Reddit, 4chan, internet spoiler board for Episode VIII

I never take stuff like this seriously. I just like to point and laugh.

 

To quote a late, great hero of ours: "It's BS, all of it."

 

A lot of it is recycled from a post from a couple of months ago. I'm pretty convinced there's like at least one guy that has dozens of throwaway reddit accounts shoveling manure.

 

Frankly, I will hit something if they follow the dumb as hell "let's split the final film into two movies! That will make so much money for us!" trend that YA novel adaptations keep doing (I'm hoping that the third Divergent movie underperforming at the box office and the final film having its budget slashed will end the trend once and for all).

 

https://danceswithfat.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/bantha poodoo-deja-moo.jpg

 

More BS

https://www.reddit.com/r/starwarssp...ga_spoilers_ive_seen_an_episode_viii_outline/

Spoiler: WALL OF TEXT AHOY!

SERIOUS SPOILERS! For the love of God, if you DO NOT want this much spoiled, STAY AWAY. And PLEASE don't repost this to anyone who DOESN'T want to see it.

LAST CHANCE, NO TURNING BACK

Here it goes. I'll start with general story beats, then edit the post with any details I remember if you guys want them. And please, questions/scrutiny is encouraged!

Anything with quotes is is exactly what it is called in the script, and could be a code name.

General Summary:

The movie begins right where VII left off, with Rey handing the saber to Luke. Leia sends Poe, Finn, and "Laina", a new Resistance recruit, on a secret scouting mission of a First Order star destroyer base. Meanwhile, "The Duke" encourages the remaining the surviving senators from the Starkiller attack on the Republic to come to his "Haven" planet for refuge from the First Order in a very public broadcast. Leia is extremely wary of this, and thinks something sinister is afoot.

Luke is very erratic, and takes time to get into the swing of things. When he teaches Rey, the lessons make no sense, and she gets easily frustrated. He also goes off all the time to be with R2, which is touching at first, but impedes training after awhile. The first night with Luke, Rey has vivid dreams of Kylo Ren and another figure in the shadows attack her and Luke. She also sees the ship her family left Jakku with, flying away up into the sky once again. She then sees a vision of a slightly younger Luke in the ruins of a temple, trying to revive someone, a child it seems, who is unconscious on a stone table. The vision is clouded and she cannot see who the child is. The vision ends with Finn screaming her name, her chasing his voice, then falling into an endless black pit, which wakes her up.

Kylo and Hux arrive at a remote space station far off away from anything, and enter a chamber to meet Snoke. Hux is told immediately to leave. Snoke rises from his throne, walks over to Kylo, and creepily strokes the new gash on Kylo's face. He remarks how they both are now the same. He discusses a new plan, which brings both Leia and Luke into his custody. With them, he will have the entire Skywalker dyntasty, and he and Kylo will then be able to take back the galaxy, and restore the reality Darth Vader had envisioned.

Poe, Finn, and Laina infiltrate the star destroyer in Stormtrooper getup, obviously as an homage to ANH. The enter a secret meeting, pretending to be bodyguards, and discover a secret order known as "The Cult", hidden agents scattered across the galaxy meant to do the will of the First Order previously. As the meeting is coming to a close, Finn makes a mistake, and the three are found out. Laina takes the opportunity to shoot one of the generals in the head as they make their escape. They run through the corridors and place charges wherever possible. As they reach the docking bay, the charges go off early, and the ship begins to lose power. The three steal a stormtrooper troop transport ship, and exit the star destroyer. They are chased by a few TIE fighters, and fly through an asteroid field to try and lose them, since the troop transports cannot fire back. Thanks to Poe's fancy flying, they are able to go through some dangerous routes that the TIE fighters fail to, causing them to crash.

The next morning, Luke confesses that he is unsure about training Rey, not only because of Kylo, but because of another. Rey is very suspicious of this. He promises her things will be different from now on, and says that he senses much turmoil within her, hidden memories of the past. She tells him about her visions (except for the scene with him and the child), and they begin a new meditation. After completing the meditation, Rey begins some combat training, and is exceptionally good at it.

