Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

Just want to preface this by saying: political jokes are fine. Political discussion is not. We're not here for that, and this is not the place for it. I deliberately wanted to avoid depicting the current political clime in the US out of the simple fact that not only can it turn ugly real fast, but because I'm not the sort of person who wants to preach my political opinions to anyone unless deliberately asked. Whatever parallels you might draw, whatever allegories you think there are, they are a pure coincidence. If you're expecting me to unveil the Chancellor as an orange fruit with a makeshift wig, you'll be left sorely disappointed.

If anything, our Chancellor here is very loosely (very loosely) based, and can be more fairly compared to another American president (and I'm sure the political/historic buffs among you will easily guess which).

I *promise* you everything is going to connect beautifully by the end of Act V. I don't have a clue as to how we'll get there, but I have a vague idea about how all this ends given our current trajectory.

There already was a Wrex cameo.

 

It was actually a reference to a quote from Knights of the Old Republic II where the game prompted you to pick a gender for Revan, the protagonist of the previous game, as you could have potentially played him as either a man or a woman (even if he was canonically designated as male).

On another note, update's coming tomorrow night. The main Senate chamber is shaping up fantastically and all that's left for me is to do a bunch of Senator models. Six more, to be exact. Chapter 14 is shaping up to be incredibly taxing with its demand for extras, but I'm liking the way the political plot is progressing thus far, and I'm glad we're tackling it head-on. Most of this stuff was relegated to the background for the majority of the first Act.

 

You WALK UP towards the SHIFTY LOOKING SENATOR in an UNSUBTLE MANNER, the KIND he DISLIKES. He introduces himself as SENATOR VYL of CHANDRILLA, although you QUICKLY RESORT to CALLING HIM SENATOR SNEK.

He doesn't seem to APPRECIATE that. He doesn't seem to APPRECIATE that at all.



VYL: "Get out of my face, dolt. This is the heart of Republic politics! Everyone's always plotting something."
JUN: "Well, duh... but did you know that your name literally sounds vile. What's a concerned patriot to think?"
VYL: "He should think about minding his own business. Unless you can get that spineless peacemonger Antilles out of the Senate, we've got no business to discuss."
JUN: "That's the Senator of Alderaan, right?"

VYL: "More specifically, the man behind you. Alderaan used to be great ally of Chandrilla in the Senate, now it is the greatest shame of the Core Worlds."
JUN: "I don't know, Alderaan can be beautiful sometimes."
VYL: "Sometimes I dream of its destruction. The entire planet just blown up to pieces. Now that's the beautiful Alderaan I'd want!"



SENATOR VYL has INCURRED the WRATH of SENATOR ANTILLES. You realize this is steadily deteriorating into a PISSING CONTEST between FANCY PEOPLE and therefore PROMPTLY EXPLAIN to SENATOR SNEK that you'll be TAKING YOUR LEAVE.



You HATE SIDE QUESTS.

ESPECIALLY the BRANCHING ONES. TOO MUCH EFFORT and THINKING INVOLVED for CHOICES MATTERING™.



BEFORE PROCEEDING down the NARROWLY RAILROADED WAYS of the PLOT, you DECIDE to PICK UP the SECRET COMPANION. That's right! This BUN LADY with her LADY BUN should BECOME your COMPANION all of a sudden because REASONS. It's NOT LIKE she has ANY IMPORTANT FUNCTIONS to DO within the MUSHROOM BUILDING of PATRIOTISM.

HER HEALTH is RANK 5. By all ACCOUNTS, her STAMINA apparently makes her a TANKING COMPANION. She also INTRODUCES HERSELF as FREIA CURAVAO of BRENTAAL IV, because apparently everyone here has LORE-APPROPRIATE NAMES. Everyone but you, of course. It's the DESIGNATION of being an IMPORTANT POLITICAL PLAYER in the SENATE, and an IMPORTANT POLITICAL PLAYER you are not, JUN BLAND.

FREIA offers to TAKE YOU to her BOSS, but you HASTILY DECLINE because you still have ONE THING LEFT TO DO in this ROOM. THE CLIENT.

FREIA: "But..."



JUN: "Do not question us!"



You approach... THE CLIENT. THE CLIENT is ACCIDENTAL JONTRON.

You're WONDERING why he's MISSING his ROBOTIC AERIAL CRAP MACHINE.



THIS HAS SINCE BEEN RECTIFIED.



You DECIDE to GIVE your CLIENT the ICECREAM BOX as PLANNED. You're ACTUALLY NOT QUITE SURE WHICH BOX you're ABOUT to GIVE HIM, but since CHOICES MATTER™, the OUTCOME will LIKELY BE the SAME.



WAIT... WHY is he WALKING AWAY?

JUN.



JUN. That's NOT your CLIENT.

FREIA: "Agent Bland, there's really no time for..."
JUN: "What's that we talked about not questioning us? The client was supposed to be here somewhere."



With the GUARDS DISTRACTED, you ENTER the GRAND CONVOCATION CHAMBER because you have a FEELING that you MIGHT just FIND your CLIENT by SHAMELESSLY INTERRUPTING a SESSION.



LEONTYNE SARESH: "Instead of being unwittingly pitted against one another, we should unite against a true traitor to the principles of the Republic!"



LEONTYNE SARESH: "This man is no different than the Emperor of our enemy, an affront to freedom and a shadow who prefers to shroud his face from his subjects, colleagues and citizens, like a criminal drowning in the filth of his own crimes! He sends his lapdog, Valorum, to appease us, thinking the Senate as fools! Well, I say no more!"



SENATOR JACE: "Corellia has been suffering for months! Dantooine hasn't seen freedom in over a decade! That does not tell me about the incompetence of our Chancellor, but the inadequacies of our military. Now... we gathered here to discuss the renewed deployment of reinforcements, and I will not let this session be done before we come to an agreement!"

LEONTYNE SARESH: "Neither Yen-Zur nor Valorum will grant you your request, Senator. Valorum hasn't got the backbone, and our Chancellor hasn't got the heart for it."
SENATOR JACE: "Well, then the notion of the Chiss should be a moot point!"
LEONTYNE SARESH: "I beg to differ! Those blue turncloaks will never have a seat in this Senate. Not while I have mine!"



SO... UH... THIS IS AWKWARD.



Looks like you HAVE the FLOOR, "SENATOR" BLAND.

FREIA: "My boss is going to fire me."



You START to EXHIBIT SIGNS of ANXIETY.

This is fine. This is okay. This is an expected emotional reaction.



JUST A SMALL PANIC ATTACK.

NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.



JUN.

DO SOMETHING.



JUN.

JUN, you FAINTED TOO EARLY! JUN, you NEEDED to FAINT after a ROUSING SPEECH.



CONGRATULATIONS, JUN! You have SUCCESSFULLY ASSASSINATED the FOLLOWING: Your Political Career.



You now WAKE UP in some kind of WEIRD LOUNGE next to FREIA THE SENATE AIDE.



You're a bit DISAPPOINTED that you can't SELECTIVELY BLOCK the MEMORIES of what HAPPENED in the ARENA™ but MAYBE that's for the GREATER GOOD. You've ALWAYS BEEN ONE to LEARN FROM your MISTAKES, RIGHT? RIGHT!?

What do you do?