Featured GAME [Interactive Comic] Old Republic Paint Adventures

The more the merrier!

In the face of utter panic, you fake a GRAND MAL SEIZURE. BENADRYL COTTONCHISS is POSITIVELY DISTURBED and FIRES AWAY from his pistol!

You lose 1 HP. Maybe you should have thought this through.



You have a swift change of plans as you ACTIVATE your latent FARCE POWERS of PERSUASION. You offer to BRIBE BUMBLESHACK WAFFLECHISS with some CREDITS. He CALLS BOLLOCKS on you and YOUR DEAL, seeing as how you don't have any credits to BARGAIN WITH!

You UP your GAME, OFFERING UP your SHIP and a GORGEOUS TWI'LEK FOUND INSIDE for just a MEAGER SUM of 500 CREDITS. BENJAMIN CHISSWORTHATCH is STUNNED.



He takes you up on your OFFER and you now gain +500 CREDITS.



The Chiss leaves the detention ward as you REGAIN your FREEDOM at last! The FUNNY THING is... YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SHIP. Your TOYDARIAN UNCLE would be PROUD.

IT LOOKS LIKE THE CHISS...



...HAS JUST BEEN DOOPED.



You have reclaimed your PRECIOUS LIGHTSABER and the TIME has COME for you to LEAVE this SHIP. To the LEFT is a WALKWAY to the ESCAPE PODS, to the RIGHT is a CORRIDOR leading back to GRAND ADMIRAL SNOTE.

Where do you go?

 

Doop needs no FANCY COIN TOSS to make his decisions for him! Doop will not be ruled by SOME FICTIVE CONCEPT of LUCK! A JEDI knows there is NO SUCH THING. Apparently, it's also a SMUGGLER-ONLY ABILITY.

You march GALLANTLY on the RIGHT PATH, PREPARED to CONFRONT your NEMESIS, NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES. TOYDARIANS aren't INTERESTED in CONSEQUENCES! Only MONEY... which the Chiss owe you in CLEAR ABUNDANCE for all the TROUBLES you've ENDURED.



The good news is, YOU'VE ARRIVED in HUTT SPACE. The bad news is, you'll have to FIGHT YOUR WAY THROUGH. This is it. The moment you've been waiting for, your CONFRONTATION with GRAND ADMIRAL SNOTE and his HUMONGOUS SNOUT. This is...



You have GAINED A LEVEL! That means you have EARNED ENOUGH EXPERIENCE. You STILL have NO IDEA how to TURN OFF the DAMN TUTORIAL, but AT LEAST your POWERS have GROWN and you have SOMEONE to notify you of this.



You are now a LEVEL 2 JEDI KNIGHT. Choose ONE ATTRIBUTE point to SPEND on ANY of the SEVEN CATEGORIES.

 

You think OUT OF THE CONSOLE BOX, netting you two ADDITIONAL POINTS at the expense of some DIGNITY. You decide to spend one point on FARCE POWERS and two points on BOOZE.



You should now have a GREATER RESISTANCE to BOOZE. No CORELLIAN ALE will ever defeat your sobriety again! If only you actually payed attention in MASTER OBEER PINT'S CLASSES back in the JEDI ACADEMY.



With your NEWFOUND POWERS COMBINED, you BLOW AWAY the COMPETITION... LITERALLY! SNOTE pulls a gun on you. THE GAME IS ON.



You draw your LIGHTSABER to FACE YOUR OPPONENT, because you realize the CHISS ASCENDANCY actually makes some PISS-POOR GUNS. Grand Admiral Snote AGREES.



Well, DAMN! SNOTE MEANS BUSINESS. It seems he's been a SUPER SECRET SITH LORD ALL THIS TIME!

What do you do?

 

In the MIDST of a HEATED DUEL, you APPROACH the WANTED POSTER most ANTICLIMACTICALLY in SEARCH for INSPIRATION.



You GAZE upon the face of the WANTED MAN. What would this DASHING SCOUNDREL do in YOUR PLACE? The ANSWER to that question dawns upon you ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY.



You PROCEED to STRATEGICALLY ADVANCE IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. In LAYMAN'S TERMS...



...YOU ARE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE! YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH BLUEBALLS FOR ONE DAY!



In HINDSIGHT, maybe you should have INVESTED more POINTS into your SABER SKILLS instead of BOOZE and FARCE POWERS.

You are now near the ESCAPE PODS of this APPARENTLY MILITARISTIC CHISS VESSEL. It would appear your TRAVEL TICKET got MIXED UP. While THESE THINGS can HAPPEN to EVERYBODY, they should not be your MAIN CONCERN right now. You are now FACED with a DIFFICULT DECISION in a STORY where CHOICES MATTER and EVERY CHOICE is DEEP and MEANINGFUL.

Will you board POD 01 to the moon of NAR SHADDAA... or will you board POD 02 to the moon of NAR SHADDAA?

 

You will NOT leave SUCH A FATEFUL CHOICE to some PALTRY COIN TOSS! Instead, you will leave it in the hands of some COSMIC MUMBO-JUMBO! Seems like a thing ANY SANE MAN would have done. You CLOSE your EYES and CONCENTRATE, FILTERING OUT the FORCE SPAM across the GALAXY to HEAR the FORCE say...



GEEZ, the FORCE should lower the tone of its VOICE!



With YOUR DECISION made for you, you have LITTLE CHOICE but to CHOOSE POD 02 because it is the VASTLY SUPERIOR CHOICE. You have ANALYZED all OUTCOMES in FULL DETAIL inside your MIND and you CONCLUDE that THIS IS THE WAY TO GO. POD 01 is FOR WUSSIES!



It SEEMS the BUTTON won't WORK. POD 02 is NOT OPENING. STUPID BUTTON! CHISS ENGINEERS can't do ANYTHING RIGHT!



POD 01 it is, then!

This entire sequence was brought to you by ChoicesMatter™.



You LEAVE BLUEBALLS behind you as you DESCEND into the SMUGGLER'S MOON BELOW. You are ABSOLUTELY SURE there was NOTHING SPECIAL in POD 02. Nope, NOTHING at ALL!



Somewhere... in the distant corners of the galaxy... you can hear a TOYDARIAN CRYING.



Chapter 1: Barge of Pleasure



You are now a SITH LORD of the PUREST of BLOODLINES. Even though you PRETTY MUCH LOOK LIKE the DEVIL HIMSELF, PEOPLE SHOULDN'T JUDGE OTHERS simply by THEIR APPEARANCE... or so you OFTEN TRY TO TELL THEM. Once, you were a PROUD GRADUATE of the SITH ACADEMY on KORRIBAN. Now, you are in some WASHED UP RELIC of a CANTINA enjoying DRINKS UNWORTHY of YOU.

RATCHET, your PILOT, is MISSING. MORE IMPORTANTLY, SHE has the KEYS to YOUR SHIP! You SHOULD be LOOKING for HER SOMEWHERE, but FIRST...

What is your Darth Title?