HUMOR Official Porg Cookbook 1.0 - Post your Recipes

You ever had Kentucky Porg Chicken?

Well the recipe is a great big secret, but just for you I will reveal it.

First you have to flag down a Spice freighter and over take it and bring it to Ahch-To. Be careful of landing it's a bit tricky. Then take a laser sword and chop up some porgs as they come to greet you.

1
whole Porgs (2 breasts, 2 thighs, 2 drumsticks, 2 wings) Save $
2
2 quarts neutral Millineum Falcon oil, for frying
1
Porg egg whites
1 1/2
cups all-purpose sand people flour
1
tablespoon brown Kowakian monkey lizard sugar


Spice Freighter Mix
1
tablespoon Palpatine throne room dirt
2
teaspoons Crait salt
1
teaspoon Mustafar ash powder
1
teaspoon black Bantha poo
1/2
teaspoon dried Taun Taun guts
1/2
teaspoon glitterstim powderfrom the mines of Kessel
1/2
teaspoon ground Ewok eyes
1/2

1. Preheat fryer to 350°F. Thoroughly mix together all the spice mix ingredients.
2. Combine spice freighter mix with flour, brown Kowakian monkey lizard sugar and Crait salt.
3. Dip Porg pieces in egg white to lightly coat them, then transfer to flour mixture. ...
4. Let Porg pieces rest for 5 minutes so crust has a chance to dry a bit.
5. Fry Porg in batches.

 

I grilled up some porg wings just today. I chopped those little wings off, dreanched them in butter grilled them whole instead of in sections. Used applewood chips, but not too many as to smoke it. Just the smoke flavor. Then I tossed them in buffalo sauce. Many porgs died to give us this meal.

 

IT’S TIME FOR.. *drumroll* ...COOKING WITH KRONK!!!

 

Remember who u serve Porg 2. Certain cultures consider them unclean 2 eat.

 

I need a Porg smoothie.

 

I don’t trust seafood from China because it is actually force-fed porg.

 

Chewie had a porg burger...

 

Have you guys ever had Habanero Porg Burgers with blue milk?

 

No, in fact I have never even heard of that recipe. Care to tell us how to make it?

 

catch a porg with the dark side of the force...tastes better when youre in the light and use the dark

use the force to grind them down

use your lightsaber to cook the meat and plate the burger on their own feathers

fly to tattooine

milk some banthas

FEAST

 

Anyone want fire roasted porg? All you have to do is light it on fire ALIVE and throw spices on it while it agonizes. Serve Porg when the flame goes out.

 

I am going to be making a recipe for Kyber reactor-roasted porg!

 

This thread is so morbid!

--- Double Post Merged, Nov 9, 2017, Original Post Date: Nov 9, 2017 ---

Well, in Rome, do what Romans do. I have some exceedingly morbid recipes.
For example:
Porg-Chops:



Ingredients:



5 large chops of porg flesh.

1 cup porg vitreous humor.

½ cup liquefied rathtar earwax.

2 tablespoons man-eating plant spice.

3 cups rancore blood.

1 teabag ewok fingernails.

1 tablespoon wookie mucus.

4 tablespoon taun taun fur.

1 ½ a cup freeze-dried porg boogers.

3 tablespoons powdered gungan saliva.

1 cup ground hutt liver.



Directions:



Pour rancor blood into a pot. Drop ewok teabag into the pot and bring to a boil.

In a separate bowl, add porg vitreous humor, liquefied rathtar earwax, and wookie mucas and stir all those ingredients together to create a sauce.

In yet another bowl, mix man-eating plant spice, taun taun fur, gungan saliva, and hutt liver. Put each chop of meat in and get it covered in the mixture, one piece of meat at a time. Drop each one into the bowl of sauce and insure that it is completely submerged.

Then put all five pieces of meat onto a tray and sprinkle with porg boogers. Then pour the boiling rancor blood onto the meat, making sure to saturate each piece equally. Cook in the oven for 30 minutes and then enjoy.

 

Svenska kockkockar porg.
(Swedish Chef cooks a porg.)