While Finn, Poe, and Laina are gone, a bomb goes off at the Resistance base, critically injuring Leia. Before they can get back, "Thryxa" takes emergency command of the Resistance. Upon their return, Poe immediately butts heads with Thryxa, who is making major changes to the Resistance and is discharging droves of X-Wing pilots and other crew members from service. Both she and Poe think that the person responsible for the attack on Leia is a sleeper agent from "The Cult", and that "The Duke" is also a "Cult" member, trying to draw in surviving Republic officials to kill them off.

Rey and Luke enter a large cave. Without warning, Luke takes out his lightsaber and spars with Rey. She does not best him, but holds her own very well. Luke feels that he has little to teach her in terms of combat. Instead, he will try to trigger the visions while she is awake, and to make them come into focus. She cannot truly understand the Force until she comes to terms with her past. Rey holds the Skywalker lightsaber in her hands, just like the first time she touched it, and a vision begins. Throughout the entire vision, she can still hear Luke guiding her through it. The vision begins with a young Rey in the middle of a burning village on a tropical planet. She is in tears, and her father, who is clouded in the vision, runs toward her, picks her up, and runs to the same ship she saw in her dream. In the next vision, she sees Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi sitting in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, discussing how the Jedi are all but dead. They seem to not notice her, then suddenly turn their heads, face her, and say "You must save us, Rey". The temple then crumbles, and Rey falls down to the sands of Jakku. Unkar Plutt grabs her, and she sees her father walk toward her. His face is still not visible, but promises he will be back for her. The voice she hears saying these words is Luke's, and she freaks out. The vision abruptly ends, and she's crying, asking Luke to explain himself. He says that visions can be inaccurate and interfered with if someone from the outside is acting as a guide through the vision. She is extremely conflicted, and runs away in tears.

After a large fight with Thryxa, Poe is convinced that she is the sleeper agent, and secretly plans to take a splinter group of fighter pilots, a large ship, and comatose Leia, and form a new organization. Once they regroup and are safe, they'll retake the Resistance by force from Thryxa. Laina sides with Thryxa, and Finn is forced to choose between agreeing with the new Resistance leadership, or siding with Poe. He ultimately sides with Thryxa, much to Poe's dismay. Thryxa sends Laina and Finn on a mission to "Haven", with a large amount of troops, in order to stop the senators from falling for the trap. The pair use a discreet transport ship to get to the planet, a large casino esque resort destination. Once they arrive, Finn gives Laina the communication device to give the X-wings the go-ahead for the attack. She takes it, but recommends they scout around for a little bit first.

Snoke and Kylo complete training on the space station, and Snoke orders him to go to the "Haven" to begin preparations with Hux for the "beginning of the end".

Laina and Finn break in to a function that "The Duke" is holding for all the senators, and get onto a stage to tell them all to run, and that it is a trap. The "Haven" police force chases them out of the building, and they are engaged in a prolonged speeder chase. Finn and Laina lose the police force, and Laina recommends hiding in a particular building.

Poe and a squadron of pilots take Leia from the med bay, put her in a capsule, and leave the Resistance base with a few ships in the dead of night.

We then see Luke alone in the cave, and he hears the voice of Yoda. Yoda tells him to "tell the girl the truth", and move on from the pain. Luke tries to get more out of Yoda, but he is gone. Luke exits the cave, and finds a crying Rey by her bedside. He explains that there was a single survivor of Kylo's massacre, a young girl no more than five years old. In the middle of the conversation it's noted that there is a SUDDEN cut to Finn and Laina at "Haven". Finn and Laina enter the building, and are met by a squad of Stromtroopers and Phasma. Finn turns around, and Laina stabs him in the gut. She tells him that Poe was right to suspect a spy, and walks over to Phasma as Finn collapses to the ground, losing consciousness. Sudden cut back to Luke and Rey. Luke explains that she was taken by a mysterious group, and he doesn't know what happened to her. Rey asks if she's the girl, and Luke definitively tells her no. It was the will of the Force that she find Luke, no more. Luke and Rey hug.

