone would take such a keen interest in my characteristics!"
DOOP: "Uh-uh."

RATCHET notices your "To Sell" list and sees that you also plan to sell this PIECE of JUNK that you're currently flying in.



She takes OFFENSE.

RATCHET: "Junk? This ship is a masterpiece!"
DOOP: "Please, even my uncle's wife looks less beat up than this scrap of metal."



JEEVES makes his DEPARTURE, completely OBLIVIOUS to the fate that eventually AWAITS him.

Meanwhile, you've got a SKYPE CALL coming in from NAR SHADDAA!



CANCEROUS: "Look, there's people on the other side!"
THE FLUKE: "What?"
CANCEROUS: "Our transmission got through, dumbass."

CANCEROUS: "Doop! You left without saying goodbye!"
DOOP: "I was in a hurry."
CANCEROUS: "It's alright, it's alright. I'm here to tell you that we've won the siege and forced Grabba to go on the run!"
DOOP: "So, Nar Shaddaa is now yours?"
CANCEROUS: "What? No. We'll be long gone by the time the Hutt Cartel comes to install a replacement."
DOOP: "Then what was the point of all that?"
CANCEROUS: "Oh, you know, what's a bit of fun and honoure™, right?"
DOOP: (Sarcasm) "Right. Lots of honoure in slug-hunting."

DOOP: "You promised a reward."



CANCEROUS: "Not to worry, you'll get your reward."
DOOP: "When?"
CANCEROUS: "Now."

CANCEROUS: "Clankus! Bring the Ruby over here!"
DOOP: "Sounds luxurious."

THE FLUKE: "Anyway, since this is my sister's ship, I assume she is also with you? We never found her in the palace."
DOOP: "Yes, yes, she's here."
SABER: "But..."
DOOP: "Shut it."
THE FLUKE: "Well, I've got no choice but to believe you and your clearly clumsy attempt at withdrawing information because I'm a naive idiot."

THE FLUKE: "If you ever find yourself going up against Darth Antaganis, you can always count on my aid."

Totally not SEQUEL BAIT.



THE FLUKE has LEFT the CONVERSATION.



TWI'LEK WOMAN has entered the CONVERSATION.

CANCEROUS: "Allow me to introduce you to RUBY, the princess of RYLOTH! Isn't she a DELIGHT?"



Ah, LOVE at FIRST SIGHT.



DOOP sees right through this CHARADE!



FREAKING TWI'LEKS! It seems you can never be RID of THEM no matter where you go.



The SPACEBALLS tell you that you're now approaching DANTOOINE, you know, the PLANET where you were ORIGINALLY planning to go because LEVELING in this GAME is COMPLETELY LINEAR.



You just ENTERED into a MASSIVE SPACE BATTLE fought above the orbit of DANTOOINE between the REPUBLIC and the ASCENDANCY. If only JUN BLAND managed to secure the CHISS ALLIANCE for the REPUBLIC, this would never have happened. Now, the REPUBLIC'S hand has been forced for they cannot rely on the local RESISTANCE FORCES below, which resulted in this FARCICAL BATTLE of PURE SLAUGHTER.

But you don't know that yet, you're just DOOP! And you're going to be SWARMED by FIGHTERS from BOTH SIDES very soon!



DARTH SABER knows what's up. Do you?

What do you do?