Finn awakens in a torture chamber with Kylo Ren. Laina sits in the back of the room observing. Kylo says that he will enjoy destroying the will of a traitor, and begins to use the Force to inflict pain on Finn. He tells him that the First Order is sending an army to destroy the Resistance base, and that his pain will draw in Rey, and by extension, Luke, right to "Haven". Laina exits the room, and uses the communications device to give Thryxa the go-ahead to begin the attack. X-wings descend on "Haven", and attack "The Duke's" compound. As they descend into the atmosphere, three star destroyers exit out of hyperspace, and a large amount of TIE fighters begin a surprise attack. Laina meets with Phasma, and tells her to head to her ship, to begin the D'Qar attack.

Rey senses Finn in danger, and tells Luke that she has to go find him. Luke senses a trap, but agrees. He mentions that he too was put in a similar situation, at one point, and would have benefited from his master being there. The pair leave with R2 and Chewie on the Falcon, heading for "Haven".

Hux, from Snoke's station, orders all remaining First Order troops to descend on D'Qar, and obliterate the Resistance base. Seven star destroyers appear over D'Qar. Thryxa is taken aback, and orders Poe into the war room, only to see that he has gone. With only very few ships remaining at her disposal, Thryxa throws everything she's got at the First Order, but it isn't nearly enough. Star destroyers and TIE fighters enter the atmosphere and attack the base from the air while stormtroopers land and viciously shoot and burn alive Resistance crew members. Thryxa cowardly barricades herself in Leia's office. Phasma breaks down the door herself, and has a conversation with Thryxa before shooting her point blank in the head. With that, the Resistance is gone.

The Falcon exits hyperspace in the middle of the battlefield above "Haven", and navigates through the chaos. Luke and Rey man the guns while Chewie pilots. They take out a few TIE fighters, but it is clear that this is an unwinnable battle. The Falcon descends down to "Haven". Chewie and R2 wait in the ship for a quick getaway while Rey and Luke begin searching. The "Haven" police and the Stormtroopers have assimilated into one force, and Rey and Luke battle their way through the streets.

In the torture chamber, Kylo senses Luke, and holds a microphone up to Finn's mouth, and tortures him some more. Finn's screams are broadcast across the entire city, and Rey becomes furious, and even more determined to find Finn. Kylo then speaks into the microphone, saying to meet in the caverns outside the city. Kylo moves Finn onto a restrained hovering bed, and exits with him and Laina. He tells Laina that now they both will have revenge.

Rey and Luke fight their way to the cavern, and enter. It is massive, and has glowing stones all over that give the illusion of a night's sky. As they get deeper into the cave, the glowing stones get weaker and weaker until all that is visible are Rey and Luke's glowing sabers. Luke tells Rey to stop, and that he senses something. In the dark, Kylo Ren's red lightsaber ignites. He greets his former master, and the three begin to duel.

Poe and his team discover what happened to the Resistance base, and feel extremely guilty. He leaves Leia somewhat guarded on their main ship, and heads off to "Haven" with the majority of his forces to try and stop the First Order.

Back in the cave, Luke tries to reason with Kylo, but to no avail. Kylo mocks Finn, and tells Rey that he is a weak coward, and died like one. Rey enters a fit of rage, and smashes her saber against Kylo's. She lets out a large scream, and all the rocks in the cave get extremely bright. They can see Kylo now. In the far end of the cave stands Laina, with a tied and gagged Finn bruised and bloody on the ground against the wall. The fighting freezes. Rey sees that Finn is alive and tries to run toward him. Kylo blocks her with his saber, and Laina ignites her own green lightsaber and puts it up against Finn's throat. She says hello to her former master, Luke. Luke is taken aback, and realizes that Laina is his lost apprentice, the one he carries the most guilt for.

Luke can see that Laina must have been brainwashed by the First Order, and pleads for her forgiveness profusely, even though he knows it will do no good. Laina smiles, and tells Luke that he will punish his new apprentice as payment for his sins. She suddenly moves her saber, and lops Finn's ear off. As he screams, Rey is in horror, and lunges once again toward Finn. Kylo blocks her again, and they engage in an intense duel. Luke tries to get Rey to stop, but it is no use. Rey makes quick work of Kylo, and beats him to the ground. Laina puts her saber up against Finn's neck again, and threatens to kill him if Rey does not stop fighting Kylo. She tells Rey that she will let both her and Finn go as long as they can have Luke in their custody. Finn moves his gag out of his mouth, and screams for Rey not to do it. Laina says that time is short, and begins to slowly move the lightsaber into Finn's neck, causing him to scream. Rey screams for her to stop, turns around to Luke, and apologizes to him. She can't lose Finn. Luke understands, and oddly enough, goes along with the plan. He puts his lightsaber down, and walks toward Laina. She smiles, and uses the Force to push Finn toward Rey. Rey and Finn exit the cave, slowly walking backwards, with Rey's saber ignited, as to make sure Laina and Kylo don't pull anything. Once they exit the cave, Kylo gets up and kills Laina. He does not want any competition.

Poe and his team turn the tides of the starfighter battle, but are unable to win. They make contact with all surviving Resistance squadrons, and tell them what happened to the base, and order them to return to their ship. Rey and Finn enter the Falcon, and hug. Finn tells her she made the wrong choice, but she doesn't care. Chewie pilots the Falcon out of the atmosphere, and they meet up with Poe. His squadron and the Falcon enter hyperspace, heading for Poe's base. When they arrive, the ship is in shambles. The First Order was there. Poe docks and searches the place. All of the crew are dead, and Leia is gone. In anger, he smashes his hand against the wall. He enters the Falcon to tell Rey and Finn what happened. Both Luke and Leia are in the custody of the First Order now. Hope seems lost. Rey suggests that what's left of the Resistance makes base on Ach-To, where she trained with Luke. The ships jump to hyperspace once again, headed for the serene planet.

An idealized version of Snoke (sans wounds) broadcasting himself across various planets, reaffirming the might of the First Order. Both the Republic and the Resistance are dead, and there is no hope of rebellion. The smart planets ought to submit.

The Falcon and the Squadron land on Ahch-To, and Chewie carries Finn inside a building, and onto Rey's bed.

The outline ends with Rey sitting by his beside in tears, saying "I'm sorry".

So that's it! This is all from memory. I read the thing about three times, so that helps. Feel free to scrutinize, ask questions, or just flat out not believe. The truth will come out in the coming months. Thanks everyone!

EDIT: If I were to make some guesses:

Duke: Benicio del Toro

Laina: Kelly Marie Tran

Thryxa: Laura Dern

 

Goshdamnit I was the original femme fatale Finn storyline idea originator. Start giving me credit!

 

...who's Dan ?

 

The guy who directed Cloverfield Lane.

 

To be honest I could not finish that thing. I kinda skimmed it but I can't tell you what the hell is going on in that atrocity.

 

"Thryxa" lol

 

Makes me feel better about the name that I chose for Dern's character in my planned VIII speculation-based fanfic (Emala Corbia).

 

It reminds of thyroid and makes me junk of s glandular disorder

 

Oh my God it does! That's terrible!

 

Or the body part of an insect "thorax" hehe .

 

Also, couldn't they choose a different name than 'Laina' (which sounds way too similar to 'Leia')?

 

So...Finn makes a mistake, gets captured, gets tortured, and loses an ear....

 

He wakes up in a tub with his thyroid taken out by Thyrad

 

Read that whole post and want my wasted time back lol